Life is pointless when your single

[OnionOnions]

How can you stop feeling like life is pointless empty or sad if you don’t have a partner? I really wish I was one of those people that loved or embraced being single but I don’t I absolutely hate it. The only reason I stay single is because I’m a single parent and have my kids full time so can’t make a relationship work. If I didn’t I would be doing anything I could to find a loving relationship. I just feel life is better when you have someone by your side, to share it with. Is it normal to feel this way? I’m in my 30s so most people are settling down now and I feel like I will be alone forever.

Thats very naive.

My mum was a single parent. She told me that the hardest days of her life was raising me and my brothers as a single parent

It’s all gone a bit JD Vance 🐈

100% - abusive predatory men can sniff desperation a mile off and hone in on women who think any bloke is better than bring single.

Honestly OP you need to change your mindset and widen your horizons. Yes there’s more to life than being a mum but there’s much more than just being someone partner.

Life is what you make it - being single can be absolutely fulfilling, peaceful, exciting and thriving. It’s what YOU make

Honestly being single can be the best gift a woman can give herself - I certainly could never ever live with a man again.

There’s a lot more to life than being a Mum but most Mums wouldn’t say their life is pointless because they are single. Poor kids

I agree op.

Some people need and want romantic relationships more than others. I don't think you're weird for wanting this and neither is someone weird for being happily single. It must be difficult to focus on a romantic relationship with the responsibilities of children. I don't believe you will be alone forever but even so happiness cannot be placed entirely in a relationship with another person. I would try and lean on other relationships for the time being like friendships or family relationships and find other things that bring you meaning, purpose, joy. I agree Christmas is a difficult time if you are feeling lonely.

Become like the woman this guy describes and you won't care any more. https://www.tiktok.com/@gettothepointbro/video/7495548922002165022

I am happily single for four years and I just don't want to know about men any more. I have my hobbies, I have my cat, I go where I want when I want, and I don't have to think about interacting with anyone once I get home and close the door. It's great.

If you don't have a hobby, take one up. I hardly watch TV.

It's sad you feel that way OP. Being a single parent isn't easy if you feel alone.

My ds is the centre of my world, and I have waited until he doesn't need so much of me. The last 15 years have been the opposite of pointless.

When ds leaves for uni next September, I'll look for a partner. That will be lovely, and I'll have fun looking, even if I don't find anyone. I've already booked a couple of courses for 2026 to meet more people. 🙂

And plenty of partners grow up to have leaky bladders that need clean-up and to complain about the state of the house and to fantasise about the hot new twenty-something neighbour who does the gardening in her bra.

If you idealise a relationship of course you will miss it. And plenty of relationships are good, but just dip into these boards and you will see how many women would love a clean slate to follow their own instincts for where they want to go in life. You have to see the upsides of the situation you are in - because there always is one.

This. @OnionOnions

I think I understand what you’re getting at OP. I’m 53. Have been a single parent since my DC was 5. Nearly 20 now (with some significant problems). It’s not being single for a while that bothers me. I like my own company and am independent - I’ve had to be as no support at from family or Ex H.

It’s the duration of having to make every single decision on my own - no shared responsibility, the stress of no one there to help if I’m sick, and someone there for an adult conversation or hug. I know not all relationships are perfect, so I try not to dwell on it, but unless you’ve been there, I think it’s very difficult for people to understand.

Hopefully, 2026 will be our year. 🙏

The most dangerous person to have around your kids is an unrelated man. Single mums who hop from man to man endanger their children.

Get a female babysitter and go take a dance class or play carpet bowls or take up the ukulele or whatever else takes your fancy every week. You will feel better having a night off from being mum.

Still fun at 42.
The problem is the attitude. Your life is what you make it and if you wanted to start the thread just to find more misery in your life, that's your choice too.
You can make a different choice in life if you want to. Or not. But then, don't complain that your life feels pointless.

would never use a babysitter.

you need a partner in life, that doesn't mean everyone does!

"Needing" a partner to live a full and happy life is your subjective opinion (which you are fully entitled to), not an objective universal truth, anymore than "chocolate is delicious" or "brad pitt is sexy" or "15 degrees is too hot to wear a coat" or anything else.

Thank you

You are making a rod for your own back. You can't moan about never having a night off if you won't do the one really obvious thing that would give you a night off.

To be honest, your life might be pointless (you don’t sound very appealing/interesting/enriched), but that doesn’t mean other single people are like you and feel the same.

Ultimately life is what you make it and if your life is shit, you need to take responsibility for that. You’re big big 30+, surely you’d be a bit further established in life where you don’t have to rely on relationships for happiness. If you want to date, there’s countless ways for you to meet people in 2026. There’s about a dozen apps you can try in the space of a few minutes?

For me, I have a well paid career, constantly get promoted, travel often, have good relationships outside of dating, so being in a relationship is just the cherry on top. If I was single, it wouldn’t hugely disrupt my life because I own my own place and can afford to maintain it. I don’t really have time to be fussing over how pointless life is because I have goals I am working towards and a path I’m happy with.

Yeah, I find that men usually have a desperate need to be in a relationship, more so than women. They tend to get more done for them.

But you’d bring in an unrelated man under their roof?

Yep hence they're looking for a nanny with a fanny/nurse with a purse often quoted on MN

It’s really insulting and a bit ridiculous to imply that ALL single people’s lives are pointless. YOU may feel incomplete without a partner, but many others , myself included, cannot think of any reason I would want a man to disrupt my busy, fulfilled independent life. And I too would suggest some therapy to work out why you have this really miserable and defeatist opinion. Oh, except you won’t leave your children with any babysitter do you can’t ever get a break … there is your problem, not your single state.

Some very lacking in empathy responses here that I fancy cone from those who don’t have experience of how incredibly hard being a single parent is.
OP it IS hard and those who say that life is your responsibility to make the most of it probably don’t get how futile that can feel when you hav little village in the first place.

I’ve been a single parent to 2 DC for 4 and a half years since I left my EXDP. I would LOVE to have a DH who is kind, loving, supportive and patient.

Until I find the right guy, I’m comfortable being single, and don’t feel like my life is pointless at all.

Perhaps you should look into some therapy as you could be at risk of becoming depressed, and your DC need you to be there for them.

Are you saying my life is pointless? Happy New Year to me. Thank you so much for making me feel like shit in the last few hours of 2025. FFS.

This is all part of the problem. You are surrounded by women who think men are the answer to your problems. You are feeding off each others echo chamber. And, unfortunately, men very rarely are. I am very confident that it will be women from groups like you have described your friends to be, that will be starting half the threads on here of awful men who are adding absolutely no value other than being men.