Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

[Boymum2811]

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

So your soon to be finance bought the ring you told him you love? Sorry I can't see the issue here. He seems perfect, if a bit dim that he had it delivered to home.

An engagement and marriage are about a lifetime together. Not one moment of a proposal.

You will have a ring to wear every day which you love and a fiance you love. Seems like a win win to me.

I’ve never understood the whole waiting to be asked thing, just wear the ring and plan your future

this is insane

Overreacting. This might seems like a massive deal right now, but it won't be in a couple of years.

you burst out crying???????

You’re massively overreacting. Let your partner take care of the ring and let him decide when and where to bring it out. In the meantime, put it out if your mind and focus on Christmas.

Seriously, the engagement isn't important. You've already discussed marriage and agreed you both want to marry. So this was never going to be a surprise. It's a moment in time which will quickly become much less important than other dates.

I would suggest you put the ring on, and then you're engaged. Just like a wedding day isn't important - it's the marriage not the wedding that counts - so too the proposal isn't of itself important. It's the decision you both want to marry that's important, and you've already done that.

Sorry you are feeling cheated of your moment - but it seems like neither the proposal nor the ring were real 'surprises' anyway? Also, from someone who has been around the block, the bloke and the marriage are far more valuable than these moments/tokens we've been told to place such heavy significance on. So, just enjoy your partner and the lovely ring and here is wishing the marriage is the one to give you lasting and real joy.

Adults should be discussing their future and agreeing to get married (as you seem to have done). You don’t need a “surprise”

I don't think a proposal should be a massive surprise? Stop worrying and enjoy it! (If you still want it to be a surprise, you could get in first and propose to him!)

(Also, is it possible it's actually some jewellery for Christmas and you're leaping to conclusions??)

Massively overreacting FFS.

And why did you even see the ring inside the packaging? I've had several items delivered from Ernest Jones, at the very least it would have been in a ring box inside another box for delivery - and the courier wouldn't have a clue whether it was a ring, earrings or a watch.

So you know he’s going to ask you, you’ve chosen your ring and you’re crying because this has all been accidentally confirmed by a delivery guy????!

With kindness, this is a very over the top reaction.

The only surprise left was timing, which will still be a surprise surely?

In the kindest possible way, you're overacting.

How wonderful you have both the man, and the ring you want. Many of us never get either.

It's a lovely thing. Enjoy celebrating your future marriage with an engagement to the man you love, however the proposal now happens.

Not really a surprise when you picked out the ring yourself. Yes the delivery guy shouldn’t have said what it is, but you knew it was coming surely.

Jesus come on now OP.

Two adults have made an adult decision to get married.

You chose a ring purposely so he'd know which one to buy and in which size.

Yes, unfortunately it's no longer a surprise but does it really matter?

The point is, you both want to be engaged and you both will be.

My other half proposed nearly four years before we even bought an engagement ring. We lived together and when I saw one I liked one lunch hour we met up for me to try it on. I bought it on my credit card (he paid me back) and I've worn it for over 30 years. Clearly over the top romantic proposals are not for me!

You burst out crying?! Are you 12? I think you should cancel as you don’t sound emotionally mature enough to get married.

I can't believe I'm reading this. The man you love has bought the ring you wanted. This is a very nice thing.

@Boymum2811 , if this "ruins" it for you, I'd suggest you aren't mature enough for a lifetime commitment like marriage.

(Unless you're extremely pregnant, and consequently hormonal, in which case I hope rationality returns soon)

Are you are a 5 yo believing in Santa lol that was funny to read. Only if all of us had your problems. Lucky girl that doesnt know she is lucky ;)

I think the vast majority of women whose partners propose have at least an inkling even when they swear blind it was a big surprise.

I think you were completely over reacting and frankly a bit shitty to your bf, to make a big deal of it. I’d have put the package on the side and let him have his moment.

The courier spoiled it for you but you spoiled it for your bf.

Buckle up for the hen night and wedding arrangement dramas, because they’re clearly going to be epic.

You don't have to be 'asked'. You've already jointly decided what you want to do, which is as things should be as a couple of fully autonomous adults.

I don't comprehend what the problem is here.

I can’t work out what you’re upset about
you’ve discussed marriage
your partner has bought a ring you love
the proposal was never going to be a surprise
the delivery person was doing his job and he’s been the subject of a complaint
what is actually the issue?

I would be thrilled...and over the moon he did that. Run to him and ask to open the box NOW!!!!!! As i cant wait, and i am impatient and cant wait to be engaged to him :)))))

I'll hazard a guess they live together already, so she can probably wait 4 days to open it.