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Original poster

Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

294 replies

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

OP posts:
MissDoubleU · 21/12/2025 15:36

I gave my DH my top five favourite rings and let him choose. He picked the moment he was going to do it but we both planned the weekend it was happening. Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are that way because they aren’t a complete surprise. I personally like not being blindsided. A bit of prep and a bit of say in how I would like things, then I can relax and allow him to take charge of the little details. I have no idea at which point of the weekend he was going to be pulling that ring out. It was perfect.

ResusciAnnie · 21/12/2025 15:37

Can you explain how it was going to be surprising, though, if you’ve chosen the ring and know it’s coming?! Agree that the postie was odd to mention what was in the parcel this close to Christmas. I often sign for deliveries, no need to know what’s inside.

FleurDeFleur · 21/12/2025 15:39

HoppityBun · 21/12/2025 14:06

Buckle up for the hen night and wedding arrangement dramas, because they’re clearly going to be epic.

Show quote history

Dear god.

100jamjars · 21/12/2025 15:39

It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it

The exciting special moment is when you both realise you want to marry.
You know he'll ask you, he knows you'll say yes. It's not really about a ring in my opinion. I suppose I would say that though because I didn't want an 'engagement ring'.

We were in the pub and we were talking about his cousin getting married.
He said "That's what I'd like too, would you?" I said yes I would and we got married in the register office 2 months later. So I suppose not typical.

But you're both wildly overreacting. Upset and flat?

Lemonyyy · 21/12/2025 15:39

I wouldn’t have told dp I knew and just waited for the proposal….yes you know it’s coming but you didn’t have to look at the ring or let on that you knew, you already knew it was happening soon anyway! I’d think it was funny rather than devastating. You could’ve still had a lovely proposal moment rather than a tantrum!

FleurDeFleur · 21/12/2025 15:40

I can't believe you burst out crying. You discussed marriage, you tried on rings, he bought you a ring.
Just try to get a sense of proportion here.

RoamingToaster · 21/12/2025 15:40

It was a bit dumb of the postman to mention what it was given how close to Christmas we are and presumably it was addressed to a man so you weren't the one buying it. I wouldn't say it was as bad as a cock up.

I think this could just be an amusing tale you share. Life isn't perfect. This is still a positive thing and I wouldn't be upset about it. You knew you were going to be proposed to, so I don't see the issue with knowing he has a ring.

Loobyloolovesandypandy · 21/12/2025 15:43

This is a pathetic first world problem

beeautifullif3 · 21/12/2025 15:43

I think he should run away very very quickly lol

Miranda65 · 21/12/2025 15:44

Well, I wouldn't be impressed at all with someone who bought an engagement ring online/by post.
But then I've never understood the concept of proposing with an actual ring - it's far nicer and more romantic to go shopping together, after the proposal has been made and accepted.

But, OP, the actual marriage is WAY more important. If you love him and want to marry him, then just crack on with organising the wedding. This will just become a funny story you tell when you're both old and dribbling into your cocoa!

SingtotheCat · 21/12/2025 15:45

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 14:49

Goodness me! I definitely think a lot of you got out on the wrong side of the bed. I'm telling you a snippet of the story.

My partner was also genuinely upset. He WANTS it to be special, not finding out a ring I liked was delivered and basically blurted out wrongly by the Delivery guy.

Why would we not want it to feel special it's what we BOTH want..of course I know he would ask, of course I know we will get married eventually. But there a very few occasions in someone's life you get a special intimate moment like proposing. So yes I can totally get on board with overreacting but also who doesn't want to feel special and it be romantic and that's what he wants.

There really is some unhappy human beings on here, and to comment on someone having a child, look in the mirror, you are slating a mother over the internet.

Anyway thanks to those who understand a little about how I was feeling. I appreciate it.

Have a lovely day all!

It still is special!
Other humans get in the way and mess things up for others all the time. You can either let things like this overshadow your life, because small shit like this will always happen, or you can acknowledge your relationship and the future you’ll have together as really special and the delivery as just an annoying blip.
Do you honestly really care about social media? This is about you and your boyfriend, not everyone else.

mydogisthebest · 21/12/2025 15:45

If your partner was that bothered about making it such a special "surprise" maybe he should have made sure he opened the door to the delivery guy. Or, of course, he could have had the ring delivered to an address other than where you both live!

Alpacajigsaw · 21/12/2025 15:46

Why on earth would you even consider telling him to send it back? Get over yourself honestly.

FleurDeFleur · 21/12/2025 15:48

You live together and have children together?
Come on, just put it out of your mind or have a laugh about it.

Scout2016 · 21/12/2025 15:49

What exactly is your DP asking you OP? You have already made it very clear yes you will marry him. He has made it clear he wants to marry you. Therefore you have agreed you plan to marry one another. So aren't you already engaged?

We had that conversation - shall we get married? Yes, we agree we both want to, let's make the necessary plans and do it. Technically we were engaged from point weren't we?

SingtotheCat · 21/12/2025 15:51

And of course you can be disappointed. Sit with it and then move on. Show us the ring when the time comes?

PeachyKoala · 21/12/2025 15:51

You are far too immature to be getting married. Why on earth did you cry?

FleurDeFleur · 21/12/2025 15:52

Is this about a surprised expression for social media?

Beezz · 21/12/2025 15:55

I feel for you OP. There are women on here that have a melt down if I shop asks for their email address but seem to be uncharacteristically relaxed when a courier announces the contents of your partner’s package to whoever happens to answer the door.

topcat2014 · 21/12/2025 15:55

It's these lumpy things that make a life. We don't live in films. Pop the ring on your finger and wear it over Christmas!

FleurDeFleur · 21/12/2025 15:57

Beezz · 21/12/2025 15:55

I feel for you OP. There are women on here that have a melt down if I shop asks for their email address but seem to be uncharacteristically relaxed when a courier announces the contents of your partner’s package to whoever happens to answer the door.

It could be that they are different posters.

sarahbear87 · 21/12/2025 15:57

Blimey I'm going to go Against the grain here I disagree that you are unreasonable to be disappointed. Yes you knew a proposal was imminent but it's only human to be disappointed when something does happen the way you thought it would. Having said that op I think in a few years time when ye are married this will just be a funny story. So the proposal wasn't special but what you and your soon to be fiance have is. Hold on to that and best wishes to you both x

SerafinasGoose · 21/12/2025 15:58

Summerhillsquare · 21/12/2025 14:11

You're all literally correct, but I think most of you also know that the proposal is typically thought of as a big deal, especially for the social media promotion. Women are made to feel like they are not valued if it hasn't been done a certain way.

It's this 'made to feel' idea that people on this board are mainly taking issue with. It's antediluvian, misogynistic nonsense. The measure of a woman's worth does not hinge on her ability to catch and keep a man.

It seems to me that in recent years, from the 2010s onward, we are regressing in this respect rather than the reverse.

CraftyPlayer · 21/12/2025 16:00

Wow I think people are being so harsh! Most of us only plan on getting married once, so to miss out on the proposal moment is kind of a big deal! I get it op.

LWP · 21/12/2025 16:03

CraftyPlayer · 21/12/2025 16:00

Wow I think people are being so harsh! Most of us only plan on getting married once, so to miss out on the proposal moment is kind of a big deal! I get it op.

I do agree, although a lot of us just want OP to have a positive engagement moving forward 😢 not worth ruining it over the ring. However I wouldn’t have liked to receive my engagement ring in the post, especially not like that…