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Original poster

Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

294 replies

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

OP posts:
Elbowpatch · 21/12/2025 15:16

DirtyGertiefromno30 · 21/12/2025 15:15

What immature rubbish have l just read 🙄

If it’s even real.

Gowlett · 21/12/2025 15:17

Send it back? Take the ring & get married!

Yodeldodeldo · 21/12/2025 15:18

I think if you make too much fuss over this he might change his mind about marrying you anyway.

He's probably wondering how you'll react on your wedding day if anything at all unexpected happens, or any of life's light and shade occasions.

OttersMayHaveShifted · 21/12/2025 15:18

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 14:49

Goodness me! I definitely think a lot of you got out on the wrong side of the bed. I'm telling you a snippet of the story.

My partner was also genuinely upset. He WANTS it to be special, not finding out a ring I liked was delivered and basically blurted out wrongly by the Delivery guy.

Why would we not want it to feel special it's what we BOTH want..of course I know he would ask, of course I know we will get married eventually. But there a very few occasions in someone's life you get a special intimate moment like proposing. So yes I can totally get on board with overreacting but also who doesn't want to feel special and it be romantic and that's what he wants.

There really is some unhappy human beings on here, and to comment on someone having a child, look in the mirror, you are slating a mother over the internet.

Anyway thanks to those who understand a little about how I was feeling. I appreciate it.

Have a lovely day all!

Don't be silly. The only poster being miserable is you - you are the one crying! Crying instead of being happy that your partner wants to marry you and had bought you a ring you wanted! It's understandable to be a little disappointed at the ring arriving like it did, but not something to cry about. Sending it back would be a baffling overreaction!

TheCosyViewer · 21/12/2025 15:19

Surely when you’re DP realised you’d taken delivery of the ring, you’d both have had a laugh about the drama of it. I’d have thought your DP should have proposed there and then and it would all have been lovely. It would be an amusing story/memory to have.

Over40Overdating · 21/12/2025 15:19

You are totally right, everyone telling you you overreacted and are blowing this out of all proportion is just bitter and unhappy.

As will be the people who don’t treat you like a princess when planning your wedding, which you definitely won’t become unhinged by.

Maybe take this as a symbol of the reality of life - sometimes things don’t go to plan. You don’t always get the big special moment. But if your head is screwed on, you’ll still see that you have a good partner, and a pretty charmed life if something that’s pretty arbitrary in the grand scheme of things - presumably given you choose the ring and knew it would happen at some stage there’s no great surprise here - is enough to have you crying, calling people twats and being a passive aggressive drama llama.

NortyElf · 21/12/2025 15:19

You have children so obviously live together - how much of a shock was it? Just put the ring on and enjoy! At least you have a funny story!!

Northerngirl821 · 21/12/2025 15:20

You chose the ring and he bought the ring you chose, what “surprise” has actually been ruined? You obviously know a proposal is imminent because you’ve talked about getting engaged.

He can still put it away and surprise you with a romantic Instagram-friendly proposal at an unknown time if that’s what you want. Respectfully, I think you are turning this into a much bigger upset than it needs to be.

catontheironingboard · 21/12/2025 15:20

Massive overreaction. You aren’t a Disney Princess who needs coddling like in a romantic film, presumably? Why would you be crying and carrying on over this like a child?

CopeNorth · 21/12/2025 15:22

I’ve happily found out the best bit is the actual marriage. Don’t get hung up on the engagement and it being perfect. Focus on your life together and look at this as a funny story you’ll look back on. It’s only a big deal if that’s how you approach it.

Forever1973 · 21/12/2025 15:22

Oh, no, don't send it back! Come your Silver Wedding anniversary, this will be a funny story for your DH to tell about how he'd planned a surprise proposal and the jewellers messed it up.

You're marrying the man you love and he's bought you the ring you love (Ernest Jones have some beautiful rings in at the moment) - don't let this be tainted by a small mishap.

hitmewithatottie · 21/12/2025 15:23

sprinklytree · 21/12/2025 14:27

How did the delivery driver know it was ‘expensive gold’?

I’m probably missing the point here…

Quite - he absolutely wouldn't.

Seelybee · 21/12/2025 15:24

@Boymum2811 the whole thing is nonsense. You know he's going to ask you, you tried on rings together and now he's followed it through and bought the ring you liked best. Yes, he could have collected it but other than that there's no surprise here regardless. So how has it spoilt everything? You sound rather immature tbh.

Shedeboodinia · 21/12/2025 15:25

Well it's not really a surprise noe even if he did send the ring back. Just ask him to hide it and surprise you one day with it in an unusual way if you really want a surprise. It will just all become a funny story you can laugh about over the years.
Now you know he is intending to ask you at some point, don't be a drama queen and demand he sends it back for a huge surprise with a different ring as he may decide you are too much like hard work and not ask you again.

MissMay95 · 21/12/2025 15:27

#bridezilla 😬😬😬

Mistyglade · 21/12/2025 15:29

You do sound very immature, you’ve got everything you want yet you’ve found reason to ruin it for yourself. Perhaps you’re not really ready for such a big life change.

LongDarkTeatime · 21/12/2025 15:29

Could there be a chance you’ve been caught up in Insta and TikTok videos of extra special proposals? The majority of people’s experiences are not performative like that. You’ll get lots of chances foe special spontaneous moment during your long life together. You’ll also get disappointments you need to adjust to. For example if you’re lucky enough to have kids. The ideas you have for their birth and early years are highly likely to need to change. It’s part of life.
Congratulations on the upcoming engagement. How lovely to have a partner who is so considerate. I hope you enjoy the exciting life, full of surprises, ahead of you.

BDenergy · 21/12/2025 15:30

I can sort of understand why you’re both disappointed if you wanted a surprise proposal even though I don’t really get it myself.

Thinking about telling him to send the ring back and not get engaged because of it is ridiculous. He can still plan a proposal if this is important to you.

I found the empty box and receipt for my engagement ring. I didn’t ruin anything for us.

Clearinguptheclutter · 21/12/2025 15:31

its not ideal but you are overreacting

a few weeks before he actually did my dh dropped massive hints he was planning to propose. Which isn’t ideal but I understand he wanted to know my reaction

a few weeks later I literally set it all up for him. I was 99% certain he’d propose on a particular day and it turns out he did. So zero element of surprise and not very romantic really but not surprising for my very pragmatic and practical dh

Original poster
Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 15:31

Thanks all. Tbf we both did laugh afterwards and yes the delivery guy did say it was from Ernest Jones and Gold of a high value, plus the sticker on the front said Ernest Jones. My partner was stood behind me at the door peed off when he realised what was happening. So unfortunately it isn't made up, the delivery guy or store cocked up!

I actually agree it will be a funny story to tell, I just think we both wanted it to happen differently.

Also in response to those asking what my child or being a mother has to do with it, your right nothing but some lovely people on here are insinuating I must be a terrible mother because I was upset over this.

I 100% agree I overreacted but I don't agree that I'm not allowed to feel a bit disappointed.

OP posts:
Funnywonder · 21/12/2025 15:32

I can’t believe you’re making a fuss over the poor delivery guy mentioning what was in the package. It wasn’t his fault. He was just explaining why it needed to be signed for. He doesn’t get paid enough to worry about whether he’s ruining someone’s surprise.

MissDoubleU · 21/12/2025 15:32

Knowing that you are going to be proposed to in the nearish future and knowing which ring you’re going to get absolutely in no way ruins the specialness of the proposal. You don’t know when he will do it or how. Let him plan something and relax a little. You are way way overreacting. You could just be excited that it’s happening.

ginasevern · 21/12/2025 15:33

catontheironingboard · 21/12/2025 15:20

Massive overreaction. You aren’t a Disney Princess who needs coddling like in a romantic film, presumably? Why would you be crying and carrying on over this like a child?

Quite. Back in the day couples used to go and shop for the engagement ring together. She'd choose it, he'd get his wallet out. Men getting down on one knee whilst opening a velvet lined box only happened in films. This is all about Tik Tok or whatever no doubt.

Christmascaketime · 21/12/2025 15:34

Total overreaction. Why did you open something not for you. It could have been earrings or a necklace etc.
If he proposes that’s what you’ll remember.
Myself and Dh had conversation and decided to get married in McDonalds, no engagement ring. Married 25 years. Zero regrets.

figud · 21/12/2025 15:35

I don’t think the driver should have commented on the contents of a package - especially this close to Christmas - reminds me, in a different way, of how a delivery driver delivering a wooden toy kitchen to me and realising it had the image on the front was guarding/shielding it with his life in case my daughter came out. It really was sweet and funny.

Sorry this happened, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not a massive deal. Congratulations for when the time comes 💍

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