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Original poster

Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

294 replies

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

OP posts:
ARCmummy · 22/12/2025 18:54

I say this with the best intentions; I have been married twice 🙈 if this needs to be magical for it to work, then I would recommend going to therapy as I assure you with the most love in the world, it is all anticlimactic and the best marriages are based on emotional regulation, hard graft and keeping things real.
x x

MMAS · 22/12/2025 18:55

Well there is always the eternity ring to consider. He did his best ........ he got you exactly what you wanted. I think, what you are actually saying, is you both never got the chance to have it romantically given to you. Now it is up to you to either keep it, send it back and find another. If you loved it the first time, then it comes with a story you have to tell your children and grandchildren. Is that not lovely in itself.

Miniatureschnauzers · 22/12/2025 19:02

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 15:31

Thanks all. Tbf we both did laugh afterwards and yes the delivery guy did say it was from Ernest Jones and Gold of a high value, plus the sticker on the front said Ernest Jones. My partner was stood behind me at the door peed off when he realised what was happening. So unfortunately it isn't made up, the delivery guy or store cocked up!

I actually agree it will be a funny story to tell, I just think we both wanted it to happen differently.

Also in response to those asking what my child or being a mother has to do with it, your right nothing but some lovely people on here are insinuating I must be a terrible mother because I was upset over this.

I 100% agree I overreacted but I don't agree that I'm not allowed to feel a bit disappointed.

I get this, you wanted to feel that “surprise” moment… that makes sense. What I would do is now ask him to hide it and not mention it again… and then it will still be a surprise, you won’t know when, where, how he will propose and also stop yourself from looking at the ring online so that will sort of still be a surprise. And to your DP… don’t do it in the expected way; keep her waiting a little bit; surprise her! It’s really lovely that he bought you the ring you wanted; hopefully there will be a bit of magic too in how he might propose. Enjoy now the waiting and not knowing when it will be!!

DoughBallss · 22/12/2025 19:06

You know about the ring but the proposal can still be a surprise. You have no idea what, when or how he plans to do it

I don’t see the issue, it’s not like the actual proposal has been ruined.

Rafting2022 · 22/12/2025 19:25

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

Don’t often see the words expensive and Ernest Jones in the same sentence!

TheAutumnCrow · 22/12/2025 19:26

Rafting2022 · 22/12/2025 19:25

Don’t often see the words expensive and Ernest Jones in the same sentence!

Show quote history

Are Rolex watches ‘cheap’?

VK456 · 22/12/2025 19:30

PersephoneParlormaid · 21/12/2025 13:59

I’ve never understood the whole waiting to be asked thing, just wear the ring and plan your future

Edited

Nor me. Once you’ve agreed between you that you’re going to marry, you’re henceforth engaged surely?

anon666 · 22/12/2025 19:50

Just go with the flow. In terms of an engagement its an unusual one, but as long as you take it in your stride, you'll laugh in years to come.

Allmarbleslost · 22/12/2025 19:53

You really need to get over yourself. Utterly ridiculous.

Power26 · 22/12/2025 20:17

To be honest I don’t think the delivery person didn’t anything wrong. This is all on your husband. High value jewellery doesn’t get bunged up with the rest of the parcels delivered randomly - there’s usually a special delivery process where your partner would have been made aware of the delivery date and a delivery timeslot? It would have been fully tracked and traceable?

So knowing that the ring was arriving that day, he could have made arrangements to, you know - open the door himself? Instead of him being stood behind you accepting the delivery with a shocked pikachu face?

the delivery person was just doing their job, in terms of putting off item not received claims etc.

BadgernTheGarden · 22/12/2025 20:20

Just get engaged what on earth is the delay for?

sweetgingercat · 22/12/2025 20:26

Be a modern woman and discuss and agree with your other half, rather than be a reward that someone has to go down on one knee for. Otherwise you risk becoming a bridezilla in waiting...

Kassalah · 22/12/2025 21:01

As he was home, he should have been tracking the delivery and made it his priority to answer the door IMHO.

Switcher · 22/12/2025 21:04

Err. Good luck with marriage!

Agonyaunt53 · 22/12/2025 21:43

I'm not sure you're mature enough for marriage, based on your reaction to this minor mix up.

baorhausfrau · 22/12/2025 23:56

Grow up!

My husband and I decided we were getting married. I didn't really want an engagement ring and told him I'd just like a chunky wedding ring.

He worked out of town, so long distance. Suddenly I was being asked out at work, getting smiled at and chatted up.

Shock, horror, I went out and bought my own engagement ring. Sent him a picture and told him the background. We still laugh about it 36 years later.

Oh, and I bought a trilogy ring, two diamonds with a ruby in the middle.

Stopped getting askedout once I started wearing it.

Wooky073 · 23/12/2025 00:21

Stop with the wanting everything to be perfect …. You are setting yourself for a life(and marriage ) full of disappointment and dissatisfaction.

So what if it’s not a surprise - it wasn’t anyway as you went to try on rings. Focus on the bigger things… like the marriage , wedding and a life together. This is a first world issue and relatively minor in the grand scheme of life. Just make the best of things as they are - maybe start gratitude journaling to help gain a different perspective. I’m probably sounding harsh, yoh are probably young and I am older and have lived. My advice is just crack on with it

neighboursmustliveon · 23/12/2025 01:29

I’m baffled by this. You have both discussed that you will be getting married at some point in the future so you know what? You are ENGAGED!

Yes you now know the ring rather than getting the surprise of him opening the box but given he had by the sounds of it about 3 options, it was never going to be a huge surprise was it?

Accept the ring on whichever day he planned to give it to you as the public show that you are planning to marry and continue planning the future you have clearly already started to do!

ItsTooEarlyForThis · 23/12/2025 07:33

Me and my now husband had been together 6 or 7 years, living together and joint finances. We’d had the conversations about the future, my friend had suggested looking at rings so I knew what style I wanted and then she could give him the heads up.
I saw the credit card bill 🙈 so I knew he’d bought a ring, and likely which one it was due the store name.
The proposal was about 6 months later, and unexpected at that specific time so still a huge surprise. It was a beautiful moment that I will treasure forever and I don’t feel at all like it was tainted because I knew he’d got the ring.
And it was 8 years ago now, so we’ve had the wedding and children since then too.

I know you feel sad and cheated now, but it’s still so fresh. Your DP may have already planned how to propose, he may not. Just tell him to carry on as planned and go with the flow. It will still be special.

Poppinjay · 23/12/2025 07:49

I would 100% say suck it up and allow him to actually surprise you with the engagement. -And be delighted he got the ring you liked!

How can he surprise her with an engagement? They are already engaged. He is just holding onto the ring to he can ask a question he already knows the answer to in a theatrical manner.

The issue isn't a proposal. That's been and gone. This is about her boyfriend buying her a ring he knows she likes (a lovely gesture) and the delivery bloke spoiling the surprise.

@Boymum2811 , my Christmas wish for you is that a few years down the line, you will be married to a man who still makes an effort to plan lovely surprises for you. That means so much more than a staged second proposal.

billiongulls · 23/12/2025 08:02

Life isn't a film. Wear the ring, enjoy it, forget the drama. Wishing you a happy marriage. Oh, and don't get too fussed about the wedding either, it's just a party really. Most people attending are a little bored, or even asked at how much it costing them to be there!

Puffins4eva · 23/12/2025 08:39

Get over it !

LadyLolaRuben · 23/12/2025 09:05

Cant believe what ive just read. Talk about 1st world problems.

Gossipisgood · 23/12/2025 09:38

If you've discussed marriage already then it's no surprise he'll propose. He can still plan something special for you & 'surprise' you on the day he decides to give you the ring. Not sure why you'd burst out crying or even consider taking the ring back. Just get engaged & plan for your future together.

MellersSmellers · 23/12/2025 10:46

It sounds like you are absolutely focussing too much on the Instagramable "will you marry me" moment. Get a grip! Leave it to him to bring it out when, and how, he wants and just celebrate the fact that you have both found someone that you love enough to spend your life with.