Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found my own engagement ring, what do I do?

294 replies

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

OP posts:
Paperinthewashingmachine · 23/12/2025 10:49

When hubby and I got engaged I picked my ring- we got married on a shoe string 18 years later I picked my replacement engagement ring X it's about you and him not just the moment X he is my one X that's all that matters x X X congratulations xxxx

Straycats · 23/12/2025 10:50

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 14:49

Goodness me! I definitely think a lot of you got out on the wrong side of the bed. I'm telling you a snippet of the story.

My partner was also genuinely upset. He WANTS it to be special, not finding out a ring I liked was delivered and basically blurted out wrongly by the Delivery guy.

Why would we not want it to feel special it's what we BOTH want..of course I know he would ask, of course I know we will get married eventually. But there a very few occasions in someone's life you get a special intimate moment like proposing. So yes I can totally get on board with overreacting but also who doesn't want to feel special and it be romantic and that's what he wants.

There really is some unhappy human beings on here, and to comment on someone having a child, look in the mirror, you are slating a mother over the internet.

Anyway thanks to those who understand a little about how I was feeling. I appreciate it.

Have a lovely day all!

This is what is wrong with OP, straight into blaming others instead of having a good hard look at yourself and taking on board other people’s comments.
Some of us having been married for yonks years can see the red flags in your comments and probably realise you’re not marriage compatible. Am married almost 40 years, never worried about the little things, didn’t bother with an engagement ring and yes hubby was happy when we then could afford a diamond ring, I said no.

thegrinchwasontosomething · 23/12/2025 10:52

This kind of fairytale thinking around engagement and marriage is the reason so many marriages break up and people end up posting on here when their prince has turned into a frog!

Sorry OP- not having a go at you personally. It’s the whole Industry around romance and marriage that makes people think it all has to be Instagramable.

An engagement should not be a surprise!

Darkdiamond · 23/12/2025 15:07

Straycats · 23/12/2025 10:50

This is what is wrong with OP, straight into blaming others instead of having a good hard look at yourself and taking on board other people’s comments.
Some of us having been married for yonks years can see the red flags in your comments and probably realise you’re not marriage compatible. Am married almost 40 years, never worried about the little things, didn’t bother with an engagement ring and yes hubby was happy when we then could afford a diamond ring, I said no.

Show quote history

Do you know how many women have also been married for a long time and who had an engagement ring? My mother has been married longer than you and told me it was important for her to have an engagement ring that she liked; it wasn't fancy but it was special to her. You aren't extra committed because you don't care about jewellery and you can't tell if someone isnt compatible with marriage because they like sparkly things.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 11:34

HoppityBun · 21/12/2025 14:06

Buckle up for the hen night and wedding arrangement dramas, because they’re clearly going to be epic.

Show quote history

🍿 👀

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 11:47

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 14:49

Goodness me! I definitely think a lot of you got out on the wrong side of the bed. I'm telling you a snippet of the story.

My partner was also genuinely upset. He WANTS it to be special, not finding out a ring I liked was delivered and basically blurted out wrongly by the Delivery guy.

Why would we not want it to feel special it's what we BOTH want..of course I know he would ask, of course I know we will get married eventually. But there a very few occasions in someone's life you get a special intimate moment like proposing. So yes I can totally get on board with overreacting but also who doesn't want to feel special and it be romantic and that's what he wants.

There really is some unhappy human beings on here, and to comment on someone having a child, look in the mirror, you are slating a mother over the internet.

Anyway thanks to those who understand a little about how I was feeling. I appreciate it.

Have a lovely day all!

"There really 'are' some unhappy human beings on here". Sorry 😐

Fwiw, I get it, the whole wanting it to feel special and it be perfect when you are proposed to. And for you DP too. It really is special for some.
Unlike how my DP and I got engaged where neither of us asked the other to marry them.
16 years later and still neither of us have asked the other to marry, I don't really class myself as engaged as I don't believe we'll ever marry (I have an engagement ring) and I don't particularly want to be his wife anymore but we have two DC so we are as good as married in a lot of ways really.

I hope it's still a magical experience for you and congratulations 🥂

RachelBerry03 · 27/12/2025 19:24

Boymum2811 · 21/12/2025 13:55

My partner and I have discussed marriage quite a lot and I know he'll ask in the near future. We went shopping a few months ago and ended up in a jewelers, and I saw an amazing ring I liked, for a bit of fun I tried it on with a couple of others as I'd never really known what would suit me and thought it was harmless fun and if he knows my size plus an idea now of what I might like, then it's much easier for him to choose something, in the future.

Fast forward to 2 days ago a delivery guy knocked on the door, asked me to sign for a parcel and HE TOLD ME "it needs signing for, because it's expensive gold from Ernest Jones" firstly what an absolute Twt for telling me, but also my other half what a Twt for not being more discreet.

There was 1 rings I loved and that was wherr it was from, I burst out crying as obviously the surprise was ruined :( he was also gutted and fuming this happened and has put a complaint in and was told all packaging was discreet.

Do I accept that the surprise is now out of the bag and just leave it to my partner decide what to do about it, or do I tell him to send it back and then just leave things to happen naturally. It just doesn't feel special anymore, like this to me should be an exciting special moment for us both, but we're both left feeling upset and flat about it.

Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy he's made such an effort to consider what I wanted.

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing!

Yes you’re overreacting. Seriously, grow up. Marriage is a lifetime commitment which is about far more than ‘ the perfect proposal’.

Katie0909 · 27/12/2025 21:46

I know you are disappointed now but it will make a great story to tell people how the courier proposed to you! We should also celebrate the fact that a courier company managed to deliver it to the right address - it can't have been Evri.

Niktok · 27/12/2025 22:17

there are people dying, Kim

MrsACC · 27/12/2025 23:08

Nothing to be conflicted over, you over reacted. You knew it was coming anyway. Don’t let such minor issues ruin the more important things to come in your future!

Filmouse · 28/12/2025 07:27

Agree with others this wont matter in the future but may even part of a lovely story how you got engaged . Congratulations.

Jesslovesengineering · 28/12/2025 08:22

First world problems.

Fionuala · 28/12/2025 08:40

Sorry but u need 2 griw up a bit.
This is the kind of cock up life and love throws at us.
You guy bought u a ring.
Be glad.

mini182 · 28/12/2025 08:54

He needs to run 🤦🏻‍♀️

pouletvous · 28/12/2025 09:37

stick the ring on. It’s w funny story

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/12/2025 09:38

How on earth would a delivery driver know what was in the package?

Coulddowithanap · 28/12/2025 12:32

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/12/2025 09:38

How on earth would a delivery driver know what was in the package?

That's what I was thinking. And also did you open the parcel that wasn't addressed to you because you knew it was jewellery and wanted to see what your partner had ordered?

Whatafliberty · 30/12/2025 18:56

What is wrong with you?

IdaGlossop · 31/12/2025 23:48

This could so easily be reframed. The delivery 'mishap' doesn't matter a jot. OP knows what the ring looks like, having chosen it herself. It can't be a surprise ruined because there is no surprise as far as the ring is concerned. Neither will the proposal be a surprise because OP and her partner have been shopping for engagement rings.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page