People who became a Mum at 36 and over

[sadatchristmastime1]

I've just turned 35 and am really struggling with being so single and childless. I have been in tears over it multiple times, I am sick of seeing threads all about how fertility is rubbish at 35 and over, such as the one recently where a mother said she was worried her 35 yo daughter wouldn't ever have kids, it makes me feel so so sad. I have tried to meet someone, it hasn't worked out and I feel like I'm facing a future where I may as well not be here. I have wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember and having been on the dating apps almost constantly since I was 30, I'm loosing hope.

A friend of mine who was in the position has recently met someone and it feels like she's going off into the sunset with her new love and to her new life and I feel like things can only get worse from here as I now have nobody who can relate to me or I can relate to.

I really want to hear from people who conceived naturally and easily from 36, because realistically I'm unlikely to have a baby at 35... I don't want to hear things like 'freeze your eggs' 'adopt' as I'm not in a position for either of these. I would also find it financially tough on my own, so also not an option at the moment.

I just feel like a black cloud surrounds me now because of this. :(

I'm sorry you're feeling crap. You can have fertility difficulties at any age. I had my first at 39, then at 40, 43 and 46. All healthy, all naturally conceived. I know I'm an outlier, but just to reassure you it's possible. Take care 🙂

Unplanned pregnancy at 36 and pregnant 1st month of trying at 39. Healthy pregnancies and babies. It is possible!

I conceived at first attempt at 36 and 39, DP being 10 years older.

38 for first 40 for second. I conceived quickly and had very straightforward births at home- planned that way I mean! Met their father when I was 36!

I became a mum at 36 and a half. I struggled to conceive at age 34-35 but then after my first pregnancy my fertility was by surprise much better. I got pregnant from very occasional sex with DH twice at 37-38. One of these pregnancies was a mc and one became my DD who has born when I was close to 39.

I had my DC at 36 and 39. Neither were planned and we weren’t trying.

I got pregnant when I had just turned 38 although sadly miscarried. I then became pregnant again 4 months later so definitely didn’t have any problem conceiving in my late 30’s.

I conceived as easily at 35 as I did at 25. Just one anecdote but it’s not necessarily a cliff edge for everyone- depends on the person.

I am never too sure about these posts but maybe because l didn't get the happy ending. There are billions of women in the world so you are bound to get success stories but there are plenty of us who didn't get pregnant- even those who started trying relatively young like me. You do not know how fertile you are until you start trying for a baby so l would not be basing any decisions on a snapshot of women who had babies aged 35 plus.

I conceived naturally at 36 whilst using condoms and only having sex around once a month as it was a difficult time so my libido had dropped off for a while.
Still managed to fall pregnant!!
My DH has had the snip now because it was a big shock and we had to discuss whether to continue with the pregnancy.
I'm glad i did because she's brought me so much joy and I couldn't imagine life without her!!
But we won't ever be relying on just condoms ever again!

So many of my friends didn't even start their families until they were 35+...and went on to have 2 or 3 babies, no issues.

I had my first at 33, second at 35 and I just got pregnant with my third at 37. Both children I got pregnant on the first go and this third child was not planned! We actually completely avoided the ovulation period and I still got pregnant so hopefully that eases some of your worry! 😅 To have the best chance, try and keep physically healthy, don’t smoke and eat as few UPF type foods as possible. It might be worth booking yourself in for a fertility test too just to ease your worries ❤️

Most of my mum friends had their first in their late 30s - one was 42, and 45 with her 2nd. No IVF. I was 39 and 41 - 1st took 20 months and I thought maybe it wouldn't happen, but it did naturally and my second was conceived on the first try.

I know there's a lot out there to worry about this that and the other but stats are true for some people - it's not a true prediction of what it's like for many people

I was 36 with my first (first try) and 38 with my second (two months of trying properly, one where we had sex once). I didn’t think I even wanted kids on my 35th birthday. Lots of my friends were the same. Only two had any difficulty conceiving — one had IVF and now has three children, the other didn’t and had one naturally. Most of the others have two, like me. Suddenly changed my mind when I was 35.5! I think it’s a common pattern.

Every bit of good luck to you!

I had my first son at 26. Then when I was 33 , conceived first month trying, when I had my daughter, fell pregnant and miscarried at 36 then fell pregnant again the next month and had our son.
A lot of my friends had their babies at similar ages to me and some older.
Good luck xx

Fertility only starts to decline it doesn’t stop. I was 39 with mine. Conceived naturally with in few months and without paying any attention to ovulation cycle. I know several over 40 first time mothers

Not exactly the same as you OP but am 34yo been trying for a year and now discovered I have serious endometriosis affecting fertility.

Good to hear all these stories - my slightly different tip would be to ensure that you know whats going on with your reproductive organs. I have painless endo so had no idea. But when/if you do want to start it will be stressful to discover something which could delay you even more. So you could investigate in the meantime and then whatever you decide you won't be starting from square 1.

Good luck OP, I sympathise. I think change is good for finding a partner - travel, try new things, move somewhere else etc. Change needs change.