People who became a Mum at 36 and over

[sadatchristmastime1]

I've just turned 35 and am really struggling with being so single and childless. I have been in tears over it multiple times, I am sick of seeing threads all about how fertility is rubbish at 35 and over, such as the one recently where a mother said she was worried her 35 yo daughter wouldn't ever have kids, it makes me feel so so sad. I have tried to meet someone, it hasn't worked out and I feel like I'm facing a future where I may as well not be here. I have wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember and having been on the dating apps almost constantly since I was 30, I'm loosing hope.

A friend of mine who was in the position has recently met someone and it feels like she's going off into the sunset with her new love and to her new life and I feel like things can only get worse from here as I now have nobody who can relate to me or I can relate to.

I really want to hear from people who conceived naturally and easily from 36, because realistically I'm unlikely to have a baby at 35... I don't want to hear things like 'freeze your eggs' 'adopt' as I'm not in a position for either of these. I would also find it financially tough on my own, so also not an option at the moment.

I just feel like a black cloud surrounds me now because of this. :(

I conceived accidentally at 39! Healthy pregnancy and health child.

I had my first baby at 34 and second at 37 yrs old.

I had my first at 36 and second at almost 40, both conceived naturally after 6 months/1 year

I was 39 and 41 with my two. I understand how you feel as I was the last in my main friend group to marry and have DC.
But during my pregnancies I was surrounded by women my age and above who were just starting their families - it really isn’t too late.
One of my friends started two years after me and had two DDs with a small age gap and zero issues.
‘The 35 cliff edge for fertility’ can be so unhelpful I feel as although we need to be aware as women it creates panic where it really may not be needed- we are all different and plenty of women can and will conceive into 40s .

It's possible for life and circumstances to change for the better. I was 37 our first, 39 for 2nd and 41 for youngest. Sending you hope and good wishes.

Met dh at 36, TTC at 37. Pregnant after first week of trying.

Ds2 at 41. He took 8 months to conceive.

I was 38 when I had DC2. I joke we were trying for 20 minutes. We had a conversation, I consulted the calendar and off we went

Fertility rates are an average, some will be longer, some will be quicker.

35 and 39 here. Both conceived naturally 6 months the first time, 2 months the second time. No tracking cycles or paying out for ovulation tests. Started folic acid and tried to have sex once or twice a week. Aware lots have a different story to tell.

My last 39 had a single, 40 had twins, 42 had twins...plus all the older ones before my first I was 25 never had a problem fortunately and I'm almost 43 love my family life....Several in my mother and baby groups are over 44-46 and apart from one all got pregnant normally...I think it's more common these days later pregnancies than years ago tbh

Thank you so much for your stories. I will be bookmarking and re reading when I'm feeling bad (which tbh, is a hell of a lot atm!) I'm sick to death of reading the doom and gloom stories such as the ones on recent threads. I'm not kidding myself in that it would have been better to have a baby in my early thirties rather than my late, but it just has not happened for me despite trying to find a relationship! And of course some women struggle to conceive after 35, but how do we know that they also wouldn't have before that if they weren't trying?

Thanks for making me feel slightly more positive. The ones who write the comments about fertility being rubbish 35 and over are probably already mothers and smug about it.

In Louise Foxcroft's book about the menopause, 'Hot flushes, cold science ', she says that patterns of menstruation, childbearing and menopause are replicated from one generation of women to the next. It's worth thinking about whether women in your family have had babies later in life. If they have, you should be able to too. There is also consistency of experience for individual women, she says. Problem-free periods are likely to mean problem-free pregnancies and menopause. The reverse is also true - heavy, irregular periods point to troublesome pregnancy and menopause.

First kid at 36. Literally only took 1 cycle! Couldnt bloody believe it - I was prepared for a long journey, but nope. We used cheap hormone testing sticks to see when I was ovulating, and it worked like a charm. What I will say though, is that I abstained from all chemical contraception for years prior, and I'm glad I did. (Had a copper coil which worked well for us instead).

I met my now DH when I was 36 1/2. After about six months of dating, we both knew we were pretty serious about each other. We discussed the future, and decided to try for a baby – this was about three months before my 38th birthday. Fell pregnant quickly. Had DC1 when I was 38 1/2, and had DC2 few months after my 41st birthday.

We would have probably waited longer to try for a family, but obviously my age was against us.

PG 4 times between 35 & 39. All conceived naturally.

Both my Mum and my Gran were late 40's/50 when they were in meno. But my Gran's Mother had a child in her early forties, as did my grandad's (not sure the male side is factored in here though)

I had my first at 38 and currently pregnant with second at 40. Went through IVF. Got to it late as took a while to find ‘the one’ always said I would never just have kids for the sake of it and wait until I found someone I could parent with and loved deeply. I was lucky to find him just in time.

At 35 I had just come out of a long relationship. Met my now DH at 37. Warned him that if we wanted a family we’d need to crack on with that rather than faff around getting married. Had DC1 at 39, conceived the month after my coil came out. DC2 at 42 again really quickly. Delay was caused by my indecision about a second not conception failure.

I’ll be 36/37. Don’t lose hope. I didnt meet my person until I was 34.

I met my now husband late 34.

I have regular cycles and no major weirdness / problems in terms of periods so hoped i'd be okay (and was)

First baby at 38 (3rd or 4th cycle)
Second at 40 (first try! 😵‍💫).

1st at 36, 2nd few weeks before 42nd birthday. Both under 2 months of trying.

My mother had 2 - at 37 and 40. Total amateur at the job though. My aunt managed 3 between 39 and 42! My grandmother had her last ( of 12) at 41.

Oh and my niece had her only child at 45.

Not ‘freeze your eggs’ but have your fertility tested, which is much cheaper, to face the reality of the situation - you’ll probably find it reassuring. Live your life based on facts, not worries.

Same for me ! Both conceived within a month of two of no contraception. My DD ( 34) has been very unusual amongst her friendship group by having her first at 31 and second at 33, after getting married at 27. In the last year there have been a lot of weddings and now announcements of pregnancies.

37. One shot baby.

I had DS2 at nearly 41, he was my 9th pg conceived naturally on my 4th cycle of trying. I had him in my own but was fortunate enough to be able to finance the first few years of his life.

My obstetric record is abysmal so it wasn't plain sailing to get where I did