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Original poster

People who became a Mum at 36 and over

192 replies

sadatchristmastime1 · 20/12/2025 13:25

I've just turned 35 and am really struggling with being so single and childless. I have been in tears over it multiple times, I am sick of seeing threads all about how fertility is rubbish at 35 and over, such as the one recently where a mother said she was worried her 35 yo daughter wouldn't ever have kids, it makes me feel so so sad. I have tried to meet someone, it hasn't worked out and I feel like I'm facing a future where I may as well not be here. I have wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember and having been on the dating apps almost constantly since I was 30, I'm loosing hope.

A friend of mine who was in the position has recently met someone and it feels like she's going off into the sunset with her new love and to her new life and I feel like things can only get worse from here as I now have nobody who can relate to me or I can relate to.

I really want to hear from people who conceived naturally and easily from 36, because realistically I'm unlikely to have a baby at 35... I don't want to hear things like 'freeze your eggs' 'adopt' as I'm not in a position for either of these. I would also find it financially tough on my own, so also not an option at the moment.

I just feel like a black cloud surrounds me now because of this. :(

OP posts:
ChocoFroggie · 21/12/2025 04:56

Fell pregnant naturally at 41 for the first time.

TinyHousemouse · 21/12/2025 05:04

I was 37 when we had a complete U-turn on wanting children, and fell pregnant almost immediately. Almost everyone I know had their children in their late 30s and when I look around me at nursery pick up I definitely don’t feel like the other mums are a lot younger than me. I have a friend who had her first at 40 and second at 42, conceived naturally. Try not to let all the “fertility drops off a cliff” stuff worry you OP, anecdotally where I live it certainly doesn’t seem to be the case!

Loobylu66 · 21/12/2025 05:16

I conceived my first and only child at age 36, had him just before my 37 birthday. Actually conceived him on or a day or two after my wedding night.
I had a difficult pregnancy though I had both complete placenta previa and placenta accreta and spent the final 4 months in hospital due to a massive bleed and they thought it was safer to monitor me as we lived in Abu Dhabi at the time.

Flowerhavana · 21/12/2025 05:20

I met my husband on OLD at 35, I had my first child at 37 & second at 39. I had been single & using dating apps for many years & was starting to think it would never happen. Don’t lose hope. Good luck

nc43214321 · 21/12/2025 10:28

I was 36 no trouble conceiving… my friend has had 3 babies from 36-40, all conceived no problem. It’s just finding the right man that’s the issue.

TaraRhu · 22/12/2025 15:18

Happyg1rl71 · 20/12/2025 13:36

I had my first at 35 (took 1 month to conceive) and my second at 39 (took 3 months to conceive). One of my friends had a baby with no issues at 45. There is still hope.

Me too. Conceived at 35 first time. At 39 in 3 months. No issues at all. Two of my friends had 3rd last year at 42. Again no issues. Honestly, I don't think it's as hard as then media want you to think.

OhamIreally · 23/12/2025 07:31

I conceived naturally at 40 wasn’t actually trying. Gave birth at 41.

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 24/12/2025 07:34

Met my DH at 36 OLD at 36, had kids at 39 and 41. Two things: when you are older, things can fall into place much faster, and date outside your type. DH is not who I thought I would go for in a million years but it works.

Seaoftroubles · 24/12/2025 07:46

I conceived at 38 (without trying) after a gap of 6 years when l had my daughter. Funnily enough so did my sister, and my own daughter conceived twins naturally at that age too. Don't despair, you still have plenty of time.

Comtesse · 25/12/2025 10:34

36 and 39 for me, and I have endometriosis too.

Hdpr · 25/12/2025 12:57

I had 3 children from the age of 35. When I was 34 I was single and panicking, met DP a few months later. It can happen OP, keep dating and also don’t rule out having a baby on your own if need ls be

Iris2020 · 25/12/2025 15:12

Had mine at 42 and 44 with no issues at all, pregnant immediately despite older DH. Age is only one of many factors.
I hope things work out for you.

SecretWitch · 25/12/2025 16:10

Had my first at 32 and my last at 42. My last pregnancy was the easiest, very little morning sickness. My first was born six weeks early but needed only a week in the hospital before going home

ForeverHopeful3 · 25/12/2025 17:09

I just turned 34 a few weeks ago, got out of a toxic relationship in May and have been single since then.

I too was going crazy like you, worried about my future, having kids, finding love, yada yada yada. I was on the dating apps and while I met a few men, none of them did it for me and I eventually deleted the apps in August, FOR GOOD, becase my husband is going to have to find me organically. I can not deal with the low level turds on the apps.

My advice to you is: get off the apps and I know its really hard, but, please stop stressing yourself out over what the future holds and doesn't hold.

I've cried soooo many times, for months, but I've recently accepted the fact that God is in control of all our timelines, He's always been in control and will always be in control, so we need to learn to be patient while waiting on His perfect timing.

If you want to be a wife and a mom, you will be. But you don't want that with the wrong man, and we are past the age of wasting any more time with losers. We can't afford another loser.

So delete apps -> find a hobby you enjoy and can do at least once a week, and try volunteering or spending time with friends and family so your mind doesn't go into that negative headspace.

I'm unfortunate that I don't really have any friends, so it was very tough for me. But I picked horse back riding and its been a blast, and I've been living at the gym practically so I'm in the best shape of my life as a result of the breakup as well.

It will be okay! We are going to get the life we imagine and there's no need to go crazy while waiting for it. Enioy the time you have to yourself for now!!!

antipodeansun · 25/12/2025 17:27

It took us a year and half to conceive DC1 (born when I was 38) and I had 2 miscarriages at 39 and 40. DC2 born just after I turned 41. @They are now healthy 15 and 12 year old kids. And I had easy pregnancies and no issues whatsoever- recovered, breastfed etc just like younger women.

It was/is my 2nd marriage- the disastrous 1st marriage (with absolutely no thought of having children) ended when I was 32.

CortieTat · 25/12/2025 17:28

OP, don’t read the gloom and doom stories. Look up the statistics, the age of first time mothers is steadily going up in the developed world, you are definitely not an outlier. I had my first two when I was over 34 and my third at 47. All spontaneous pregnancies, the last one took a while but then fertility does decline, not at 35 but after 42. I had very easy, straightforward healthy pregnancies and home deliveries too.

All my friends have had their children in their mid and late thirties. It is absolutely possible to start falling apart already in your thirties but it really depends on lifestyle choices.

ILoveMyCaravan · 25/12/2025 17:32

I had severe endometriosis, fibroids and a bicornuate uterus. I became pregnant at 37. Second child at 40. Please don’t lose hope, it’s still possible. I didn’t meet my future husband until I was 34, and that was very unexpected, I wasn’t looking for anyone.

mugglewump · 25/12/2025 18:23

I met my DP at 36. Had my first child a month before my 39th birthday and the second one at 41. Both conceived naturally without any issues. You will be fine.

lifehappens12 · 25/12/2025 18:32

I left my husband at age 35. After a period of time on my own I started dating. Met an amazing man and we decided to start a future together. I fell pregnant at 38 and had my first son at 39 and second son at 42.

i won’t lie - the first baby took 7 months to conceive and second a year and some heartbreak but I hve had the best Christmas Day with my boys today

Mayflower282 · 25/12/2025 18:38

How many dates have you been on? My friend met her husband after more than 40 dates this year, she’s in late 30’s. I think you need to get out there and meet people.

Heathotstuff · 25/12/2025 18:43

I looking at IVf at 42 - been told ages are going up and up for IVF as well - more women want career sorted first! I know someone twins no ivf at 47

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 25/12/2025 18:47

My DH's aunt married at 33 and had her first and only baby at 41. She had a lot of trouble conceiving her, but she got there in the end. She bled heavily in the first few weeks and she thought that was it and that her chances were all gone. I don't know the specific issues she had and it's not my business, but I do know her DH was always flying places. He was never in the same place for more than a week at a time, so it was probably that he kept missing her ovulation window, which I'd personally be so angry about, but each to their own.

There is hope and I wish you all the best xx

WolfFoxHare · 25/12/2025 18:57

Met DH when I was 34, pregnant when I was 35, had DS when I was 36. Still very happily married over a decade later. We both wanted kids and knew we didn’t want to wait, though I’m sure some people thought we were being too hasty.

funnybonz · 25/12/2025 19:17

36 with DS conceived first month trying, 39 with DD conceived 2nd month trying x

Edited to say DP and I got together when we were 33.

StanleyR38 · 25/12/2025 19:25

Met someone at 38, almost 39, and I had my first child at 40.
Unfortunately me and that someone have basically called it quits today, me being almost 42.
I think because of my age I dropped my guard a bit as I thought I was overly picky and maybe was conscious of time running out. Weird position to be in now having DC but questioning those choices with that person at the start of the relationship.