People who became a Mum at 36 and over

[sadatchristmastime1]

I've just turned 35 and am really struggling with being so single and childless. I have been in tears over it multiple times, I am sick of seeing threads all about how fertility is rubbish at 35 and over, such as the one recently where a mother said she was worried her 35 yo daughter wouldn't ever have kids, it makes me feel so so sad. I have tried to meet someone, it hasn't worked out and I feel like I'm facing a future where I may as well not be here. I have wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember and having been on the dating apps almost constantly since I was 30, I'm loosing hope.

A friend of mine who was in the position has recently met someone and it feels like she's going off into the sunset with her new love and to her new life and I feel like things can only get worse from here as I now have nobody who can relate to me or I can relate to.

I really want to hear from people who conceived naturally and easily from 36, because realistically I'm unlikely to have a baby at 35... I don't want to hear things like 'freeze your eggs' 'adopt' as I'm not in a position for either of these. I would also find it financially tough on my own, so also not an option at the moment.

I just feel like a black cloud surrounds me now because of this. :(

I married DH when I was 36 and had a baby within a year. So it can happen.

My mum had me when she was 42. She had only met and married my Dad a few years before. I was 38 and 41 when i had my two. About 6 months to conceive each (though i did have two miscarriages in between). You’re not that old.

36 and 39 - first time with both. Yes it’s less easy, but still very possible. x

I know it's hard to believe, but you do really still have time. I met my partner at 35 1/2, got pregnant when I just turned 38 on the 2nd cycle, then currently pregnant with our 2nd - conceived on 7th cycle aged 40 1/2.

My first at 36 and second at 39 naturally.

My friend is 42 and also never met anyone despite trying and so has decided to have a baby solo via a sperm donor.

She did freeze some eggs about 5-6 years ago as started to think about this and wanted younger eggs, so is going to use those eggs as opposed to her current ones if that makes sense.

Met my person at 35, conceived DS at 38 after only 2 months of tracking my cycle. Don’t lose hope, I think it’s a vicious circle because the more keen (desperate) you are to meet someone it may come across in how you are just by the way you put pressure onto the situation. Easy to say but try not to let it consume you, you are more likely to meet someone if you’re more relaxed about it happening.

Immediately conceived at 35 - first month of trying. But everyone is different, but just proving it can happen.

I had my third naturally at 38. My friend had her second naturally at 42, my granny was 44 when she had my uncle. DH has a client who had a baby naturally in her early fifties (a but of a surprise!). I know numerous other women who had babies naturally in their late 30s, early 40s. There is still plenty of time 😊 Would you consider a donor at some point? I know it's not for everyone but it's an option.

My grandma had her seventh and final child when she was 42. When i had my child there were mums at baby group who were well into their thirties. I hope that reading people's replies brings you hope and comfort and that things work out for you.

My grandma had her seventh and final child when she was 42. When i had my child there were mums at baby group who were well into their thirties. I hope that reading people's replies brings you hope and comfort and that things work out for you.

I got pregnant naturally at 36. It took all of two months.

You still have plenty of time.

Maybe you could start thinking about how to go it alone, and how you could do that financially? A friend of mine took that route, it has worked out well for her. She has two now, very happy.

First child at 35, second at 38. I had given up all hope of being a mum due to previous problems.

I was so worried about it as well, the uncertainty is awful. Went through a year or so with a partner where I was very ready to go for it and he was hesitant, that was horrible. One month I just had to have a massive breakdown about it all and properly imagine my life without kids. I found it helpful to face the reality head on and plan how that would look. Anyway, six months on things started to change with him and I’ve literally just found out I’m pregnant after 4 months of trying. Early days, high chance of miscarriage still, but I’m relieved to find out things roughly work in that area. I’m 37.

I remember feeling like my body was screaming at me sometimes, especially when I was single in my 30s. I didn’t want to be so desperate about it, I would tell myself to find other things to care about, but there was this unconscious, uncontrollable need. I also had the experience during that time of one friend in particular who I’d been very close to moving super quickly from dating to moving in and pregnant (like, three months from meeting to pregnant), and just disappearing like our friendship meant nothing. That hurt. Usually I was happy for friends who got pregnant but that was such a rejection.

The oldest successful (and unintended!) pregnancy I personally know of was at 46.

37, 39 and 41 - in fact the third was unplanned/a lovely surprise.

35 with my first and 39 with my second

2 of my friends met their now husbands on their late 30’s and both had two children in their early forties. It can happen.

Gran had first of six at 36!

My mum had me at 38. I was definitely a surprise!

I was fortunate to conceive first time at 37 and 39. It can happen. X

Ah OP, I was like you too. I remember countless sleepless nights thinking of a future without meeting someone and having a child. I had a merry go round of awful Peter Pan type men to contend with. Anyway, I got together with someone eventually and conceived straight away aged 40- gave birth days before my 41st. I really hope it happens for you, try not to lose hope

Almost everyone I know was mid to late 30’s. Don’t let old school thinking make you feel bad. Yeah fertility can start to decline but it’s a total
crap shoot every month anyway. Stressing about a timeline isn’t a positive conception helper. Take a breath you have time.

I had my first at 34 and my second at 37. Lots of my friends had their first between the age of 35 and 42, and often had more than one. We're all pretty late bloomers I guess 😅 I'm not saying that science is wrong about fertility, just that it isn't uncommon to have kids later in life. The satistics represent the population as a whole, not your individual case. If you want to get a better idea of your fertility and where you're at, you can get some tests done maybe? ❤️

I conceived naturally at 38 and 43. Second one was not planned! So yes, it absolutely does happen.

Met my dh at 35 - first baby at 37 followed by second on my 40th bday