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Original poster

Lied about his age - sackable offence?

824 replies

Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 07:54

Been seeing a guy for nearly 2 months. Met online, his age was 48 on his profile. I am 36, I generally have no issue with guys being a bit older, in fact have always dated men older than me.

First date was actually on his birthday which I didn’t realise until the day itself, he said he was 48 ON his birthday but the app changed to 49. I asked him about it and he said no, he was 48, so I assumed it was an error on the app. One year, no biggie.

However, I did a google search the other day out of curiosity, given I am getting a bit more invested and wanted to just check everything checks out, everything going well and I really like him - Seems mutual and we both want something serious. He is listed as a director for something on companies house, birth year 1971 which makes him 54!! Definitely him as the company tallies up with what he told me, his name isn’t common and month was correct.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off about this?! I get shaving a few years off for the app, but fess up straight away surely, especially when I asked him directly about it and he lied. I get it may be an insecurity thing but it’s not so much the age that’s an issue but the lying. It also means there is far more of a substantial age gap between us than I realised. FWIW he looks very good for his age!

I guess I’ll have to be the on to bring it up won’t I? And confess I was googling 😂 or is it likely companies house is wrong?!

OP posts:
Bettymakesadecision · 15/12/2025 08:45

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 07:52

tbh I don't really know how to respond even if I wanted to - I'm a bit freaked out. Maybe he has some kind of dementia 😂

Surely you just don’t respond?

Bettymakesadecision · 15/12/2025 08:45

MissDoubleU · 15/12/2025 07:51

I think he’s hoping he scared you with the ghosting so now you’ll just want him back. More manipulation.

This.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 08:46

He did finally address it. Have to go to court now so can’t post properly but it’s total gold 😂😂

OP posts:
Imdunfer · 15/12/2025 08:48

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 08:46

He did finally address it. Have to go to court now so can’t post properly but it’s total gold 😂😂

Oh come on!

You can NOT leave us in suspense like that 🤣🤣🤣

Balab · 15/12/2025 09:04

Imdunfer · 15/12/2025 08:48

Oh come on!

You can NOT leave us in suspense like that 🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

Indeed!!

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

OP posts:
Imdunfer · 15/12/2025 09:16

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm sure I'll get slammed for this, but I'm married to one and ND myself, he sounds autistic.

Franpie · 15/12/2025 09:18

That explanation would fuck me right off. No attempt at an explanation as to why he felt the need to apologise in the first place.

And you know what, I wouldn’t want to be with a man insecure about any aspect of themselves.

Surely the benefit of dating an older person of either sex is that they are comfortable in their own skin enough not to feel the need to lie about anything?

And the compartmentalising I couldn’t deal with either. Ignoring your message all weekend because he had his kids? Not good enough.

He sounds like a pompous prick OP.

TwistedWonder · 15/12/2025 09:18

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

What a ridiculous word salad just to say ‘I’m a liar and you caught me out’

Twat

Coffeeishot · 15/12/2025 09:19

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

What ! Oaft he sounds nuts and you have had a lucky escape.

RoamingToaster · 15/12/2025 09:21

His response is a bit dumb. He’s put in things about augmented photos etc that have no relevance. You directly asked him about his age so that makes that rule about 3 or 4 dates stupid.

What are you going to do?

Personally the not responding straightaway wouldn’t bother me like it does some. It’s more the lying about his age which is the issue.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/12/2025 09:22

Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing

So when he got to that point why didn’t he tell you then? You met five times you said?

MissDoubleU · 15/12/2025 09:23

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

As if he’s using “obviously some pictures may have filters on them so me lying directly to your face about my age until after we’ve been sexually intimate is the same thing”

the thing about an altered photo is you tend to get the idea when the real thing is in front of you. Informed decisions can be made. Exaggerating your job title or even your financial situation is a very, very different kind of lie than who you are. Saying you are much younger in order to get a much youn get woman into bed is vile manipulative behaviour and his waving it off and minimising it in this pseudo intellectualised way is gross.

Bettymakesadecision · 15/12/2025 09:27

The best response to this bat shit word salad as someone else has described it is absolute silence. Don’t even bother blocking him. It will drive him nuts.

TheRevengeOfMobina · 15/12/2025 09:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RoamingToaster · 15/12/2025 09:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Doesn’t quite work as well if he’s in his 50s 😂😂. He’s old for the OP but not about to drop down dead so you can inherit.

DropOfffArtiste · 15/12/2025 09:40

He is a liar, and pompous prick to boot. He thinks what he did was absolutely fine and will continue to lie to you or others where he sees advantage in it.

He thinks he has you where he wants you and you will turn a blind eye to this crap because the rest of the dating pool is so awful.

DropOfffArtiste · 15/12/2025 09:42

The 3-4 dates thing is nonsense. He didn't tell you the truth, you found him out. He may never have told you voluntarily.

Ohnobackagain · 15/12/2025 09:43

@Crumpet444 so a load of waffle and not remotely embarrassed? That would annoy me, too.

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/12/2025 09:45

Well aside from the fact he'd exceeded his own "3-4" dates timeline, it wasn't just a case of him keeping quiet until it came up organically; he actually lied to your face when you initially questioned his age. Thats unforgivable in my opinion. Also, is he taking a swipe at you and accusing you of having augmented photos? The way he says it's a given that people do this sounds as though he thinks you may have done so.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:49

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/12/2025 09:45

Well aside from the fact he'd exceeded his own "3-4" dates timeline, it wasn't just a case of him keeping quiet until it came up organically; he actually lied to your face when you initially questioned his age. Thats unforgivable in my opinion. Also, is he taking a swipe at you and accusing you of having augmented photos? The way he says it's a given that people do this sounds as though he thinks you may have done so.

yeah I thought that too potentially, I look like my photos, he told me I look better in real life (probably also a lie! 😂)

Also it's not the same thing and I don't agree with just normalising lying.

OP posts:
silkysoft · 15/12/2025 10:01

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 09:13

So he said this -

As to the question- it’s obviously very fair - and not sure I have an exact answer other than it would have been forthcoming obviously at some point soon. Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing. For those with whom I have done and discussed age they have come forward with various things they had either omitted or indeed stretched the truth on. Outdated or augmented photos are a given. In any regard unreserved apology for being dishonest about my age.

So essentially I have to earn my right to the truth. No acknowledgement of ignoring me all weekend.

It would have been forthcoming? wow how gracious of him, such a prince among men.

Typically I would have thought 3-4 dates which I think is when people generally feel they are sure enough footing

Er, no mate. Most people are honest from the start about themselves, also havent you already surpassed the 4th date and so this is yet another fucking lie isnt it?

What a disgusting specimen. Please, for the love of God OP dont go back to this loser. You will be in for a world of pain.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 10:08

It's really gross that he didn't think to bring it up before I slept with him, because I may not have wanted to have slept with a 54 year old man.

I'm not, I'm still reeling from the emotional roller coaster though 😂might have been better if he'd never responded!

OP posts:
Hendersso · 15/12/2025 10:11

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 10:08

It's really gross that he didn't think to bring it up before I slept with him, because I may not have wanted to have slept with a 54 year old man.

I'm not, I'm still reeling from the emotional roller coaster though 😂might have been better if he'd never responded!

Which is why he lied. It took him a whole weekend to right a wordy reply. When basically he could have owned it days ago. There is a reason he is single.

TwistedWonder · 15/12/2025 10:18

Crumpet444 · 15/12/2025 10:08

It's really gross that he didn't think to bring it up before I slept with him, because I may not have wanted to have slept with a 54 year old man.

I'm not, I'm still reeling from the emotional roller coaster though 😂might have been better if he'd never responded!

And he knows that which is why he lied.

His 3/4 dates is bollocks - you should be honest from the start and certainly before sex.

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