Is a man being bisexual a turn off?

[Username3021]

As a man I think im bisexual but when it comes to dating and being in relationships I only see myself with women, I also want a family someday also. Apparently lots of women are turned off by bisexual men where as a lot of men dont mind bisexual women, I also dont like the idea of hiding it from my future partner because I think your partner should know everything.

Would my sexuality be a problem?

'I would like a family one day also'

That has told me everything I need to know. Sounds like you're gay but want a woman to have your kids, while you go around satisfying your natural urges.

Women aren't human incubators.

Why can't you have a family with a man, and simply pay a woman to carry your children? Morally questionable but at least its honest.

The number of threads we see where the op's husband has suddenly realised hes actually gay, the minute she has given him the kids he wanted.

My first love was a bisexual man, it wasnt a problem and wasnt part of what broke us up. Now many years later my DH is also bisexual. If someone is going to cheat then they will, regardless of sexuality.

I think you are a decent person to be upfront with it to a likely partner. To be honest no I wouldn't want a relationship if someone said they were bi. But then no relationship is going to be straightforward.

@mumofoneAloneandwell im not gay, I love women and im not attracted to men in a romantic sort of way

I might date a bisexual man, but I certainly wouldn't marry one. I've seen a couple of marriages go awry when bi partner wants to reconnect with their bisexuality after several years of marriage

Major turn off for me. I wouldn’t even entertain it. To put it bluntly, bi-men like penises and I haven’t got one.

You saying you want a family one day makes me wonder whether you wouldnt consider a family as having two dads?

This line that its only sex with men has been used to convince women into such a situation forever - then suddenly, the guy realises he is gay after all

Thats why I would be careful in such a situation.

Yes for me it’s a turn off

I am probably too old for you to be interested in my opinion as I'm now 61 and have been married for 25 years .

However in case you are interested, in my 30s I did date a bisexual man. It was not a long relationship ( about 6 months) but whilst I found didn't care at all about the fact that he had slept with men in the past in terms of jealousy or any sort of ' disgust' it was in the mid 90s so HIV was a concern, though thay was easenough h to deal with as we had tests, used protection and agreed to be monogamous etc. In fact one of the best things about that relationship was the need for us to really communicate as he was honest up front about his sexuality. This meant I was forced to think about what I wanted and to communicate with him in a way I might not have, when roles are more normative and things are sort of expected and understood

I did start to worry though that he would not be able to give up sleeping with men for good. We also had different expectations, I had been married and divorceed by then and was looking for monogamy he was willing to do that as well but it became clear that in the long term he was hoping I would agree to something more open just wit regards to sex, he was always clear that ours would be the primary relationship and he was not looking for any other emotional intimacy, but and that was just not me, it still is not.

In the end we split up more because he could not really see himself in a long term monogamous relationship and I had started to worry that he would be unable to give up sex with men, effectively forever. That was just that specific relationship, maybe with someone else It would.have worked . So in effect I.woild have had no problem with a bisexuality man but my needs and desires are pretty heteronormative and so the man I choose to be with, needs to want the same things enough to give up sex with anyone else, not just intimacy.

I suppose.l my insecurities would make me wonder whether I would be enough for him to resist the temptation for sexual adventures after a long marriage . I know from experience how hard it is to be sexually faithful in a long marriage when you really are only interested in one sex, let alone when you are attracted to two.

For a fling or non serious relationship, I would have no problem with it at all though.

Nah, it's kind of hot, as we can fantasise together about men. I am fairly straight and don't want to be thinking about other women, I don't find their bodies sexy, so I'd rather be with a male partner and think about MMF threesomes !

A massive turn off for me

Depends on individual people would be my answer . Answering from a personal opinion , I would never knowingly what to be with someone bisexual and for both of our benefit would end a relationship early on if he told me .

Honestly? A complete turn off, yes. When I was on the apps I used to filter out anyone not heterosexual. I am simply not sexually attracted to men who have sex with men.

For reference, I am 36 and I’m pretty certain every single one of my female friends feels exactly the same way.

It’s not an issue for me. My ex was bi and it was a complete non-event in our relationship. If someone is inclined to cheat, their sexual orientation makes no difference. I’ve never understood the idea that being bi somehow increases the risk of infidelity.

If anything, I find the self-acceptance and confidence that openly bi men tend to have really attractive, and, in a way, more masculine.

It used to bother me. Then I met someone who blew my mind and told me shortly after we met he was bisexual.
It didn't last but it opened my eyes to sexuality a bit.
I then went onto to have another relationship with a bisexual man.
Both were the best, most beautifully honest relationships I've had, mostly because we felt comfortable enough to truly be ourselves without judgement.

Do you think there’s something wrong with men having sex with men? Your answer seems to suggest you do.

I also wonder why you think a man being bi increases the risk of STIs.

if someone isn’t attracted to bi men or women, fine. Your response sounded homophobic though which is not fine.

Who’s ‘they’? doing this saying.
As a woman who spent most of her youth in a females only boarding school, I can safely say I’m NOT bi to any degree at all. Please tell ‘them’ they’re incorrect.

Hard agree. The whole “every woman is a little bit bi” is the biggest crock of shite I have ever heard. I have never, not once, been remotely sexually attracted to another woman.

Can I appreciate a beautiful woman? Of course. Does that ever mean I want to perform sexual acts with her? Absolutely not.

Biphobic shit.

nobody who says they’d have a problem with a bisexual man has ever been able to give a reason that isn’t rooted in prejudice. And before anyone says it - no, nobody is obliged to date anyone they don’t want to. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t examine your reasons though and question why you think certain negative things about bisexual people.

This.

I was deceived for years and years. I never would have dated a bi man if I'd known, he was a liar and a cheat.

Be upfront and honest OP, it's always better that way even if it lessons the pool.

I’m the same age as you and I’m certain - because I’ve actually had this discussion with them - that every single one of my female friends would date a bi guy and think you’re biphobic. Must be the circles we move in.

No-one has to explain themselves to you - or anyone else. So please go away with your 'biphobic shit' accusation.

Same message to @BarbarasRhabarberba

nah. I’ll call out prejudice every time I see it. If you’re happy being discriminatory against certain demographics for no good reason that’s your prerogative but don’t expect not to have it pointed out to you.

“Biphobic” for having a sexual preference 😂😂