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Original poster

Christmas work do strop

297 replies

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:24

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

OP posts:
Horrorscope · 07/12/2025 16:24

Your house and your children so you should be able to kick him out and sever ties for good.

Wowcha · 07/12/2025 16:28

So you physically assaulted him and then he assaulted you back and then locked you out of the house - all whilst your kids were home!

FFS OP sort your life out this is disgusting!

And it’s a criminal offence to have domestic abuse around children, whether they witness violence or not.

You need to make a choice - your boyfriend or your kids.

You’ll either have your kids taken off you or you’ll fuck them up so bad that they will pay for it as adults and probably resent you both forever.

Is their dad involved?
Can he have full custody?

Wowcha · 07/12/2025 16:30

Siarli · 07/12/2025 16:00

Strop behaviour??? This is not stroppy behaviour its domestic violence. Taking just this one incident. He was very drunk coming home, you were annoyed and sober. You 'tapped' his face because you refused to sexually engage with him in the circumstances. No you didn't... you smacked him one! This escalated the situation and he went for you and went to hit you with a bottle of wine and threw you out outdoors into cold. Eventually you get back in and he leaves. Then you start trying to contact him and he doesnt respond. And so these situations repeat. And uou have young children! His or as I suspect not. You need to resolve this, this is a violent unsustainable relationship. People don't behave this way toward each other in a loving and stable relationship. You need to put your children first and end this toxic set up, its not strop behaviour is nasty abusive unstable and toxic, someone is going to get hurt. Im wondering also about the drinking and whether there isxz cilture of it in your home. You need to evaluate the kind of blokes you bring into your home with your kids. Throw him out and end this.

I agree and calling it a strop is massively minimising the behaviour.

Those poor kids 💔

diddl · 07/12/2025 16:38

So he locked you out of your own house, locking your kids in with him so that you couldn't get to them?

Does he have keys?

Can you prevent him from getting back in?

Preferably permanently?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 07/12/2025 16:40

'and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it.'

not quite sure exactly what you did to him first

you of course can report him assaulting you to the police, and rejoice that he has left you.

It's your house and your children and you do not want your children living in the atmosphere / situation.

You do not have to let him back in your house, and I hope you are packing up all his stuff and let him know where he can find it ( packed in black bags etc ).

and luckily he was just a partner and not a husband so no divorce to implement.

GildedPaulieWalnuts · 07/12/2025 16:42

JLou08 · 07/12/2025 16:03

Yes, I would laugh it off if it was my husband. By the time she 'tapped' him he was in sulk mode saying she thinks he's disgusting. You're acting like she was fighting off an attempted rape, nothing in the post suggests that. He tried it on, got told no, started feeling sorry for himslef, she hit him, he became very violent. I stand by them both being awful.

Show quote history

He’s not her husband though, is he?

He’s an out of work wanker boyfriend who was making her ‘feel uncomfortable’ with his sexually aggressive behaviour, and she had her children in the house.

TwistedWonder · 07/12/2025 16:46

OP - I’ve just found your previous threads and this isnt a one off us it? It’s the latest in a long line of abusive behaviours from him

Your last thread you he told you he only had arc with you because he’s got noticing better yo do - and you’ve gone back! Why ffs? You’ve been told repeatedly that’s he’s a nasty abusive wanker and yet you still inflict him on your DC.

Youve only been together a couple of years and you’ve moved an abusive cunt into your home which should be your DC safe space.

Put you and your DC first and end this shit show of a relationship

Springtimehere · 07/12/2025 16:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MrsVBS · 07/12/2025 16:49

Please don’t put up with this behaviour, it’s not normal. He’s an arsehole, change the locks and put his things on the drive.

AntikytheraMech · 07/12/2025 16:52

So you slapped him first, and downplayed it by saying tapped?

eyeses · 07/12/2025 17:05

From your description there is no hope of the behaviour completely stopping.

I'm sorry but you need to split.

Firefumes · 07/12/2025 17:05

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:36

@AttilaTheMeerkat I own my own home

Does he own it too or not?

Clarinet1 · 07/12/2025 17:09

MarymaryquiteC · 07/12/2025 13:01

OP imagine the happy Christmas you could have without him knowing you be er have to put up with that abuse EVER AGAIN! And your children won't either (even if they don't see, they know).

This! Make today the first day of the rest of your (much better) life!

Starlight7080 · 07/12/2025 17:10

For a start you dont have that man in the same house as your children. Thats just basic parenting. Put them first not him and not you.
You should not have tapped his face and he definitely shouldnt have hit you. But you seem to be acting like its ok . Which makes me think this is not the first time something like this has happened.
Locking you outside is awful.
Do you not worry someone will report you both to social services ?

LilyBunch25 · 07/12/2025 17:10

My god, he's got to go.

letshavetea · 07/12/2025 17:13

Understandably the OP has had enough. I don’t think she’ll be back.

RightSheSaid · 07/12/2025 17:18

I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it.

You put your hands on him first. He shouldn't have slapped you, threatened to hit you with a bottle or put you out of your house. You shouldn't have put your hands on him. You never try to reason with a drunk. The relationship is toxic. You need to end it. It will escalate.

CharlieEffie · 07/12/2025 17:26

Im sorry that this happened but you need to use it to your advantage. Block him back, that way he cant just decide that he is over his strop and you can go back to normal until the next time. Get his stuff out of YOUR house. The strops and his behaviour around them is abusive enough but the fact that he has raised his hands to you is way over the line. You deserve better

Tolkienista · 07/12/2025 17:28

Nothing new to add to the conversation that hasn't already been said.
It's toxic, your children are at risk, you owe him absolutely nothing. Never let him darken your door again. He's history.
Look to 2026 as a complete fresh start.

80pinkclouds · 07/12/2025 17:34

Look up the Freedom Programme, order Living with the Dominator on Amazon, and get your shit together. You want this cunt near your kids? Sort it out.

TwistedWonder · 07/12/2025 17:35

letshavetea · 07/12/2025 17:13

Understandably the OP has had enough. I don’t think she’ll be back.

She’ll be starting another thread in 3 months when this wanker kicks off again

Shes already made several threads about his behaviour but takes absolutely no notice and carries on regardless.

notacooldad · 07/12/2025 17:36

Now I’ve written it all down, I really don’t know why I’ve put up with it. I guess perhaps because he can be really lovely.

Anybody can be really lovely. Harold Shipman was described as bei kind and lovely and rhat didn't end well.

Come on, if your best made told you this story im pretty sure you would shocked and want her to be safe and away from an abusive knobhead. If you agree, then want the same for yourself.

It was foolish/aggressive of you to "tap" his face, knowing that he was drunk and was likely to retaliate.
Nobody acts perfectly and sensibly in every situation, especially if it us rhe first time they come across a new behaviour. At least she is safe and can kick loser boy out.

landlordhell · 07/12/2025 17:37

LTB

Anyahyacinth · 07/12/2025 17:39

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:50

I find it really hard when he blames me for his behaviour as well. Now I’ve written it all down, I really don’t know why I’ve put up with it. I guess perhaps because he can be really lovely.

We need to teach this through childhood...abusive people are never 100% vile...their cultivation and niceness doesn't cancel out the nastiness which shouldn't exist.. no amount of loveliness cancels out he hit you, put you out of your home, wanted sex on demand and gives you the silent treatment. All these things are unacceptable...you deserve SO much better 💐

MissyMooPoo2 · 07/12/2025 17:41

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:50

I find it really hard when he blames me for his behaviour as well. Now I’ve written it all down, I really don’t know why I’ve put up with it. I guess perhaps because he can be really lovely.

A counsellor explained to me once that even the worst of men can be really lovely. Otherwise, they wouldn't get the opportunity to show their nasty sides. It's so obvious now, but for me at the time, it really wasn't.