Christmas work do strop

[Bradley28]

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

OMG. I'm sure you realise his behaviour isn't normal at all. This isn't being in a strop, this is abuse. How dare he lay his hands on you and lock you out of your own house & away from your children!!
But the great news is you don't have any kids with him & sounds like you own your own house. Don't let him back in. Tell him to piss off through the window when he comes back & put his stuff on the path for him to pick up tomorrow evening. Then have a glass of wine & ponder how much better your life will be without him in it.

It’s your house, yet you found yourself locked outside, with your children locked inside with a man not related to them. That is when you should have called the police. DV aside, you needed to have got to your children.

He goes. You change those locks.

Change the locks quick OP!

Oh OP that sounds horrid. Allowed into your home? Threatened? If for no other reason get rid so one day he isn't doing this and your kids witness it or, worse, he does it to your kids. This kind of behavior can escalate as well. Escape it OP. You all deserve better!

I hope you listen to all the great advice here. If the abusive loser returns I hope you lock him out like he did to you.

Sober you need to tackle this with him? Is he in control of his behaviour? Is he sorry? Does he have an alcohol problem? What help is he prepared to get to improve this?

If he isnt sorry or prepared to address it. He needs to go, irrespective of how lovely he can be

This is OP's fourth thread about her man kicking off. She needs to boot him out.

Oh I didnt realise that. Thanks. Yeah she defo does

If your daughter or son came to you in the future telling you their partner threatened them with a glass bottle, locked them out of the house at night, and followed all that up with a series of abusive texts, what would your advice be?

Then put all his stuff in black bags outside, and change the locks. If he kicks off, call the police.

They're not his kids, so he has no hold over you whatsoever. I understand how it feels to feel trapped, honestly I do, but there is no reason at all to stay with this utter arsewipe.

THIS ^
Your house and your kids - he has no claim on either.
He has treated you badly, and left you. Cool.

So get the locks changed NOW and pack his stuff up and put it outside.
Or better yet, report the whole thing to the police and when he turns up,not able to get in and calls them, they escort him to retrieve his stuff and see him off he premises.
This is actually the easiest possible 'fix' for you. Just get the locks changed and report the matter to the police.

He sounds awful, get him away from you and your children

So sorry for you but it is all in your hands now! Look objectively at what you have written about him and his behaviour and think what you would say if it was one of your family or friends. Read this link and see if you recognize your partner
Controlling Behavior: 7 Signs To Look For https://share.google/I0ftwAIblrc3m8vO3

You have to be strong and believe you are worth more than him, no matter how "lovely" he "can" be.
Good luck

@Bradley28 OK at first I was thinking, right I'd be a bit annoyed to but nothing major. Then thought WTF!!

Now, not the point at all and I'm not trying to quiz you I'm just curious. How did he manage to get you out of the house in order to lock it?

Spot on.

I don't know how far away from help, but if you aren't able to get him out of the home right away, I'd consider a grab bag with shoes, a coat, cash, etc. Maybe a burner phone if your in an isolated spot. What he did to you was terrible. How long were you locked out for? Sorry op.

He's gone out and got drunk and horny then had a strop just because he felt rejected. I mean you probably would feel quite silly flourishing your willy at someone who then told you to stash it away, but that's tough.

ive never known anyone to be locked out their house or slapped by their partner in my real life. How would you feel if one of your friends told you this? You would tell them they are worth so much more! And he locked you out with his children that are not biologically his inside, he could have done anything in his state!

It’s your house and they aren’t his kids- this is crystal clear. Get an emergency locksmith and he never sets foot in your house again. Apologise to your kids that mum didn’t make sure enough that you only brought safe people into their life, and make it right. You can bag his stuff up later , he’s threatened you, stomped off , abusive messaged you, blocked you and his access to his stuff is not your problem.

Of course he can be really lovely, nobody would be drawn into his drama if he didn't make an effort now & then.

If it had been a one-off it might be almost funny in what a stereotypically gross drunk he'd been but it's not a one-off, it's a pattern of behaviour in which you are punished for minor or imagined infractions against the almighty Him.

IDK how long you've been putting up with this or how many people in your support network he's already driven away but if you have people who really do care abut you, talk to them about what's going on. IRL conversation & support is always far more useful than us randos typing takes in response to partial data.

He sound abusive but OP struck him first. That’s also assault. The difference between a slap and a tap is subjective and could vary widely depending on how hard they each were. Hitting someone in the face, who is drunk, is never going to be a good idea.

This is unacceptable. The two of you may have good times, but they aren't worth the bad, especially with your kids potentially witnessing it all. Set them a better example by removing this man from your life.

Great. so you will by now have changed your locks and placed his things in the garage or outside for him to pick up.

You have not the tiniest right to have this shitheel of a man anywhere near your children, and you are being a very bad mother by doing so.

Sort yourself out, their safety and stability comes first.

Spot on.