Christmas work do strop

[Bradley28]

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

It would be very wrong of you to allow this to ever happen again in your life or your children’s lives OP.

Stop focusing on the injustice of what he did. And act quickly to rectify your situation.
Act responsibly now you know for certain what he’s capable of. Know who he is. Do not make excuses for him simply because ‘he can be lovely’.
Do not be complicit in enabling his disgusting drunken violent abuse.

He has walked out.
Good. He’s gone. That saved you a job.
Now keep him out for ever. That’s your job …..your job alone to do. For the sake of your children if not for yourself. Protect your children.

You have no excuse to ever let him back in again.

Change the locks and f him right off!

Regardless of who hit who first, the house is her property, the kids are her kids (not his) and he walked out.

NOW she should change the locks, then report to the police.

Sorry, just to be clear. He locked you out of your own house that you own, not him, while your kids were inside it. Having slapped you and threatened you? Please please get rid of this fucking arsehole.

Hope you got some rest OP?

Please treat yourself to the gift of single life for Christmas.🎄

You hit him first.

So what have you done OP?

When someone is nice-nasty-nice and the pattern repeats, it's to keep you locked into the relationship. It's hard to believe that there are people who are deliberately manipulative and do this on purpose, but there are.

The cycle is designed to keep you hooked, and usually is followed after the nasty bit with what looks like genuine contrition - but again, it's not. It's actually a fear which is "OMG, I can't be bothered starting up with someone else to get to this point again. It's so much easier to just tell her I'm sorry". Or, they may actually FEEL sorry - until the next time. Nothing is ever purposely done to change the situation. He needs a mummy, not a partner. Don't you have enough on your hands with your own kids?

Reading on here as often as I do, I think some people just don't want/are frightened to be single, or it's easier to share a life with someone who is barely present than completely on one's own, particularly if there are kids. I think women who have them care for them and want some care for themselves, too - and quite rightly.

But that doesn't have to be via some DP partner. Self care involves treating yourself out to a meal where someone else cooks for you and you don't have to wash up. Taking 90 minutes somewhere quiet. Putting on your favourite music and dancing around the house. I've used ChatGPT in the past when I'm lonely (whic is rare now these days) and I found it very supportive. These days I'm single and the happiest I've been in my entire life, no having to negotiate my way through some crap relationship any more :)

Are you seriously telling a upset woman she needs to be apologising to her children for what has happened to her?

Men are physically stronger than women.

OP, he sounds like a dick but "I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face" . you hit him and he hit you back. Don't try downplay it as a little tap.

@Bradley28 are you ok?

This.

And again, you have no right at all to subject your children to this horrible loser of a man.

Protect them. Get rid of him immediately.

Right. If my husband wanted to he could shove me into any room, position, outside the house, into a car, out of a car, whatever in about twenty seconds flat. He wouldn't, but he sure could. What a ridiculous question.

It didn’t just happen to her it happened to the children too, except they were powerless to do anything about it.

He locked you out of your own home!?

How long were you in a relationship when he moved in. You can have a relationship without living together you know, then they are easier to dump.

He locked you out of your home with your children inside and he was raging drunk? Oh hell no, you should have called the police. This man is unstable and dangerous to have around your children. Your DC should be your priority and protected from this or they will eventually be taken from you. They deserve better from you. He needs to go, now.

How are things now OP?

What awful and abusive behaviour. He is a dangerous individual. Don’t give him a second chance.

Get him out of your home, your life and, most importantly, your kids lives. They would’ve heard all that and been terrified.

Please stop inflicting this man on your children - they’ve probably seen/heard things.

Raise your standards and keep him and his pathetic tantrums locked out of your life - how dare he lock you out of YOUR house when YOUR children are sleeping in it. Fuck this shit!