Christmas work do strop

[Bradley28]

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

Make him your ex. This from him now is just the latest in a line of crap and otherwise abusive behaviour from him. His 24 hour strops towards you are emotionally abusive in nature.

And he’s supposed to be an adult . It was never your task to help him sort a new job. That makes you sound like his mother or a mother figure.

What is the situation re the property and finances?.

I hope you seize this chance to leave him. You deserve so much better.

You say “my kids” so are they also his? What is your housing situation?

He sounds like a total knob.

Leave him OP, he’s an abusive arsehole.

This is not normal behaviour by any stretch, it just sounds like you have got used to it.

He slapped you, that’s assault and a police matter to me but I appreciate it’s up to you how you deal with it.

He wanted sex by the sounds of it and became physically aggressive when you declined? It sounds like it’s already escalating.

I would be planning how to leave him.

@AttilaTheMeerkat I own my own home

He needs to go, never let him in your house again.

You have had a lucky escape. Report to police and don't let him back in.

That’s unforgivable behaviour and drunkenness is no excuse

You own your own home and he locked you out of it? Yeah, chuck the loser out and put yourself and your children first.
Who gives a shit where he’s gone today? He’s blocked you, so fuck him.

Get the police involved and change the locks. If you feel able to OP.

He will only get worse.

Do you have anyone in real live to help? Family you could confide in?

I find it really hard when he blames me for his behaviour as well. Now I’ve written it all down, I really don’t know why I’ve put up with it. I guess perhaps because he can be really lovely.

@Upthenorth im posting here because I need to wrap my head around it before I speak to people irl

You deserve better than this. Sounds like he’s an insecure, abusive knob and you’ve be so much better off without him. Only you can decide but think about what you want from a relationship - this can’t be it!?

He's a dickhead, be rid of him! Lovely men don't hit women and lock them out of their homes. Lovely men don't have tantrums and send abusive messages. He put you and your children in danger. He's not lovely at all.

Is he the father of your dc?

He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house

You also said it’s very commonplace for him to have 24hr long strops and block you on everything.

So he’s not really ‘lovely’ then is he? More like you get to experience a bit of Jekyll along with the ongoing Hyde 🤷🏻‍♀️

LTB.

I learned (through experience) that relationships should not be like a cake, where you eat slices filled with maggots because the rest of the slices are delicious.

This is completely unacceptable behaviour on his part. You deserve better. It takes strength to get yourself out, even when you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s hard, but worth it, I promise you it’s worth it.

@CagneyNYPD1 No, they are my children and he has children he sees half the week

In point of fact, he has left you and I strongly urge you to keep it that way. I can’t see anything in your post that would make me want to stay with this man.

Omg please please never let him in again.

Please read the signs now and don’t let him bring any more misery to your life. You are worth so much more.

I’m stuck with mine but you can get out. Do.

I'd bag up all his things now and put them in the garage (if you have one) or somewhere where you can just pass them to him when he eventually returns. I'm always cheering on women with their own homes who live with idiots like this - it makes everything so much easier for them.

Totally understandable.

I would be prepared that they will be very shocked. It sounds like you might be fairly used to his behaviour but anyone outside the relationship would likely be very shocked. Rightly so.

I am so sorry you’re going through this.

Why are you stuck?

OP imagine the happy Christmas you could have without him knowing you be er have to put up with that abuse EVER AGAIN! And your children won't either (even if they don't see, they know).