Christmas work do strop

[Bradley28]

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

So what is it going to take for you to finally put your children first OP? You don't need him for a roof over your head, you don't have children together and now there's physical violence onto of the usual emotional abuse.

I’d say a threshold has been crossed that there’s no coming back from op, please end the relationship, stop weighing up the good things about him again this level of behaviour and please just end it x

Make this the day you make the right choice for your children and don't let him come back into their home. You have a choice here, they don't

Looks like the the rubbish has taken itself out. Own home, your kids therefore no ties. Change the locks. Enjoy an abuse free Christmas. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT LET HIM BACK!

"Strop" did not prepare me for the situation you described - this is not a strop, it's a hard line and surely it's the end!

This is typical abusive behaviour. Putting everything back on you. Narcissistic. You have no ties to this man. Call the police. Report the slap and abuse. Pack his stuff up and get it out of your house and get the locks changed as soon as possible. Things will not improve.

You're going to feel conflicted OP.
You want the normal him without the "stroppy" him, but sadly you cannot have one without the other.
Even though it's the right choice, ending the relationship will feel very hard and you'll start trying to rationalise how to keep it going and looking back with rose tinted glasses. But you must keep this abuse at the forefront of your mind. What if next time he does smash the wine bottle on you? Imagine your kids coming downstairs and seeing you bleeding on the floor, or possibly finding your body? Imagine he "strops" at one of them? Keep them in your mind and they'll give you the strength needed.

Change the locks and enjoy a peaceful Christmas.

JFC the PP talking about "sexy fun time"!! With a staggering naked abusive stinking drunk? I would never be desperate enough. Ugh.

Oh and obviously: LTB (we actually he has left, so just tell him to stay gone).

Most men can be really lovely OP. You don't have to put up with abuse and threats of violence to get it.

It’s not your fault.

But, even if you start to think it is, that’s still not a reason to live in this misery.

Change the locks and report him to the police.

Jesus fucking Christ OP. Bag up his stuff and change the locks. You own your own home and your children aren't his. He is an abusive toss pot and this is no way to live for you or your kids. And no, he isn't "really lovely". Sorry, but you can't be that desperate for a man.

You should not have hit him, in spite of the awful situation. I cannot approve of domestic violence. You both need a separation, it’s a dangerous situation for all parties.

You hit him first, which is unacceptable.

His drunken behaviour is unacceptable.

End the relationship and seek help.

This is not about a christmas work do its about you needing to kick him out TODAY

You’ve described some very worrying behaviour. None of this is OK. Please make sure you and your kids are safe.

I absolutely agree that this is a dysfunctional relationship and the OP is better off out of it.

I also think we should all learn from this - when someone comes home drunk and in a lousy mood, 'tapping their face' is unlikely to improve the situation.

Until he’s not

and the gaps between the nice get longer and longer.

you do know what you have to do. Putting you out of your own home in the middle of the night is literally enough to make this joker your ex.

have you got a mate irl you can open up to?

we’ve got you,

What should women do when a drunk man tries to force unwanted sex on them?

He has gone, so he has made it much easier for you as you won't need to tell him to get out. Put his stuff in a black bag outside the door and lock it from the inside. Tomorrow get a locksmith to change the lock. As he has blocked you, leave a note on the door or black bag telling him to get lost permanently. If he bangs on the door and threatens you, call the police. Reallly hoping you see the urgent need to do this. Good luck.💐

Imagine your children walked down to see what was going on & see him hitting and threatening their mother.
Imagine them seeing their mother being locked outside of the house and being stuck in the house with a violent drunk - which is essentially what happened, when you were locked out, they were in the house with a violent drunk.

I’d be gone OP.

Good. Change the locks.

You were locked out of your own house? Go nuclear.

Thank goodness.

As Atilla said, he needs to be your ex after this behaviour which seems to be a repetition of previous incidents. He's physically abused you so you need to report to the police.
Please also contact women's aid for support and a safety plan.

Drunken naked man makes advances when woman doesn't want sex?

Sounds like the OP was defending herself from sexual assault.