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Original poster

Christmas work do strop

297 replies

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:24

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

OP posts:
Sassylovesbooks · 07/12/2025 13:30

If you own your home that's nothing to do with your partner, and you have no joint children, you are in a good position. You can have the locks changed, gather all his belongings together and leave them on the doorstep. You need to get this man out of your house and life quickly. He got drunk, slapped you and locked you out of your own home, all because he wanted sex and you weren't interested. He's not a lovely man, he's a nasty piece of work.

Probablyshouldntsay · 07/12/2025 13:30

InMyOodie · 07/12/2025 13:26

Spare your children this ongoing shitshow and get the locks changed before he comes back. They don't deserve to live in the middle of this violence.

Bag up his things and get rid of them.

This is the only right answer OP. You’re failing your children if you don’t end this relationship once and for all

peony89 · 07/12/2025 13:33

Well the relationship is surely over.

You own the home, the children are not his, he’s not there anymore. What more is there to say? Just bag up his crap and change the locks.

Job done.

loulouljh · 07/12/2025 13:35

Get an emergency locksmith this afternoon to change the locks. Put his stuff outside. Done. You don't need that nonsense going on.

Luckyingame · 07/12/2025 13:35

Well, fortunately you own your house and aren't married.
Get rid of this deranged piece of shit and if it's someone to "date" you want, don't ever let them get their feet under a table in your home.

LifeSurvior · 07/12/2025 13:36

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:57

@CagneyNYPD1 No, they are my children and he has children he sees half the week

Your children could have witnessed him pissed up with no clothes on threatening to hit you with a bottle of wine, actually assault you and locking their Mum out of the house.
Pray they didn't.
You need rid of this horrendous man yesterday.
Think of your children please.

JLou08 · 07/12/2025 13:36

"tapped his face to try to shake him out of it".

You hit him and are trying to minimise it. He hit you back. You're both awful. You need to end the relationship and do some work around healthy relationships and controlling your tempers.

Ohnobackagain · 07/12/2025 13:37

@Bradley28 change the locks while he’s out. I’m not saying this lightly but he’s been awful to you. And sounds like he’s taken advantage generally. I’d think of this as a lucky escape - although of course you must be in a state of shock/hurt and upset. Look after yourself OP.

Bournetilly · 07/12/2025 13:39

His behaviour is disgusting. Dont let him back (other than to collect his belongings), he locked you out of your own home with your kids inside.

SardinesOnGingerbread · 07/12/2025 13:40

ohyesido · 07/12/2025 13:20

Wow. My initial thought was, why don’t you want to engage in fun sexy time with your husband?

your following comments answered the question!

you say you tapped him. What does that mean? Sounds like a downplay of something that triggered a sequence of events.

if you did just make a small physical move that resulted in a full on slap, then he’s out of order. All those nasty threats simply because you don’t want to have sex with him are despicable

If your idea of a drunken man staggering into your bedroom very late after a night out and acting both lewdly and strangely is 'fun sexy time', crack on. I personally expect more from a sexual partner and I don't think it helps the OPs standard to minimise any of that behaviour (although I fully accept you went to town on him after that part).

littlebilliie · 07/12/2025 13:42

I would report and change the locks, get a friend around to pack up his stuff and get him out of your life

sciaticafanatica · 07/12/2025 13:42

It’s not about your feelings towards the situation.
its about protecting your children from being dragged into your abusive relationship.
as a mother this should be your priority.
leave him !

Cornishclio · 07/12/2025 13:42

Let him go. He is a drunk abusive dickhead.

ohyesido · 07/12/2025 13:43

SardinesOnGingerbread · 07/12/2025 13:40

If your idea of a drunken man staggering into your bedroom very late after a night out and acting both lewdly and strangely is 'fun sexy time', crack on. I personally expect more from a sexual partner and I don't think it helps the OPs standard to minimise any of that behaviour (although I fully accept you went to town on him after that part).

Show quote history

i would be delighted if my DH came home and wanted to seduce me. Less so if my refusal resulted in slapping and threats, mind

Bungle2168 · 07/12/2025 13:46

You both sound effing miserable around each other. Just take the relationship around the back of the house and have it shot.

excelledyourself · 07/12/2025 13:47

This isn’t your first thread about this awful man. He’s abusive, aggressive, and takes advantage of you.

Get rid of him and get therapy. If not for your own sake, then for your children.

Catwalking · 07/12/2025 13:47

Maybe you should talk to the police about him? Possibly he could be sectioned, he is acting irrationally… (or more irrationally than previous ‘stops’?) especially as he has hit you & threatened more.

PinkyFlamingo · 07/12/2025 13:48

You own your house, so you are in a better position than some victims of domestic abuse. You need to act now. Has he got a key with him?

DonewhatIcando · 07/12/2025 13:49

@Bradley28
Pack his stuff and leave it outside, send him a text "you don't live at my address anymore, I've left your stuff outside for collection, any repetition of last nights behaviour when collecting your belongings will result in the the police being called"

BunnyLake · 07/12/2025 13:50

New Year is approaching do you really want to spend another year with this abusive moron! You have children, it is your job to protect them so please please do it!

The post above mine says exactly what you should do.

And change the locks!!

CinnamonJellyBeans · 07/12/2025 13:50

It was foolish/aggressive of you to "tap" his face, knowing that he was drunk and was likely to retaliate.

I'd kick him out.

Would your kids prefer life without him?

Frugalgal · 07/12/2025 13:51

Bradley28 · 07/12/2025 12:24

It was my partners Christmas work do last night. When he got back, he was really drunk. For reasons I don’t understand, he stripped off all his clothes and began behaving in a lewd and inappropriate way. I was stone cold sober and asked him to put some clothes back on because he was making me feel uncomfortable. he threw a massive strop and said I must hate him and find him disgusting, that I’m uptight for not taking advantage of the situation (!). These strops are common for him and can last 24 hours or more. I’d had a hard week of helping him sort a new job and had been looking forward to seeing him when he got in. I didn’t have the patience to deal with his drama, and tapped his face to try to shake him out of it. He then slapped me, threatened to hit me with a bottle of wine and then locked me outside the house (it was cold, I had no shoes, no phone and my kids were asleep in the house). After I was allowed back in, he walked off (well staggered) down the road- which is a dark, country road. Last I’ve seen of him. I received a string of abusive texts at 4am about how awful I am, and since then he has blocked me on all platforms (the blocking is standard strop behaviour for him). Have no idea where he is today. This all feels really full on.
Dunno what I’m looking for here, just needed to put this into words I think.

Jesus, do yourself a massive favour and end it without further ado.

GildedPaulieWalnuts · 07/12/2025 13:51

JLou08 · 07/12/2025 13:36

"tapped his face to try to shake him out of it".

You hit him and are trying to minimise it. He hit you back. You're both awful. You need to end the relationship and do some work around healthy relationships and controlling your tempers.

To be fair, I’m pretty sure I’d push or possibly hit a DP if he very drunkenly tried to have unwelcome sex with me, because I’d be scared and in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode, if he wasn’t responding to reason. And dump him.

And I’d maybe think about involving the police if he then escalated the situation and hit me and locked me out with my children inside.

IAmKerplunk · 07/12/2025 13:52

excelledyourself · 07/12/2025 13:47

This isn’t your first thread about this awful man. He’s abusive, aggressive, and takes advantage of you.

Get rid of him and get therapy. If not for your own sake, then for your children.

Oh. This isn’t good. Op you need to get rid.

KnewYearKnewMe · 07/12/2025 13:52

This sounds like a totally destructive relationship and one you and your kids are much better off out of.

not sure what ‘I tapped his face’ is though.. you shouldn’t be putting hands on him as much as he shouldn’t on you…

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