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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

World Cup is on my birthday

199 replies

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:02

One of England’s group games is on my birthday. H has already added it to the calendar. I hate football with a passion and he knows this. Aibu to want him to celebrate my birthday with me rather than be glued to the tv??

OP posts:
chouxchoux · 07/12/2025 12:46

My birthday is in the middle of July and has often coincided with the football World Cup semi final/final. I’ve never thought to be upset that my OH makes plans around that. Surely yours can do both things successfully? ie celebrate your birthday and enjoy the rugby?

cramptramp · 07/12/2025 12:57

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:06

Really?! I’m being unreasonable to want my husband to prioritise his wife over the football. Really??

Yes.

TorturedPotatoDept · 07/12/2025 12:59

I can't understand why some people think it's childish to celebrate birthdays but not childish to care about a football game? If you think celebrating your partner is pathetic and infantile, surely you also think someine getting all excited about watching grown men chase a ball around a field is pretty pathetic too?

snoopythebeagle · 07/12/2025 13:04

TorturedPotatoDept · 07/12/2025 12:59

I can't understand why some people think it's childish to celebrate birthdays but not childish to care about a football game? If you think celebrating your partner is pathetic and infantile, surely you also think someine getting all excited about watching grown men chase a ball around a field is pretty pathetic too?

It is pathetic but OP knows her DH is a football fan and is going to want to watch the England matches.

He can't move the match around, but OP can enjoy her birthday meal an hour earlier or the day before quite easily.

marcopront · 07/12/2025 13:05

Hobbitfeet32 · 07/12/2025 11:22

What would you like to do on your birthday @rainsbows?

You need to be more precise.

The question is what do you want to do at 9 pm on your birthday?

YetAnotherAlias62 · 07/12/2025 13:07

There are 3 group games and they could potentially be the only 3 games England play at the World Cup.
As others have said, the World Cup only happens every 4 years, so to get so upset about one birthday isn't anything that would even occur to me!
FGS don't insist on watching it with him, it sounds like you'd manage to suck the fun out of it is you're this upset about it already......

TwistedWonder · 07/12/2025 13:13

OSTMusTisNT · 07/12/2025 12:35

YABU, I haven't celebrated my birthday, Valentines Day or wedding anniversary for the last 20 years as they all fall in the run up to the financial year end. (Yes, I'm working all day and then weekends at that point and it's shite).

Pick another day around your bday and let him watch the football then everyone is happy.

My birthday is Boxing Day and my DS was born in 5th April - I work for a wealth managers and it’s our busiest day of the year.

Ive hardly ever generated my birthday on the day as everyone is doing family stuff. It’s a big birthday this month so I’m out with different groups on a couple of Saturdays in December. It’s about being with special people not one day.

I think my DS only ever had a party in his actual birthday once and that was because it fell on the weekend (and I still had to go to work in the morning)

Honestly I don’t see the big deal with it not being in the actual day. I think the OP is trying to be deliberately ridiculous just to make a point

CatchTheWind1920 · 07/12/2025 13:20

I don't see why you can't do both

Queryforme · 07/12/2025 13:22

I'm a bit football fan, as is my DH but I don't think you are being unreasonable to be honest, but only if him watching the match ruins your birthday plans, if you were just going to be at home anyway then it's no big deal. I'd definitely miss someone if it coincided with my husband's birthday, and he would me. I do think it's important to celebrate the person on the day, whether they are 5 or 55.

ilovesooty · 07/12/2025 13:23

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:13

Not when we both work full time. At best it would be a rushed dinner with him clock watching to get back.its 9pm kickoff.

Edited

Go out to dinner the day before or the day after then.

ilovesooty · 07/12/2025 13:25

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

If you're a fan the group games matter. You aren't going to make him feel differently however much you say about it.

Dollymylove · 07/12/2025 13:31

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:06

Really?! I’m being unreasonable to want my husband to prioritise his wife over the football. Really??

Its only every 4 years and a football match is ninety minutes.
How old are you, 6?

cramptramp · 07/12/2025 13:33

Good God OP, be thankful your birthday isn’t on the 25th December :0)

snoopythebeagle · 07/12/2025 13:33

Queryforme · 07/12/2025 13:22

I'm a bit football fan, as is my DH but I don't think you are being unreasonable to be honest, but only if him watching the match ruins your birthday plans, if you were just going to be at home anyway then it's no big deal. I'd definitely miss someone if it coincided with my husband's birthday, and he would me. I do think it's important to celebrate the person on the day, whether they are 5 or 55.

They can celebrate on the day - the match isn't until 9pm Confused

Whaleandsnail6 · 07/12/2025 13:34

TorturedPotatoDept · 07/12/2025 12:59

I can't understand why some people think it's childish to celebrate birthdays but not childish to care about a football game? If you think celebrating your partner is pathetic and infantile, surely you also think someine getting all excited about watching grown men chase a ball around a field is pretty pathetic too?

Well, not really

Op can still celebrate her birthday. The match is on at 9pm. She can celebrate before the match with her husband, choose to celebrate with someone else on the actual day, do something lovely just for herself, have a celebration on any of the other 6 nights that are during that week.

I don't think celebrating football is pathetic. It brings a lot of joy and community to many people's lives. My husband can literally strike up a conversation with any other football fan and have this shared interest. My son has a whole new group of friends and a healthy sport hobby because of his football team

I'm personally not a fan but I sometimes get excited about the next episode of a long awaited tv show or if I'm doing something related to my hobby... having hobbies is not sad or pathetic

backinthebox · 07/12/2025 13:42

I can’t stand football but tbh I would not get that bothered about DH wanting to watch a World Cup match if he was really obsessed about football on my birthday. (He isn’t, so I’m mostly safe from the football madness. I just have to deal with the ‘but it’s the Ashes…’ cricket version instead.)

I’m going to be in South America on DH’s birthday this year taking part in my own sport, and on DS’s birthday I’ll be somewhere in Europe competing at the World Champs of my sport. They are important to me. My family are also important to me, so I’ll be making lots of time to celebrate with them at a slightly different time. DS will be in school anyway on his birthday so we’ll have it at the weekend, and DH is a grown up and can cope with having his birthday meal with me 2 days later. I probably won’t have a birthday celebration this year as I’ll be at work (overseas, on my own, tiny violin. 🙄)

susiedaisy1912 · 07/12/2025 13:44

Let him enjoy the major sports event that day and celebrate your birthday afterwards op. Don’t make this a big issue and ruin it for both of you.

luckylavender · 07/12/2025 13:46

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:02

One of England’s group games is on my birthday. H has already added it to the calendar. I hate football with a passion and he knows this. Aibu to want him to celebrate my birthday with me rather than be glued to the tv??

You mean one of the matches is on your birthday. Misleading title.I think you have to suck it up and celebrate it on another day. It will be a trying period for you.

luckylavender · 07/12/2025 13:51

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 07/12/2025 07:37

The England matches are apparently going to be on in the middle of the night so unless you are planning your birthday meal for 3am there really isn’t a problem here.

They aren’t. They’re at 9

CountryGirlInTheCity · 07/12/2025 13:58

I think it depends on what the birthday vibe is in your house. If everyone who has a birthday usually gets treated like King or Queen for a day, well I can understand your upset. If there’s normally a bit of flexibility and it’s not such a big deal generally then I think you can enjoy celebrating it another time.

My birthday falls in the group stages as well and last night DH said jokingly ‘Well we already know what we’re doing for your birthday next year then!’ I said that I was sure we could work round the match but he laughed and said ‘I was obviously joking, of course I won’t be watching it.’ He is a big fan though so if it gets to nearer the time and it fits in, I’ll make sure he watches it.

DH always goes all out for my birthdays though, often takes the day off work and we do whatever I want to do and I do the same for him on his birthday. It’s one way we choose to show care to the other person. We are flexible though…I taught for years and so if my birthday fell on a week day it was just another working day so we’d often shift the celebrations to the nearest weekend. He still goes all out but it doesn’t have to be the exact day. I think your hurt comes from the assumption that he will watch the match without any consultation when there are factors that are important to the other person in the partnership. That would annoy me too. TBH I would expect a discussion about anything like that where there’s a difference of expectations between us. I wouldn’t necessarily expect for my birthday to be a trump card, but I would expect it to be taken into consideration. I certainly wouldn’t expect for a football match to be a trump card either and I‘m pretty surprised that so many people think it is!

SparkyBlue · 07/12/2025 14:15

Make your peace with it OP. There was a big six nations rugby match on the day of our wedding and the hotel said that they’d move dinner until the match was over as otherwise people would end up lingering to watch it. It didn’t matter that they shouldn’t do it it’s what will end up happening . Also a cousin got married during a World Cup and in her case the hotel told her to move the meal to a bit earlier as the match was starting at 7.30/8ish (I can’t remember exactly) and they said whether she liked it or not people would leave the meal to go out to the bar. Like a pp said you need to embrace it and get into the spirit of it.

TwistedWonder · 07/12/2025 14:16

cramptramp · 07/12/2025 13:33

Good God OP, be thankful your birthday isn’t on the 25th December :0)

Mines 26th - don’t think ive ever actually celebrated on the day so I spread it out through the whole month 😂

Moonlightfrog · 07/12/2025 14:26

I can see why your annoyed OP, it’s not a big game (final or even quarter) so surely he can watch the game later on catch up?
Hopefully you can work out a way of compromising? Either he watches the game later or you can maybe get a take away, enjoy some time together before the game?

I don’t like a huge fuss on my birthday but I understand that some people do.

SleeplessInWherever · 07/12/2025 15:29

TwistedWonder · 07/12/2025 14:16

Mines 26th - don’t think ive ever actually celebrated on the day so I spread it out through the whole month 😂

You’re nicer than I am.

Mine’s Christmas Eve and I absolutely expect a birthday, everyone else gets one. We do the Christmas routine stuff of watching a film together, reindeers and pjs etc etc on the evening - until that point it’s my birthday.

My nephew is 20 on Christmas Day - we also split the day for that, and from 4pm onwards - it’s his birthday.

Wowcha · 07/12/2025 16:05

TorturedPotatoDept · 07/12/2025 12:59

I can't understand why some people think it's childish to celebrate birthdays but not childish to care about a football game? If you think celebrating your partner is pathetic and infantile, surely you also think someine getting all excited about watching grown men chase a ball around a field is pretty pathetic too?

No one is saying that it’s childish to celebrate a birthday but what is childish is throwing your toys out the pram and expecting the whole world to revolve around you on that day.

You do not need to celebrate on the actual day.
Or you can do a token thing on the day and celebrate it properly on a different day - which most people do anyway.

I would be mortified if my child was upset that they had to wait until the weekend for their party or if I had to go to work that day.
Life happens.

OP does not claim midnight - midnight. If her DH wants to go to bed or spend 90mins watching football then he can.

I can’t help feeling that if this was a tennis match or something other than football, then more posters would think OP is BU.