World Cup is on my birthday

[rainsbows]

One of England’s group games is on my birthday. H has already added it to the calendar. I hate football with a passion and he knows this. Aibu to want him to celebrate my birthday with me rather than be glued to the tv??

I don't understand the off-side rule and there isn't a snowballs chance in hell even I would do this. Live matches only.

I meant to quote the "record and watch it later" post. This place has been very glitchy and jumpy lately.

If the football wasn't on, I bet you'd be happy with a takeaway or dinner out at 7 and home before 9. Because there's football on you feel like you need to make some kind of point and force your DH to miss it.

Op you say dh has added the game to the calendar, has he actually said that means he wants to watch the game and not do anything to celebrate your birthday though? I wonder if you’re reading too much into it?

If he’s said right I know it’s your birthday but I want to stay in and watch the football all evening then yes I agree that’s crap. I’d at least hope for a conversation where if this game is that important to him he discusses it with you and you both come up with some kind of compromise. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable if he’s either just assumed or actually told you he’s watching the game that evening and not doing anything for your birthday.

My DH is a huge football fan with a season ticket, and he also enjoys going to some away matches, including abroad.

I have no issue with any of that because he pulls his weight in our relationship and as a father.
if there’s a home match at 3pm, he’ll spend the morning with the kids and/or be home for bed time.

unless it was a special birthday or if we already had made plans, I couldn’t get worked up about it, we’d just celebrate my birthday on a different day (and I’d probably do something with the kids or get a babysitter and go out with friends)

surely you’ve known about his love of football throughout your relationship, and his “priorities” as you call it?

YABVVU

At least you have advance warning! Book a lovely meal out with your friends instead.

I don't understand people who insist on their birthday having to be celebrated on the actual day. Go out to dinner the day before, or the day after, or the weekend after. Stamping your foot about "priorities" is ridiculous when it's perfectly possible to do both a World Cup game and a birthday celebration in the same week.

just celebrate your birthday another day!

My DH is a season ticket holder and if a match falls on my bday, we arrange to do something nice another day.

My friend book tickets for a massive concert on my son’s birthday this year. I felt guilty at first but everyone else was telling me I should go.

What did you do on your birthday this year?

I can’t see a problem with this. Everyone has a passion that doesn’t make sense to other people and this only happens every 4 years. You can go out any other night. I always celebrate my birthday on a weekend anyway as on weeknights it’s kids’ stuff and work stuff and whatever else. Spread the celebration out and have a birthday week this year

I'd get in touch with FIFA and see if they can move it.

My dad travelled a lot when we were young so birthdays were always somewhat moveable - you could celebrate a few days either side. I'm trying to teach my DC this trick because it spares the birthday person hurt feelings if things come up and spares everyone else from "but it's my birthday" drama which, IMO, is a bad look on an adult.

The World Cup only happens every 4 years. It's not "just a game" to literally millions of people. Just plan a really lovely adjacent birthday celebration.

Yup often happens to me. Had a combined 40th and England game party. It’s the only way - embrace it. It’s fun 🎉

A relationship works and lasts because of what the two partners do day in, day out, not just on special days like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. OP presumably knew her husband was a football fan before she married him. This goes with the territory, doesn't it? If there are other problems (I note she refers to him as H, not DH), then maybe this is the straw that will break the camel's back, but otherwise I can't see what all the fuss is about. Celebrate the birthday at the nearest weekend that doesn't have another match scheduled.

You’re an adult. Football is something millions of people love.

Surely he can watch the footie and spend time celebrating with you? YABU to expect 24 hours of attention.

I join you in that minority if that helps.

My ex husband (this isn’t why he’s my ex 😂) was football mad and it drove me up the wall.

He couldn’t have avoided my birthday, it’s Christmas Eve, but the amount of things he/I missed was ridiculous.

Wouldn’t go on holiday when there was a home match on, we got married out of season, missed family Boxing Day gatherings, turning up to evening parts of weddings when he’d been invited all day, because there was a game on. Coming home from matches in a stinking mood all weekend because they’d lost.

Tedious. He absolutely would have missed my birthday, and I absolutely would have been bothered.

it seems like this is another thread where the OP asks if they are unreasonable, most people say yes and OP won’t accept . It’s an ‘insignificant’ birthday in that it’s not a landmark and you’re not 8. Celebrate it on the nearest weekend with your partner and accept he’s not going to be available on the day itself during the hours you would like to go out. Instead book a dinner with non football watching friends or family. I’m a teacher like you so I can’t book my birthday off either, some years it’s been parents evening ; one year it was a compulsory evening event (with no bar!) but my colleagues made a fuss of me and I celebrated at the weekend. You can celebrate a birthday on any day you choose but the world will not always bend to your will!

Your whole view of this is skewed, by your dislike of football Op. This is evident in your view that it is just a GAME.

The psychology of football involves deep emotional connection, identity, and belonging, where team success becomes personal success, triggering euphoria (dopamine, endorphins) and loss triggering grief (cortisol spikes).
Add to this a patriotic aspect as it is England, which further adds to the core psychological drivers of - Social identity and belonging / Emotional investment / emotional and Hormonal responses / Tribal Identity.

I'm sorry to say Op, that your DH has a lot more invested in this match, than he does in your 3X birthday. Hence the match is in the calendar and your birthday is not. But be assuaged that this is beyond his control.

I get it. But it’s the World Cup. I’d book an early dinner somewhere. Or celebrate on the nearest non work day.

I agree with this...its a work night so home by 9pm isnt an absolute ridiculous idea.

World cup happens once every 4 years. It is a big deal for a football fan.
I'm not a football fan but even I can accept that its important to people who like football.

There are plenty of ways that your birthday can be celebrated and him also watch the football but I suspect none of those will be acceptable to you as you have this competition between you and the football . He has to show his love by not watching the game...end of.

Also as someone up thread says, it's only a conflict if you make it one by insisting it must be at that time. It's perfectly possible for you to both get what you want/need here, but you have to be a bit flexible.

I know there have been a million other replies to this already, but this is one of the silliest, most entitled things I've read on here in a while. It will be completely impossible to avoid hearing the result of the match, especially if England win. I am no sort of football fan, but even I have got caught up in the excitement of watching the World Cup at times. A big part of the fun is knowing that you're watching it live and millions of others are also caught up in it. Nowadays you can be in touch with others on social media while it's going on, which adds another dimension.