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Original poster

World Cup is on my birthday

199 replies

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:02

One of England’s group games is on my birthday. H has already added it to the calendar. I hate football with a passion and he knows this. Aibu to want him to celebrate my birthday with me rather than be glued to the tv??

OP posts:
IdreamedAdreamINtimesGONEby · 07/12/2025 07:22

Ok, if not allowed to take leave then you'll just need to work around it.

Unfortunately it's happening, if you resent him and force him not to watch then it will be a horrible evening anyway.

Go for dinner as early as you can on the day, and then do something in the later evening with friends or solo.

I think this is just a case of having to get over this one. I'd be annoyed too, but it's happening.

However, I am also the kind of person who has designated every single event next year to be about ME because it's a BIG birthday. So every trip we do, is because it's for me me me 😂

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 07/12/2025 07:26

Surely you would go out on the weekend to celebrate your birthday?

Westfacing · 07/12/2025 07:27

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

Now you're just being goady!

To quote Bill Shankly ... I assure you, it's much more serious than that 😄

Lifestooshort71 · 07/12/2025 07:27

I never understand adults being invested in all the little birthdays so I'm going for the football tbh. Personally I wouldn't read too much into it and I'd wave him off to enjoy the match but we're all different.

Poppins2016 · 07/12/2025 07:28

This is an interesting thread.

So many responses along the lines of "don't be precious about your birthday, you're an adult".

But football is (just a game and) not worth being precious over either (especially if it's just watching on the TV vs having tickets to watch in person). A meaningful relationship is surely more important than watching TV...

TheCurious0range · 07/12/2025 07:30

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

You have a whole thread of people telling you yabu but you still don't get it.

Weekday birthdays when you're working are often a nothing anyway, celebrate properly at the weekend. It's an international tournament which only happens every 4 years, with a team who in recent years have actually done fairly well, first tournament under new manager, so additional interest. Our isn't a standard premier League game. It's 90 minutes in the 24 hours of your birthday. You're a teacher you'll be done by 4:30 assuming you won't be prepping or marking that day as your birthday is so important to you.

If you must go for a local dinner back by nine. My teacher friends are all up at the crack of dawn so you wouldn't want a late one midweek anyway and kick off isn't until 9pm.

AhBiscuits · 07/12/2025 07:31

The football is a couple of hours. Have your favourite takeaway or something then you can go out for a drink with your friends while he watches the football. You need to accept that it may just be a game to you, but it's important to millions of people.

tragichero · 07/12/2025 07:31

If someone is English and a football fan, it's unfair to ask them to miss an important England game, yeah.

Why don't you make a deal. He agrees to do stuff you like for the rest of the days but for the 90 minutes of the match, either leave him in peace, or even watch it with him?

(I have sometimes enjoyed watching big events even in a sport I don't much like, with a friend or partner who is really enthusiastic about it. It's nice to at least try out each others hobbies and interests occasionally. ).

TheCurious0range · 07/12/2025 07:32

Poppins2016 · 07/12/2025 07:28

This is an interesting thread.

So many responses along the lines of "don't be precious about your birthday, you're an adult".

But football is (just a game and) not worth being precious over either (especially if it's just watching on the TV vs having tickets to watch in person). A meaningful relationship is surely more important than watching TV...

It's 90 minutes in 24 hours, the birthday celebration can be moved the match can't. Most adults don't massively celebrate a birthday midweek when working. The responses are because it's easy to do both by celebrating the birthday at the weekend

Original poster
rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:32

The point here is that his priorities are wrong ultimately.

OP posts:
ProfessionalTeaDrinker · 07/12/2025 07:33

I also have a football birthday next year l. I have blocked off the calendar for the whole day as celebrations after seeing this 😆 The reality will either be us booking leave for a lunch of we have enough, or more likely an early dinner or takeaway and back for kick off. I have accepted my fate but will get as much as I can from it first 😆

AhBiscuits · 07/12/2025 07:34

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:32

The point here is that his priorities are wrong ultimately.

No, the point here is that you are choosing to make it You vs Football, when that isn't a choice that needs to be made. He can celebrate your birthday without also missing something which is important to him.

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 07/12/2025 07:37

The England matches are apparently going to be on in the middle of the night so unless you are planning your birthday meal for 3am there really isn’t a problem here.

Luxio · 07/12/2025 07:37

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:32

The point here is that his priorities are wrong ultimately.

I think it's actually your priorities that are wrong. You're expecting him to miss something that happens infrequently to go out for a meal midweek on your actual birthday when actually it's possible to celebrate your birthday and for him to also watch the game.

I doubt you go out together for a meal on your actual birthday ever year rather than celebrating at the weekend, so it just seems like you're choosing to make this into an argument for no reason.

Poppins2016 · 07/12/2025 07:37

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

This is my attitude too.

I understand that other people enjoy football (whereas I simply don't care about whether a ball lands in one net or the other). My husband and sons love it and I respect that.

But I really don't understand being precious about wanting to watch a match over spending quality time with your wife on her birthday. Surely, a birthday celebration and spending quality time together is more important than watching TV... If I was him I'd just record it and watch it later in the evening/the next day.

Edited to add, it's interesting that our opinions are deemed unreasonable on this thread... I wonder how much this accurately reflects "real life" (I suppose it depends how into football people are)!

HelmholtzWatson · 07/12/2025 07:39

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

Your birthday is an arbitrary date in the calendar. Grow up.

Original poster
rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:39

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 07/12/2025 07:37

The England matches are apparently going to be on in the middle of the night so unless you are planning your birthday meal for 3am there really isn’t a problem here.

No the timings are out . They vary between 7 and 9pm.

OP posts:
tragichero · 07/12/2025 07:39

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:21

But it’s a GAME! Not even the quarters, it’s a group GAME. Surely any decent person would prioritise their partner over a GAME.

Look at the language you are using - it's so emotive.

I am sure that if you were seriously ill or injured, he would miss the game to take you to hospital. In this sense, he would prioritise YOU, I don't doubt.

You are expecting him to put doing something with you that you could both as easily do on any other day, above a really important (to him) sporting event. This wouldn't be prioritising YOU, it would be prioritising your (somewhat selfish?) whim.

Just go for dinner the day afterwards. What possible difference can it make to you? But a world of difference to your husband.

Has the fact that pretty much everyone has said what I said made any difference to your thinking, OP?.

DappledThings · 07/12/2025 07:40

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:32

The point here is that his priorities are wrong ultimately.

In your opinion. And if you feel that strongly then you may have a significant problem.

Lots of people either don't particularly celebrate their birthday at all or happily move it to celebrating at the next most convenient day for all sorts of reasons, including watching or aying sport.

Original poster
rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:41

tragichero · 07/12/2025 07:39

Look at the language you are using - it's so emotive.

I am sure that if you were seriously ill or injured, he would miss the game to take you to hospital. In this sense, he would prioritise YOU, I don't doubt.

You are expecting him to put doing something with you that you could both as easily do on any other day, above a really important (to him) sporting event. This wouldn't be prioritising YOU, it would be prioritising your (somewhat selfish?) whim.

Just go for dinner the day afterwards. What possible difference can it make to you? But a world of difference to your husband.

Has the fact that pretty much everyone has said what I said made any difference to your thinking, OP?.

Show quote history

Not really. It’s my view. He could record it and watch it later.

OP posts:
HalfWayAroundTheLoop · 07/12/2025 07:42

Why bother asking OP as you clearly aren't going to change your mind!

Bjorkdidit · 07/12/2025 07:43

FFS the World Cup has to be about 6 months away and people are getting all angsty about it already?

Shouldn't you get moaning about the inadequacy of your Christmas present or Mother's Day offering out of the way first?

The world cup match is at a fixed time. So he can watch it live and you can do something else either with friends, relatives or alone. Then you can have a celebration with him on the day before or after. I don't see the issue.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 07/12/2025 07:45

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:41

Not really. It’s my view. He could record it and watch it later.

Show quote history

You've jumped the shark with that post, I'd quit now

EarringsandLipstick · 07/12/2025 07:45

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:41

Not really. It’s my view. He could record it and watch it later.

Show quote history

You hardly think this do you? That a committed football fan would really want to do this.

I can’t see the issue. Celebrate your birthday another day, I’m sure he’ll still mark it with a gift etc on the day.

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 07/12/2025 07:45

rainsbows · 07/12/2025 07:41

Not really. It’s my view. He could record it and watch it later.

Show quote history

You must’ve known when you married him that he was a big football fan, no? This is a once-in-four years event in which England are one of the four favourites to win. Your birthday could easily be celebrated twice - with a takeaway and fizz on the day of the match then a meal out the weekend before or after. It’s called compromise and it’s what good relationships are built upon.

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