World Cup is on my birthday

[rainsbows]

One of England’s group games is on my birthday. H has already added it to the calendar. I hate football with a passion and he knows this. Aibu to want him to celebrate my birthday with me rather than be glued to the tv??

No. You are being unreasonable to want your husband to prioritise his wife’s birthday over football.

She hasn’t accepted she’s being unreasonable, she’s accepted she’s in the minority…. That’s not the same

But surely you knew all that before you got married?

For a birthday that you will have a year later and could celebrate another day this year (because you’re an adult and shouldn’t care this much about birthdays at your age)? No.

YABU - to you it’s just a game, into football supporters it’s a few weeks to come together through love of the game and supporting England that only happens every 4 years.

I’m not a big football fan but I really dislike the sneering attitude of people trying to be cool ‘ooh it’s only a game who cares’ - it’s tiresome and boring.

Have a nice dinner the day before or after

The game is either at 9pm or 10pm so YABVU as you have the whole day to celebrate your birthday!

I'm a footie fan and thanks for the reminder, I will be blocking the dates in my diary all the way up to the final as I hate to miss an England game too and I really like to watch all the other games too if I can.

For what it's worth I agree with you OP and don't think it's unreasonable at all to feel a little hurt / disappointed.

Setting aside the issue of whether or not someone should expect to celebrate their birthday on the actual day, I'm genuinely baffled by the importance people place on watching some people kick a ball around on TV.

OP from the answers here it sounds like most of the posters on this thread don’t seem to value their birthdays very much (and for some reason seem incapable of imagining that that might not be the case for everyone).

Football is like a religion to lots of people; you may as well have blasphemed when you posted this.

The issue here seems to me to be how your husband has made you feel, and how (if?) he’s asked whether you’d mind him watching the match. It sounds like you feel he isn’t prioritising you (and to be honest it seems like he isn’t in this scenario). It’s disrespectful and passive aggressive of him to simply add the match to your calendar rather than saying “One of the World Cup games falls on your birthday - I’d really like to watch it, so I was thinking that I’d do XYZ nice things around it, and I’ll take you out for a nice evening on the weekend to make up for it. How does that sound?”

Birthdays are important in my family - they trump pretty much everything else in terms of making sure we’re around for one another, even if it’s not done as a big event. However, my partner makes me feel deeply valued the rest of the year. I’d probably feel frustrated if he sat for some of the limited time off I had on my birthday watching a sport I hated, but I trust that ultimately he’d prioritise me if I asked (and would be aware that it was taking the piss to just add it to our shared calendar without comment). Vice versa - I make sure I’m free on his birthday, and don’t book other things in. It’s his day.

You are not being unreasonable to be upset that your partner, who presumably knows you value your birthday, is being so inconsiderate of your feelings.

I feel like you could easily find a compromise so you can celebrate your birthday and your husband can watch the football, but you’re choosing to turn it into a fight. Why? All you’re going to achieve is a shit time for yourself - he misses the football and is miserable or he watches the football and you sulk and don’t celebrate your birthday at all.

It really isn’t as big a deal as you’re making it in to.

I think one of the England matches is on my birthday too, but

1. My husband hates football, and
2. I'll be away doing my own thing, as in most years, and so the birthday will pass unnoticed. Because I'm an adult, and it's really not important.

OP, just let your husband enjoy the match - if you insist on celebrating, them simply move the date. It's not complicated.

Yes, really.

Record it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh do behave

Are you 5 ?

Have a birthday week celebrating, I'm sure you have lots of other people in your life you can go out with on the actual day after you finish being a teacher. What would you go if your Head scheduled parents evening for that day or a school concert ?

Maybe you should stop trying to make the world revolve around you and revolve around the world for a new perspective. Get into the world cup, have a football birthday cake, paint a red cross on your face, have a few shandys and try and get into the swing of it.

I'd love it if an England game was on my birthday.

Genuine question, but is this an English thing, a class thing, other socio-cultural thing (as in, the whole adult birthday malarkey)?

Or a MN phenomenon?

It is an absolutely nothing day to me, a mere administrative occurrence. I’m from outside the UK.

You are being very dismissive about something he likes, and something lots g people like. Yes it's a game, but it's also only 90 minute of your day. Do you even like your boyfriend? Maybe just split up before then and find someone who likes the exact same things as you.

Yes really. Celebrate the day before or after the match. Make the match part of your celebrations.

And the proof you’re on the wind up is right here!

No grown adult is this ridiculous

Knew all that when I divorced him too.

Football wasn’t the reason we got divorced, but it’s a symptom of his man child selfishness. It’s not as irritating when you don’t have actual adult commitments, and hindsight is a wonderful thing!

It’s a game, life goes on.

Love a World Cup/Euro year on Mumsnet. Especially when people realise that .... shock... a pre recorded soap opera might be cancelled for something of national importance live sport

@rainsbows I’m very much about my birthday . However this match is later at night, you can’t have the day off anyway.
If he isn’t making an effort on another day at the weekend next to your birthday I’d be annoyed then .

Hopefully you still get flowers and a nice takeaway before the game. Then choose a treat for the weekend .

Yeah this is ludicrous. It's often on my birthday and is usually in the middle of the day.

The England game is at 9pm. Your birthday is almost over.

Recording it to watch it later is ridiculous. Most people don't watch old football games, and the result will be spoiled everywhere anyway.

Do you generally feel that he prioritises other things over you or is this a one off?

OP, I’ve noticed that a lot of people on mumsnet don’t seem to care for adults wanting to celebrate their birthdays.

Id be disappointed too, perhaps depending on how my partner plans to watch the match. If him and his mates go to the pub and make a social event of it, I wouldn’t want him to miss out. If he was planning on sitting and watching it at home alone on my birthday I might be more miffed.

Do something with the girls that night, and ask your boyfriend to plan something lovely for you the next day/weekend etc.

You are being ridiculous and very childish.

I do not like football and won’t be watching it but you’re acting like a child over your birthday.

You can literally just celebrate it the next day. Most people do something as a token on the day and then celebrate it properly on the weekend, even kids tend to have their parties on the weekends.