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Original poster

Friend ghosted after he saw her without makeup

183 replies

Heriam · 15/11/2025 08:06

My friend has been dating a man for quite some time now. They’ve slept together quite a few times, speak daily, talk about their lives etc.

She recently went bare faced in front of him via video chat and she hasn’t heard from him since.

I have no idea what to say to her. Please help me to make her feel better as she is devastated.
She doesn’t even wear a huge amount of make up. It was already the case that she was clearly more emotionally invested in him than he was in her. I mean, he liked her but not with the same intensity. She is now paralysed with anxiety and can barely function 😭

OP posts:
Bansheed · 17/11/2025 18:02

OP, you have serious issues about women, men and looks, I would recognise that and tell your friend to speak to someone who isn't neurotic themselves. If a man i don't find attractive looks at me, it is a neutral experience, not a blood curdling one. It is usually so brief anyway; it is never a defining moment. Unlike when someone hot does it - that is electric!

The situation you describe is incredibly destructive for the woman. She needs to be out of it. It has shades of masochist/ sadist about it and is downright cruel as the 'victim' seems to be clueless and hurt. Just nasty and her friend group seem to perpetuating the horror and narrative around looks being the issue.

Sidebeforeself · 17/11/2025 18:09

Heriam · 15/11/2025 08:44

This isn’t necessarily true. Having male friends teaches you this unfortunately. Many a men have told me that they’ll go where it’s offered. Regardless of what the woman looks like. It’s depressing as fuck and adds another level to dating complexity 😭😭

Atleast with women, we ARE attracted to you if we’re sleeping with yoU

Show quote history

Let’s not go so low as to lump all men together and all women together eh?

Missj25 · 17/11/2025 18:38

Heriam · 15/11/2025 08:32

Because people keep saying it’s superficial to not be attracted to someone. I don’t agree.

Also, my mistake, it wasn’t a video chat, she sent a no make up pic and he hasn’t spoken to her since. The ghosting is nasty as f**k. Send a polite response then ease into cutting the relationship over the next week or so.

Anyway, I have no idea what to say to make her feel better!!

Show quote history

I’m not even get into the ins & outs of why he ghosted her .. Ghosting is a shit way to treat anyone, he can’t be up to much .

You say to your friend , that’s he’s a DICK because he has been seeing her, (FWB) for 12 months , she tried to finish things a few times because she was getting attached , he played on those feelings so she would continue to have sex with him .. What an asshole ..

LoyalMember · 17/11/2025 21:32

It might not be that, and it could be convenient to blame it, but it could just as well be the guy was at the end of his tether because of her intensity. You said she didn't wear a lot of slap in the first place, so it sounds it's unlikely to be that.

ChachaIntheLongrun · 17/11/2025 22:26

LOL, thanks God for my brother who in my uni years told me to stop using too much make up and actually to stop using it all because the pretty girls don't need it...So I actually listened

Mrswhiskers87 · 17/11/2025 22:37

Thegreatbigzebraintheroom · 15/11/2025 08:15

This. Does he wear make up? Does he have the awfully named pink tax and wear make up, pluck his brows etc

I don’t wear make up and haven’t got 10 years I went all sort feministic about it when my daughter was about 10 and pretty much threw it all out.

I dye my hair as I don’t like its colour and have a good cut every 8 weeks and pants and bras are comfortable.

Tell her to make sure the next one sees her running and up to her armpits in mud and see if she likes him then.

Tell her to raise her bar !! Not with buying over priced crap for her face but finding a decent human being! And block him

Show quote history

Wearing make up doesn’t mean you can’t be a feminist. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Missj25 · 18/11/2025 07:35

ChachaIntheLongrun · 17/11/2025 22:26

LOL, thanks God for my brother who in my uni years told me to stop using too much make up and actually to stop using it all because the pretty girls don't need it...So I actually listened

What is exactly the point of your post 🙄

HelpMeGetThrough · 18/11/2025 08:09

“make my "skin curdle" as you put it- I think you mean "blood" there.”

Could be the makeup curdling. 🤷‍♀️

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