Friend ghosted after he saw her without makeup

[Heriam]

My friend has been dating a man for quite some time now. They’ve slept together quite a few times, speak daily, talk about their lives etc.

She recently went bare faced in front of him via video chat and she hasn’t heard from him since.

I have no idea what to say to her. Please help me to make her feel better as she is devastated.
She doesn’t even wear a huge amount of make up. It was already the case that she was clearly more emotionally invested in him than he was in her. I mean, he liked her but not with the same intensity. She is now paralysed with anxiety and can barely function 😭

Are you the ex?

If they've slept together he'll have seen her looking worse then with no make up on so that's unlikely to be the reason

On poster’s other FWB thread she fully admits to many issues around self esteem and not knowing what good men look like, so I’m not surprised her posts here are ‘off’.

Very true, when I think of the times DH has driven me to hospital in the middle of the night, if someone is only there when everything is going well they’re not a keeper.

So is she the “ friend” in this scenario?

Who can say 🤔

I can’t understand why your ‘friend’ would feel the need to keep makeup on all the time? Does ‘she’ suffer from low self esteem or have hang ups about her looks?. It’s really sad that ‘she’ wore waterproof makeup and touched up in the morning (your words). And to keep that up for a year. Sounds exhausting. Being ghosted is horrible no doubt about that. You need to focus more on the positive things in life and the people who make you feel good.

I’m not. Just very familiar with male psyche.

She text him!! She asked him if he’s attracted to her. He said he likes her as a person but she isn’t necessarily his type physically 😭

I haven’t even opened the message as I have no idea what to say to that! Would you have a FWB who didn’t find you attractive?

Thinking about it, I remember her telling me a couple of times that he never looks at her during vaginal or oral sex and generally turns the lights out. This is getting more and more grim ffs.

I don’t even think she should respond. It’s time to MOVE ON!

Exactly which is why I’m a terrible person to advise in situations like this and wanted to get some healthier opinions!

Your posts read like they are written by three different people. I think you and ‘your friend’ are possibly fuelling each others’ issues. He is toxic. She should have moved on months ago.

If this is even remotely true, you don’t sound like a nice friend.

In fact, you sound like a bloke pushing some dumb agenda about women ‘deceiving’ men by wearing make up.

Oh so she was a fuck buddy to him. She’s wasted enough time on him!
He’s probably found somebody he wants to date or she’s said something on the FaceTime that’s made him withdraw.

I’m about to open her message. What do I say to her about his response 😳

I have my own issues which is why I am seeking advice about what to say.

I don’t think you should be essentially live tweeting her break up for the edification of strangers on MN.

Tell her she is beautiful and he is a horrible man playing with her feelings. She should block him and be more choosy with future partners because she deserves so.much better.

Does your friend know you are posting about her on MN @Heriam ?

The updates get more grim each update
She has been having sex with a man who won’t make eye contact?
This is a woman who needs to work on self worth and that isn’t located in a make up bag or sex with emotionally unavailable creeps

This, in spades.

My younger cousin is stunningly beautiful. But then I saw her without makeup and she looks like a completely different person. I genuinely thought she was somebody else at first. It's remarkable at how much make up changes how you look

But I think the point here is that he didn't seem to find her unattractive first up; your op made it sound as though it was the make-up free appearance after he had been sleeping with her more than once.

That's different from attraction as an initial spark of interest. Normally people develop other forms of appreciation that manage to slant away from just appearance.

I think some men can't see past the 'paint'. I mean everything is still the same, nose is the same size, eyes are the same, cheekbones are the same - make up is good but it doesn't do miracles (as I know to my cost).

So either this man was incredibly stupid and was looking at the friend as though she were a painting and was unable to see that there was a real woman underneath, or it's nothing to do with the make up. It's make up, not a full face transplant.

Just because he is not attracted to her doesn’t mean she is isn’t attractive or that someone else will not find her attractive. It is just a no go with this one and time to move on.

Men dont care at all about make up thats not why she was dumped, she was dumped because shes hugely insecure and he picked up on it and had enough, and now you are taking on her problems, if she cakes it on and uses it as a mask maybe she should stop,