Friend ghosted after he saw her without makeup

[Heriam]

My friend has been dating a man for quite some time now. They’ve slept together quite a few times, speak daily, talk about their lives etc.

She recently went bare faced in front of him via video chat and she hasn’t heard from him since.

I have no idea what to say to her. Please help me to make her feel better as she is devastated.
She doesn’t even wear a huge amount of make up. It was already the case that she was clearly more emotionally invested in him than he was in her. I mean, he liked her but not with the same intensity. She is now paralysed with anxiety and can barely function 😭

Agree with this.

This
sounds like he was going to ghost her anyway

Why is she telling you all this in such detailed terms? Surely 'he doesn't make eye contact during sex' would be enough.

I don't think it bodes well for any relationship if every little detail of it, including sex, is subsequently analysed with a third party.

Whatever - he's gone off her. He's allowed to do that, whatever his reasons. He's now told her this. She needs to move on. End of story.

I had an ex boyfriend who used to say things like, can you put some lipstick or something on, if I met him with no or little make up (straight after work when it had faded). I thought it was a really cunty thing to say. I split with him though he ironically didn’t actually want us to, but I’d had enough of his ‘ways’ by then.

I'll be honest, depends how much makeup she wears and whether its a case of cat fishing.

Wrong sequence - first sleep then no makeup? It is best to establish first that the person you are sleeping with is not superficial pos, then dive into the sack.

If she only wears light make up it could just be a coincidence. In my experience, women who wear light makeup don't look all that different without it. It's only the ones who wear very heavy makeup with the full contour, drawn on eye brows and fake lashes that can look very different. Most men that I know don't even notice the difference between light make up and no make up either.

With his body & a shovel 😂 no seriously she can’t take people’s behaviour personally. Move on….

@Heriam you tell your friend he is a dick. She deserves better. It says more about him than her as she is a decent person .

You tell her it’s normal to feel hurt the way she does and you’re sorry. Tell her she will meet someone who thinks she is perfect for him .

Then you offer lunch and drinks or wine and a movie tonight .
Tell her she is amazing and gorgeous.

This post is sponsored by Boots. 2+2 getting 5

It's got nothing to do with her make up and everything do with how spineless and foul men are. Breathwork through the anxiety then some self confience work, decentralise men all together and focus on her n life will be better. She had for whatever reason a lucky escape

Your level of detail suggests you are the “friend” but if you’re not, please stop sharing all the gross details, it’s really disrespectful.

Your poor friend. Today’s dating game seems brutal.

I have been following someone online recently (Chantal Heide). She has a method for weeding out potential partners just like this and should I ever find myself in the unenviable position that I need/want to find someone to share my life with I would definitely follow her rules to dating which include: no kissing, sex, sleepovers etc etc, in the first three months.

This gives enough time to weed out anyone who is shallow, only after sex etc, it also gives a fair amount of time to evaluate the man/woman to see if they have the values that are important to the person following the rules. This also saves us from getting too emotionally invested.

This lady has written a few books on the topic…maybe you could buy your friend one for Xmas. She is most definitely worth ten times what that chap is…she just needs to understand that.

Makeup isn’t the enemy of feminism.

You say ahh sorry mate ..well at least you got yours for a bit too ..what a wanker don't even reply mate block him n il buy lunch

You say ahh sorry mate ..well at least you got yours for a bit too ..what a wanker don't even reply mate block him n il buy lunch

He is a dick for trying to ghost her after they had a sustained sexual relationship. That being the person he is, she is better off without him and his reasons for it really don't matter.

However, unless she was performing actual witchcraft with makeup (and some people can but you say she wasn't wearing much), then even in the hideousness of the webcam, she isn't going to look THAT different, and we all know when someone we know looks fine in reality is just a victim of the front facing camera. You say he was always a bit off physically anyway; sounds to me like as well as being a shit who ghosts people, he's a shit who uses women for sex even when he's never been very into them (what's that saying - women can fake orgasms, men can fake entire relationships). A lot of men are totally capable of taking the benefits of reliable sex even when they don't much fancy the woman, even just physically, and then just cutting and running when they've had enough.

Whatever the blah blah of it, it all comes down to the same thing: he's a knob, he's a user, he's a dickhead and he's weak. As the Americans would say, the trash took itself out.

Honestly maybe she dropped a bombshell that she didn’t realise, maybe he was trying to end it with her … the only person who knows is him but I honestly would find it insane for it to be over make up

Make up is not the issue. her low self esteem and his boorish behaviour is the issue
I love make up and perfume, and my self esteem is not dependent upon it

Well open and see what she actually says?

Ultimately if this is about a friend, you can just say I'm sorry you've been hurt. Not your picnic really.

You do all that but no foundation or blusher?

I agree with this!
Some of the online make up videos show super model faces (under 20 layers of contouring/shading/etc) and the true face underneath is of a girl next door, pretty but average looking woman.
I’m sure there’s lots of guys who’d find her attractive but it’s a shock and incredibly misleading to wipe away a mask and see someone you don’t recognise.

How much makeup is she wearing and does she look anything like her true self with it on?

👀. Kmdt 🙄

I doubt it has anything to do with the make-up and more to do with him probably seeing someone else.

Oh, your poor friend if that is the reason. She's dodged a bullet if so. Who do these so-called men think they are?!