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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Long winded text I've written to send to a man I like, thoughts?!

436 replies

BeBe05 · 09/11/2025 16:58

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

OP posts:
Donttellempike · 09/11/2025 17:09

Anyone would run a mile if they received this, and probably block you. Keep it breezy as said by PPs

Parsleysalad · 09/11/2025 17:10

Holy fuck dont send that.

Just ask if you fancy a drink let me know

Sparkletastic · 09/11/2025 17:10

Noooooooo!

BittyItty · 09/11/2025 17:11

Pls do not send that.

Viviennemary · 09/11/2025 17:11

That is ridiculous. Please dont send it. Just a short message as others have suggested will do perfectly well.

TreesOfGreen99 · 09/11/2025 17:11

So I agree, please don’t send that.

But it sounds as though you’re also looking for help around football(?) training pick-ups as you’re younger DC are in bed?
If so, why not just ask for help with football and offer him a coffee then?

Pancakeflipper · 09/11/2025 17:12

Could you not text " would you like to come over one evening for a drink?"

They don't need your inner thoughts and life story now.

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 09/11/2025 17:14

Do NOT send that!

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 09/11/2025 17:15

TreesOfGreen99 · 09/11/2025 17:11

So I agree, please don’t send that.

But it sounds as though you’re also looking for help around football(?) training pick-ups as you’re younger DC are in bed?
If so, why not just ask for help with football and offer him a coffee then?

This... use the natural situation as a way in. Or offer a favour in return and then try to initiate a friendship that way.

Terrytheweasel · 09/11/2025 17:17

ahoyshipmate · 09/11/2025 17:07

Plus, to add a bit more, please don’t tell potential dates that you have no self esteem, low confidence and are used to being a doormat and treated badly. Only someone seeking to abuse that position would respond with any enthusiasm. I think you need to work on yourself and get support/therapy before starting a relationship.

sound advice. Listen to this OP!

Definitely don’t send the message and in future never ever send messages to anyone that long. You can leave a little voice note or short text just saying ‘hey shall we have a drink sometime? And he will either say yes, no or ignore it (which means no)

well done for checking on here first before sending!

dontforgettofloss · 09/11/2025 17:18

I do feel for you OP, I used to be a “long winded texter “ thinking that if I poured my heart out it would get to them and make them like me more. I’ve learnt that less is more, honestly, just ask him over for a drink and see what he says x

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 09/11/2025 17:21

Oh god please don’t.

There are inside thoughts, and outside thoughts. Most of those are inside thoughts. Just ask him for a drink.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 09/11/2025 17:22

Also, not going to lie, you send like a self absorbed red flag in this.

Heylittlesongbird · 09/11/2025 17:23

DO NOT SEND THAT TEXT

Sorry for shouting.

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 09/11/2025 17:23

Genuinely, read it back.

How do you think it comes across?

Blueuggboots · 09/11/2025 17:24

Good god.

hi T, do you fancy a drink sometime?
done.

SpigTheFish · 09/11/2025 17:26

I hope to god that this is a joke and written using AI.

Pollqueen · 09/11/2025 17:27

Lord, I'd think you'd lost your mind if I received that. Just ask if he fancies a drink sometime

thistimelastweek · 09/11/2025 17:27

Heylittlesongbird · 09/11/2025 17:23

DO NOT SEND THAT TEXT

Sorry for shouting.

This through a loudspeaker

Ihavepaidalotforthisstory · 09/11/2025 17:28

This cannot be real.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 09/11/2025 17:30

How about “hey would you like to come over one evening for a drink?” Should do it.

Starlight7080 · 09/11/2025 17:30

I hope you have not sent that. It screams desperate and needy. And I bet you are a lovely person . Who obviously has low self esteem.
I would forget about him (atleast for now). And focus on yourself. Your self esteem and self worth.
The fact you are strongly remembering and mentioning past bad experiences to him shows you are not over them and they are impacting your life now.
You need therapy not a man.

101Alsatians · 09/11/2025 17:30

Break it down to -

Hey T, how are you?Just wondering if you fancy a drink sometime? No worries if not :)

Job done minus cringe

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/11/2025 17:30

Oh op, do not, I repeat do not, send that. Read it back and have a serious think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed. You sound beyond batshit, sorry. What’s wrong with ‘fancy a drink sometime?’….

Brickiscool · 09/11/2025 17:31

Oh dear god. If you'd stopped after sentence 2 then maybe a yes. But after the rest of that it would be a fuck no from me.