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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Long winded text I've written to send to a man I like, thoughts?!

436 replies

BeBe05 · 09/11/2025 16:58

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

OP posts:
Mumlife2019 · 09/11/2025 18:19

Jesus definitely not. If I got that message I’d not reply and avoid ever running into you again I think 🙈

as others have said, would you like to have a drink some time is all that needs to be said in this situation I think.

ohyesido · 09/11/2025 18:20

Why do you keep saying he won’t? That’s bound to put him off

Irenesortof · 09/11/2025 18:20

Why on earth would you send that? What are you trying to tell him?

FeliciaFancybottom · 09/11/2025 18:20

It reads like an attempt at pity marketing. Ask him for a drink by all means, but leave all the other stuff out.

shhblackbag · 09/11/2025 18:20

Also, no one would read a text novel like that from a stranger. I would likely delete on sight tbh.

Mumlife2019 · 09/11/2025 18:20

Mumlife2019 · 09/11/2025 18:19

Jesus definitely not. If I got that message I’d not reply and avoid ever running into you again I think 🙈

as others have said, would you like to have a drink some time is all that needs to be said in this situation I think.

Also really do not agree with inviting men over when the kids are in bed, I could never.

5dollah · 09/11/2025 18:21

OP please don't message him that. He'll think you're absolutely nuts.

Bumcake · 09/11/2025 18:21

Don’t ask him out, you’re too deranged for a relationship.

JollyLilacBee · 09/11/2025 18:21

Do not send the message

Do not shag your kids football coach

It will not end well

BonneMaman77 · 09/11/2025 18:22

Sounds like you found a decent man. If you really want something with him, then just say: Hi, would like to come around for a drink sometime?
He will just say yes or no plus maybe something in addition.
Give him a date and time and let him it’s around your kids and ask if that works for him.

Uricon2 · 09/11/2025 18:22

Please just don't. It will turn you into a slightly tatty, very needy, red flag to any decent man. I've never made myself so vulnerable to 2 (lovely) husbands.

If you feel bold, ask him if he fancies going for coffee or a drink sometime (and develop a perfect understanding of the offside rule)

ohyesido · 09/11/2025 18:22

Notchangingnameagain · 09/11/2025 18:17

Hi Steve, it’s Kate, How are you? I hope you have had a nice weekend. If you are free one night next week, would you like to pop round for a drink? (After 7.30pm when the kids are in bed). Hope to see you soon x

Hi Steve it’s Kate would you like to get into my bed if you are free one night?

(is how this reads)

Loloblue · 09/11/2025 18:22

BeBe05 · 09/11/2025 16:58

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

You'll be embarrassed about this later. Also get your 'your/you're' right...

ParmaVioletTea · 09/11/2025 18:22

No, no, no, no.

He’s obviously not that into you and you can do far better than begging.

Find your dignity and self-worth, because you’re worth more than this!!!!

DetectiveDouche · 09/11/2025 18:22

Butchyrestingface · 09/11/2025 18:08

Does anyone think OP hasn't returned to the thread because ... she's already sent the text? <insert wee second-hand mortified face>

No. I think she hasn't returned because it's not real

Cardamomandlemons · 09/11/2025 18:22

I was a "no" based on the thread title without reading the text. Like everyone said, keep it super short and light. "Fancy a drink sometime?"

Highlighta · 09/11/2025 18:24

This would be a big fat nope.

But I hope you feel better typing that all out.

And then deleting it. This is the most crucial part.

KimTheresPeopleThatAreDying · 09/11/2025 18:25

No.

SisterTeatime · 09/11/2025 18:25

No, it sounds completely and utterly mental, and you should not arrange a first date at your own house with your children there. If you are real, just speak to him next time you see him!

BauhausOfEliott · 09/11/2025 18:26

Please tell me you haven’t actually sent that. It’s very over-the-top and emotionally intense and I think most people would be quite unsettled to receive it.

I don’t want to be a total arsehole here… but is this how you usually communicate? Because if I received this, I honestly think I’d wonder if the sender was OK. To me, it reads like someone having a bit of a mental health crisis. It reminds me of some messages I received from a friend once who was bipolar and at the start of a manic episode.

ForDreamyJoker · 09/11/2025 18:27

I can tell you've been hurt alot by the other sex over the years your message sounds an awful amount like it would if I wrote it. I wouldn't send it lovely as like others said it could result in alot of pressure on the man you want to send it too. I would play it easy and not throw everything at him all at once which I know is easier said than done as my husband tells me often when im meeting a new person not to give my full life story which I have to work hard not to because im pretty much an open book. I would just simply ask if he would fancy coming over sometime for a drink once your kids are in bed as you like him or want to get to know him better. Good luck lovely

Dita73 · 09/11/2025 18:28

Are you bloody high?! For the sake of insecure women everywhere,do not send that text!!!!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 09/11/2025 18:32

Noooo! It sounds far too apologetic, needy and insecure.

Less is more. Just ask “wondered if you fancied coming round for a drink one evening?” and go from there.

GreyCarpet · 09/11/2025 18:32

I've read your post OP an no responses. But I'd be absolutely amazed if anyone thinks that's a good idea.

More than that, it's terrifying. Do not send that under any circumstances. Get therapy and talk about Lawrence to them.

5128gap · 09/11/2025 18:33

I think some of it is great, but it needs editing.
I like "Hi T do you fancy a drink" and I think "have a nice evening" works at the end.
If you just lose everything in between it's perfect.