Partner accidentally hurt child

[Sccrumb]

My partner accidentally hurt our child. It led to a big injury for them. He kept blaming our child. They are 3 nearly 4. In my eyes he kept nagging our child all day and wound the child up. It all came to head at bed time. I left them alone for two seconds and our child had hurt him physically and he accidentally hurt them back by reflex.

We are meant to be getting married soon. We live together and also have an older DC and baby. I can't look at him the same despite the fact I know he would never deliberately hurt our children. It was such a scary injury and I couldn't sleep from fear that our child would go downhill over night. He on the other hand, slept quite soundly.

What do I do? Help me. My head is a mess and I'm extremely hormonal being pp.

Protect your DC from this aggressive man.

The child needs checking for internal damage if kicked by an adult. I have seen cases where children have been killed after kicking from an adult as a result of internal damage. Im sorry if this worries you further when you’re already struggling OP, but it’s really important

Exactly.

OP can remain in denial until the day when the child needs medical treatment for an 'accidental' injury and says daddy did it, then she will be (rightly) held jointly to blame for not protecting the child. Being pp or having pnd or being sleep deprived will not wash as excuses with the authorities..

@Sccrumb this incident is your wake-up call.
You need to raise a safeguarding concern about your child re his father.
Take him to the doctor and tell them your partner has difficulties regulating his frustration around your child.

This is the point. He has hurt your child in anger- not reflex! I have been hurt many many times by children (my own and at work) I have never ever hurt a child in return.
Quite simply he is not safe to be around your child alone. He needs to seek help from his GP for his anger and also go on a parenting course (health visitor probably can help with this)
He was physically abusive to your child. If you do not safe guard your child then you are culpable. Both in law and morally.
You must put your child’s safety before anything else.
I would ask him to move out while he seeks help to minimise him being alone with the child/children.

To summarise all the posts before the OP left:

Her partner accidentally hurt her toddler (by reflex) and she was upset that he wasn't bothered by it. Then she revealed he'd kicked the child so hard that he flew across his room and hurt himself in the landing. Then it transpired that the partner has a problem with anger, which he can't control, and the child winds him up. She's insinuated that the child has been quite badly injured but a 'medical person' has looked at the child, although she's added that she will wait a couple more days to take the child to a GP.

Not sure what's more disturbing - the partner doing this, the partner not being bothered that he did this or her not getting medical attention for her child because she seems to be worried that her partner will get into trouble / potentially even have the child taken into care

This post has me shaking with fury. Not least because there is nothing the rest of us can do about it. Your child needs to be safeguarded as a matter of some urgency. You can't cause a serious injury to a child by accident. And if you were so worried about your child deteriorating overnight why didn't you take them to A&E while your partner was soundly asleep? You don't know anything about this man to be able to say that he would not hurt your DC. How long have you known him? This is one of the worst posts I have ever read on MN. Shame on you.

there could be an injured child somewhere not getting medical treatment. If so I hope they are found by someone with their best interests at heart. If this is a genuine post that is. Im hoping its a wind up.

This would warrant and immediate referral to social care. Chances are, as your child has a serious injury and your are REFUSING to report and seek assistance - and emergency order to remove your children from your care. Wake up.

What’s that well known name then, shit parenting?

You know that if anything happened to your child and say, they were killed from an injury in these circumstances - You yourself could be prosecuted for allowing your child to be harmed and not protecting them ie causing or allowing their death. You don’t have to be the one to strike the final blow, just being a shit parent is enough. Now that there is a history, you actually have no basis to say you’ve never witnessed your child be hurt or your partner being violent and cruel, you’ve had to tell him to control himself all day in a failed attempt to stop him attacking a 3/4 year old.

What did I just read ! Did your child get a serious head injury and you did not get it checked out at the hospital for fear of explaining his dad did it?
You both should be ashamed of yourselves. He for doing it and you for not putting your dc first.
He obviously lost his temper. And then covered it up and you believed him.

She is more insistent that the child did her partner harm than that partner harmed the child. This alone is cause for concern, let alone the serious injury sustained by the child.

@Sccrumb if you are still reading, please don’t wait to get your child to hospital. Help is available for your ppd and for your child’s injury. Any medical professional will want to keep you and your children safe. It means being completely honest with them about how the injury happened, which will take courage from you.

OP, you have said your DH has anger issues. He was deliberately winding a 3 year old up ALL DAY, despite your repeated requests to calm down. At the end of the day, you had to step in to calm the situation, then the second you left the room, this 'accident' happened. You were worried all night about your child, while your DH slept sondly and doesn't seem to be particularly apologetic at all. Angry men get worse with each child that comes along. Please call women's aid, even if it's just someone to talk to at this stage.

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

If the injury is serious, why have you not sought medical assistance?

Who checked him over? Someone at your local practice?

"DC got serious injury"

Regardless of HOW it WHY it happened, THIS is what your focus should be on now. Please take your dc to be evaluated.

Your partner did NOT accidentally hurt your child. No other words or thoughts are needed. Please protect your child, leave your partner.

They haven’t. Any one with safeguarding knowledge would known, a medical professional would - would be legally bound to report this. They could face prosecution and being struck off themselves of not. So she is lying.

@OP You need to get your child checked over today. He/she might have a bleed on the brain for all you know.

That's not an 'accident'.

Your child wasn't hurt 'accidentally' by your partner.

Kicking a tiny child, a 3 year old, isn't 'instinctive' in the situation you've described. No one I know who works with small children, NUMEROUS small children at a time, would ever last out 'instinctively' at them in the way you've described. It's utter bollocks if this is his 'story' and you're defending him.

You're married to an abusive arsehole who has anger issue, likes to wind them up then blames them when it's gone too far and they don't calm down, and who thinks it's then okay to hurt children when things aren't going his way.

I'm sorry you have PND, OP, that that doesn't excuse or minimise your partner's behaviour here.

I really hope your child has been seen in A&e a serious injury requires medical advice.
I really hope mumnet can get help sent to your child. Your not protecting him so someone else needs to step in to do that.
I can't believe what I've been reading your trying to down play your partners. Behaviour.

It will get worse. Protect your children right now, break this off.

Who was 'someone medical' who looked at him? Presumably not a doctor or even a nurse?

I presume not, too. If they were a doctor or a nurse, they would know that they have a duty to raise a safeguarding.

This is shocking. Lashing out and kicking a small child isn't an accident, it's battery.