To ask out cute cafe guy or not...

[Sodthesystem]

So, I was out for lunch with a friend the other day and there was this guy I notic

FFS don't you hate it when the phone page skips and you hit post by mistake grr.

Try again lol.

So, there was this guy I noticed working at the cafe and the thing I noticed was what a kind expression he had. He just gave off such warmth. And so... I had another little look. And he's also totally my type.

But, probably too young for me. I'm 35 and looking at him I'd guess he was only maybe 24ish.

And also, it's his workplace so I wouldnt want to make anyone uncomfortable.

But I keep thinking back to him. And I haven't liked anyone at first glance or, generally tbh xD in years. And I'm tempted to go back and give him my number.

Would you chance it?

No

No due to the age gap but that's my personal preference.

Honestly, no.

I used to get older guys at my work asking me out, passing their numbers etc because I was being kind and doing my job.

It creeped me out, made me feel uncomfortable and was just awkward when they came back in.

Someone being warm and kind in their place of work where they are paid to be kind, isn't the same as meeting in a pub or whatever and hitting it off.

No. Not at someone’s place of employment when they’re actually working op.

Yeah that was my worry. But then I think the problem is with men that they often don't take a no. Or we worry they won't. Not that women can't be awful that way too TBF.

I'm guessing men working in food cafes probably don't get women asking them out the same as women in bars though.

It wasn't when he was serving. Yes of course people generally act friendly when serving customers. I'd ordered and was waiting and he just had this lovely vibe about him. Though TBF I did wonder if he was thinking about someone he liked.

It just reminded me of that story by royal dahl when he talks about when people are good it shines out of them :)

No - leave the young man alone, he's working

No.

Leave people at work alone. He's being warm and kind because he's paid to be, not because he wants to go out with you.

I say yes, as long as it’s subtle and doesn’t put him in an awkward position (and you don’t have to go back there if he doesn’t take you up on it).

Life is short.

Omg what is wrong with everyone. Where is the romance?

I say go for it but maybe ask him to follow you on social media as it's less weird or try to find out his name and add him. I've done this and it worked. Go for it life is short.

Yeah I mean I thought I'd just order a tea to go and at collection (provided no other staff are around that might poke fun or something) give him my number on a bit of paper and say 'by the way, you have this lovely vibe about you and I wanted to give you my number, no pressure, just if you're interested. Have a lovely day' and leave.

Thinking as a woman I'd maybe have a worry that the guy might come back and be weird though. So maybe he'd worry too. I might not think I'm scary but I'm sure no one thinks that about themselves lol.

I know what you mean about those rare people light shines out of them. Is it possible you aren't attracted to him but just recognized this

Not really got any prospects if he works in a cafe unless it’s part time and he’s studying.

If you did date him you’d be paying for everything or going without.

No he's far too young for you.

I'd say that if the sexes were reversed, too.

He hasn't been through the developmental milestones of his twenties yet. He has a lot of growing up to do.

Yes this is a possibility too. We might have nothing in common lol. But maybe if he's a nice lad we'd end up friends. Or fond social media aquaintances who share a funny story xD

Can't believe all the no replies. Go for it I say. What's the worse that could happen. Just write your number on the back of the bill and hand it to him, smile, then walk out the door.

I mean not necessarily, it's not like I need expensive dates. Plus, maybe he gets a cafe discount.

I don't really care about prospects I care about kindness. Who or any of us to judge someone who shows up to work with such a warm smile and positive attitude each day.

Yes, joy doesn't necessarily put food on the table. And may reduce substantially when money is short. That is fair. But anyone can improve their prospects at any time in life. And plenty of poor men are generous, plenty of rich, tight as a badgers arse.

Besides, it's a date I'm looking for...not marriage 5 kids and a mortgage lol.

Good for you!
Go back and ask him out.
What have you got to lose?

No.

He's working. Also the age gap for your 35 to his early 20s is a bit much. I'd say the same for a 35 year old dude hitting on a waitress in her early 20s because I was that waitress/bartender. There's a power and earnings and life experience imbalance.

Guys who work food service have people hitting on them just like women do.

What a strange attitude. He could have a degree or be training to be a doctor for all anyone knows.

Anyone who has ever worked retail or service knows being hit on by someone ten years your senior while at work is not romantic.

Go for it you lucky devil! At worst you might get a few nights of hot steamy passion with a young and virile buck! But at best this gentleman could be the very man of your dreams ready to sweep you off your feet!

It is as they say, nothing ventured nothing gained. Oh to be young again 🤗

I don't know for sure he's 24. But I'd guess somewhere around 24-26 so I gave the youngest estimate. I didn't want to keep looking too closely at his face like a weirdo lol. But I did think he was a little younger than what I'd usually date (26-38). But tbh I'm not fussed. I look young for my age (I think lol. I mean maybe everyone says that to be fair. But a bus driver thought I was under 21 the other week lol).

Now imagine this was a man in his mid 30's talking about an early 20's woman just trying to do her job. "A night of hot and steamy passion with a young and fertile doe". You literally sound like a sweaty drooling letch.

But yeah I get the point about life stages and experiences etc ..