To ask out cute cafe guy or not...

[Sodthesystem]

So, I was out for lunch with a friend the other day and there was this guy I notic

Agree with this. Seems an odd thing to do when OP seemingly hasn't even spoken to him.

Were they talking about the view out of the window?

Putting up with sexual harassment is not part of a customer facing job.

Putting up with shitty customers, rude customers, lying customers etc etc are all part of a customer facing role, yes. Suggesting that sexual harassment falls into the same category as 'shit customer behaviour ' is inaccurate, and suggesting that someone isn't suited to customer facing work because they won't accept sexual harassment would indicate a hefty amount of internalised misogyny.

Haha. Apparently he thought so at first - but then they made it clear it was him.

Honestly... It's been years and he still goes on about it.

I wouldn't be brave enough to do this. I've had this guy on my mind for 10 months. We were friends several years ago. But I could never reach out to him

I mean it's no different from online dating (well it is but it's like the opposite differencs).You've never spoken to them either but you match and you have no idea if you'll fancy them in person but you go out.

This way I know I fancy him at least. And he seems pleasant. And he has a job. Let's face it, that's more than you know before you go on a date sometimes xD

He may be missing the bio but TBF most men don't fill that in anyway lol.

And what about snogging in nightclubs. Chances are you've never said two words to that person either xD. And this is just giving him my number not my lips lol.

Jesus, what is with the negativity on here?

Why are people just so into this "Woke" nonsense?!

If you are into him then absolutely ask him out, or tell him you are at least interested.

If he says no, or gets all embarrassed or awkward then shit happens!

Not going to end the world.

Do it! .

Of course it's different to online dating, where both parties have put themselves in a position to message and meet people. So contact is expected. This guy is just doing his job.

Also I hope you wouldn't just go up and snog a random guy without any indication that he's interested too.

Yes but we're a bit off topic because giving someone your number is not harassment. If you kept showing up and badgering them then yes, absolutely.

That's also why Im reluctant to take up suggestions that I go along and try to strike up conversation whilst he is working. That would possibly be irritating for someone just trying to work. And if I were flirting it might make him uncomfortable.

But a quick hello, here's my number and cheerio. Meh. Not something I see a guy having a problem with tbh.

No. I'm your age and recently got asked for my # by a 25 year old. I declined. I just can't see myself with anyone under 30.

Random men just come up and ask women out all the time.

I was in the gym the othet day. A man i had never seem before came up to me and asked me did I want to go for a coffee.

I said No. He took the No. We went on with our lives.

It wasnt that i didnt like him really. He actually was attractive

I just was really not in the mood to date ANYONE at that time.

Its not that big of a deal

And if you get rejected OP remember rejection is not often even about you, sometimes the person doesn't want to date anyone at all.

No harm in asking. You won't know unless you ask

OMG

Does he work at a bakery/cafe in Canary Wharf and is he called Sam?!

I fell for him last year too 😂

Incidentally I was 35 as well, but I’ve always gone for younger men. I didn’t have the balls to ask him out, plus he didn’t seem particularly interested in me, so I left it. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go for it, OP. What have you got to lose? Good luck!

Awe you should!

I guess it's hard in different ways though cause there's probably feelings there too not just fancy.

I'm sure if he's your friend he'll be happy to hear from you though! You could just ask for a catch up as friends and sus things out from there?

The chances aren't very high that it is the same man....

How is it like online dating? With OLD, you know you’re both up for something, possibly not with each other but you’re putting yourself out there. This fella is just going to work. You have no idea if this bloke is straight, single or looking.

An influencer I followed once fancied a bloke in similar circumstances and insisted they had a connection. She went on to find him on insta and message him and although he was actually good about it (he was married and not interested), you could tell he was actually quite perturbed by it all. It really divided her followers, some saying it was fine to seek him out like this and others saying she was out of order.

People are entitled to go to work and not have customers approach them because they fancy them.

Haha no! I love Canary wharf though.

Yeah I mean it sounds like you sussed it out and decided against it. Then again he may have been too busy and just not expecting someone to show interest.

I mean I guess I could test the water with a flirt or two first but...knowing me I'd trip over my words and he'd think I was having a stroke lol.

The world must be filled with these crushes that go unsaid. Sam's loss!

I don't feel like I could do it in a casual way. Because there was an undeniable connection there, and I cut him out my life. (Got tired of waiting) Also I have no way to contact him. He could contact me me thru my family though. I wish he would. I imagine just running into him randomly. Its funny how you can love someone and not really get how important they are till it's too late

You're right, I do have no idea. That's why I'd be giving him by number. So that if he is straight and interested, he can choose to contact me.
Or not.

Oh just give him the number.

I mean to be fair it sounds like he was wasting your time so, maybe the reason he's so important is actually because he showed you that even if you like someone, you are worth a certain degree of treatment and that you can act that way in respect of yourself and cut off people who don't value you.

Yeah I mean guys these days keep saying they are scared to approach women and mostly I'd say that's a cop out but some of the replies here make me wonder lol.

Yeah, go the old fashioned way and ask for his Snap 😂

I’ve no idea what up with my typos. I should look at what I type 😳