To ask out cute cafe guy or not...

[Sodthesystem]

So, I was out for lunch with a friend the other day and there was this guy I notic

Not me reading through to spot the typos and still not noticing them 😅

You’re too kind! I do tend to type as I look at other things and then feel awfully embarrassed! Hope you have a sweet little adventure with Mr Cafe!

It’s because he is at work that people are being “weird” about it. I think everyone is entitled to go to work and not get hit on.

I don’t think there’s any problem with giving him your number except for the fact you might not want to return to the cafe if he doesn’t call. How good is the coffee there??!

A couple of years ago, my daughter (mid twenties now) was on a train doing the crossword in a paper. She finished and put the paper down. The guy opposite asked if she’d finished with it and could he borrow it and she said yes. When she went to get off the train he handed her back the paper and he’d written a note on it saying he never did this kind of thing (who knows at all whether that was true!)but he thought she was beautiful and would like to take her out. He gave her his number.

She didn’t call him as she wasn’t in the habit of accepting dates from guys she didn’t know at all but it absolutely made her day! If nothing else OP you are likely to make his day.

I’d try to at least speak to him first. Otherwise it just feels a bit desperate and weird to be honest especially as you’re so much older than him. Strike up a conversation, doesn’t need to be flirting, he talks to customers all the time, and then go in again a few days later, do the same, and then pass him your number. Then it’s less weird and desperate. As at least you’ve spoken to each other.

ask him a bit about himself, as most people look within 5 years of their age. So this could be a lad who is literally 18. My freinds sons at this age could easily pass for 25 to someone who doesn’t know them. Of course he could be older, but I’d guess if you think he looks young then the odds are he maybe much younger than you think.

Let us know how he responds

True that.

I thought someone was 25, and he turned out to be 19

Ok I’m not a creep BUT (and I’m talking 10 years ago now) I looked for someone on a dating app with the km/miles radius thing set at the minimum and I found him! you could go have a coffee and a sneaky swipe through to see if he comes up that way you would know he’s single?

It worked for me 😬 as in we matched and clicked how we knew each other etc.

Men 'approaching' women is bad, as we all agree.

How is a woman ever expected to get date if approaching is “bad”?!

Should we say the same for men?

I have to say, I was annoyed when a man approached me at a park last week.

I just wanted to enjoy my lunch and I had to fend him off

Bills at coffee shops? Order at counter and sit down surely. Not even a receipt is given

By being free to go about her working day without being approached, while meeting and talking to men on her terms at things like clubs for hobbies, online dating, through friends etc.

Such a predicable reply.

How on earth do you think people meet? How do you think people met before the internet?

OP is asking if she should chat to a guy in a cafe and maybe offer to give him her phone number. That's is not sexual harassment.

I've had loads of customers try to chat me up and ask me out over the years. If I don't want to accept, I say no. Never occurred to me to call that 'sexual harassment!' Ridiculous. Lighten up.

I do hope the OP ignores the negative comments and goes for it.

Can never understand why people just want to hold other people back from taking a positive step and doing something that might make them and someone else happy!

I think it's fine. Usually I avoid sex based stereotyping, but men being approached at work is a different kettle of fish from women being approached at work - he's very unlikely to be creeped out, offended, or nervous for his personal safety that you'll follow him home after work.

Too many posters on this thread are taking how they'd feel about a situation and projecting it onto someone in a totally different position

Lol I'm pretty sure I'd never have dated if I didn't approach men. Maybe not quite but I'd say I'm the more forward one 80 percent of the time. I don't like dilly-dallying though, if I like someone I'll just ask. Eg: if it's online I don't like endless chatting so if they haven't asked to fix a date about 2 or 3 chats, I will.

I find it weird this whole 'women shouldn't approach men' idea.

Ooh that's a really good idea!

I think I'd want to be in a place where I wanted to online date to do that though. I mean I'd want to right swipe on everyone else that might suit too. And tbh I cba atm lol.

Don't change, OP.

I met my exDH because I told him I fancied him. We have 2 wonderful children together, separated now but still good friends.

I met the lovely man I am with now because I DM'ed him on Facebook.

Just go for it (and report back to us!).

You first ask another member of staff if he’s single. They’ll probably tell him and then the ball’s in his court.

See I thought about doing that. Always an instinct to ask one of the ladies there for the inside scoop. But the thing is i don't know the dynamics involved. I think he might appreciate someone just directly asking him rather than tittering away with the people he works with.

at 34, what can a 24 year old show you or lead in your life?

I hate that society thinks that we should all be divided be age. That we should only talk to people a similiar age to us. Why?

I am 41

My boyfriend is 29,

so I am 12 years older than him.

There is vere little difference, mentally and emotionally, between us. We are very similiar.

We are both adults. We both work. We talk about work, holidays, etc

Adults are adults.

Society used to shame women for dating men younger than them. I don't know why. It doesn't even make any sense

When I was 20 I dated someone who was 12 years older than me!

We were both adults and were together for about 3 and a half years.

You could go in when its less busy and see if he's willing to chat. For goodness sake don't give him your number yet, that's weird.

Go for it. We have one life.

He might not call you for one of many reasons, but I bet you handing him your number on a piece of paper will make that smile a little wider.