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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To ask out cute cafe guy or not...

165 replies

Sodthesystem · 06/11/2025 21:30

So, I was out for lunch with a friend the other day and there was this guy I notic

OP posts:
misspella · 11/11/2025 13:20

Sodthesystem · 07/11/2025 18:30

Surely that depends on the individual.

Plebty of interesting well lived 24 year olds out there. Plenty of sheltered 34 year olds too.

I can lead myself perfectly fine, I don't need a leader, just a companion. We don't need to get everything we need in life from a partner, that's why friendships and hobbies exist.

I admit I do like a man who is...not a shrinking violet. I do like him to be the man. So ideally it's better they do the asking. And perhaps some younger men aren't as confident in themselves yet. Plus with the age dynamic I don't want to get stuck playing mummy. But there are chances you take with every guy. Ways it might be more likely to go. No rewards without risks unfortunately.

And there's certainly plenty of wet blankets in my age group too xD

"So ideally it's better they do the asking" contradicting much here as this is technically leading.

anyway good luck

McSilkson · 12/11/2025 03:06

"Harassment"?! 😆 Politely asking someone out - once - and respectfully accepting their answer is not "harassment" by any stretch of the imagination.

Beekman · 12/11/2025 03:11

McSilkson · 12/11/2025 03:06

"Harassment"?! 😆 Politely asking someone out - once - and respectfully accepting their answer is not "harassment" by any stretch of the imagination.

It’s because he is at work. Everyone’s entitled to go about their working day without being hit on.

Finto1111 · 12/11/2025 09:08

Beekman · 12/11/2025 03:11

It’s because he is at work. Everyone’s entitled to go about their working day without being hit on.

In an ideal world, yes. But its likely always going to happen. I used to work in a call centre. Someone used to ask me out every week on the phone!

Cinnamon77 · 12/11/2025 12:47

Did she ask him out in the end?

Finto1111 · 12/11/2025 14:16

She didn't say

Pyjamatimenow · 12/11/2025 14:19

No. Seems desperado behaviour to me.

Sodthesystem · 13/11/2025 00:07

Update:

So I went back but didn't see him this morning. I thought I'd pop in later before I went home though, just on the off chance - and he was there. I went for it!

I asked for a second (spare) cup to go, wrote my name and number on it and went 'this one is for you' smiled and boosted outa there without looking back.

He called me (which I was extra happy about as I bloody hate texting!) and we chatted for a little bit. He's 25 (and a half). I think he said the cafe was his mums but I'm not sure as we were jumping about on topics. He's studying too, I won't say what incase it makes things too outing.

I was like 'sorry for being so forwards and to the point' but he said he appreciated it and that a woman had never directly asked him out like that before so he was surprised.

I have a holiday due so we've left it loosely at me letting him know when I'm back and free and we will go for lunch or something.

Everything seemed to flow pretty well but the only issue is I can potentially see we are both busy people so I'm not sure how that would work. Or if. Plus I might end up feeling 25 is too young or he may end up feeling I'm too old. But heyho, time will tell.

So that's the good news update guys. I'll keep you posted if we get that lunch date and let you know how it goes :)

OP posts:
Sodthesystem · 13/11/2025 00:15

Ps: that risk may have taken 5 years off my life. I was sorely tempted to take up smoking again when I got out of the cafe haha. But at least it seems to have paid off. And tf he's not a teenager haha.

OP posts:
Freewifix · 13/11/2025 00:58

Good for you op why not if it works out it dose i hope it dose.
If not you tried rather have oh well than what ifs.

On a other thread i was just reading alot was say how disgusting op husband is for say a lady looked nice.

Kat888 · 13/11/2025 01:11

Love this for you OP. I have done it myself and it's so empowering and men love it

Dramrole · 13/11/2025 07:05

Well done for asking -I'd have been too shy. Hope it all works out for you both.

Pashazade · 13/11/2025 07:51

Well done OP, occasionally we have to take a chance! Have a good holiday.

YRGAM · 13/11/2025 10:36

Well done OP! Men like getting asked out, it very rarely happens to most guys.

Dramrole · 04/12/2025 21:32

Did you go on a date after all?

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