Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Lied about his height

431 replies

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:29

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

OP posts:
BountifulPantry · 27/10/2025 12:12

If you were really into him I don’t think that fudging his height would matter.

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:14

Kimura · 27/10/2025 12:09

Men will often lie about a couple of inches 👀

😂

OP posts:
JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 12:14

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:12

I don't wear heels, I'm a trainers person so I know exactly where I was height wise on my ex husband, and I know when that's at least a couple of inches out... you can tell by how far you have to look up!!

Show quote history

Either you liked him or you didn't.

If he thought rounding his height up and inch would give him more options, that's understandable but it's really not a big deal.

More of an issue would be old photos or other 'BIG LIES'. (Like being married!)

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 12:15

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 11:51

I can't make that judgement from one date. I came on here to see if it's a common thing, and if it means it's a bigger picture problem or not. If you think it's pointless, just don't engage.

Show quote history

LOL we can engage and disagree- that's the whole point of your post.

If you don't want anyone to disagree, don't start a thread.

Chinupchindownchinroundandround · 27/10/2025 12:16

latetothefisting · 27/10/2025 11:34

It's not just men though. Like I said I'd accept women fibbing slightly about their weight or everyone using slightly older/best ever photos too.

What about if someone dyes their hair, is that lying too? Or make up? Or wears a push up bra or shape wear to their date? All of that is mis-representing the "truth" of someone's appearance, if you get down to it.

I find the focusing on "lying" with no differentiation between different types of truth bending/inaccuracy as the worst ever sin possible and indicative of someones terribke character quite weird tbh.

Most people aren't 100% honest every single day. Everyone fibs to some extent, whether it's "lovely singing/drawing" to your tone deaf/non artistic small child, or "that was delicious" to your partner or the waiter when it was okay or nothing special, or "yep nearly finished" to your boss about a report, or "they knew you were with them," when someone dies, or even "honestly I dont love it and think your old hairstyle was more flattering but it really doesnt look as bad as you think" when a friend is worried about a new hairstyle.

I would consider rounding up your height or so a minor fib with no real consequences. At the end of the day, will dating someone who is 5'10 and a half have any actual impact on OP? No. And it is something that is apparent from the time you meet anyway so if its that big a deal to her she can just leave and never see him again. It's not like he can hide as being 6'5 for years and then only reveal the truth once they're married.

Compared to lying about having children or his financial situation etc which I would consider big/serious lies that could affect OP if they entered a relationship.

Show quote history

I don't wear make up or shape wear but as their somthing that can be taken on and off and it's normally obvious someone is wearing them, I don't think it's the same as someone lying about their height in order to trick you into meeting them?

Again, what your describing isn't the same. We tell our children we like their picture or people we like their hairstyles because we don't want to hurt peoples feelings and it's polite. It'd not the same as an adult man deceiving a woman in order to have a date with her. One white lie is to be kind, the other lie is for selfish gain.

Your right, the height has absolutely no impact on the OP. But the lying does.

I find the focusing on "lying" with no differentiation between different types of truth bending/inaccuracy as the worst ever sin possible and indicative of someones terribke character quite weird tbh

Who said it was the worst possible sin? No one but you? How odd you felt the need for a sly dig of "quite weird tbh"

Some of us on here have experience with men who tell "small" lies and it's just the tip of the iceberg.

I can only assume, you also tell lies with the way you have tried to make white lies the same as deceitful lies.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 27/10/2025 12:16

It says to me that he’s been following those misogynistic twats who say that women will put out for 6’ alphas. No woman I’ve ever met cares about height unless the man is really particularly tiny or shorter than them - say under 5’5” you might have an issue. A couple of inches short of 6’ is not a problem for anyone! So he’s not only lying, he’s doing it from a very dodgy perspective that’s a lot more troubling than a missing inch. And he’s belittled your concern.

lifeonmars100 · 27/10/2025 12:17

Such an odd thing to lie about given that as soon as you see him you know it is a lie. Guess he assumed his personality would excuse the lie. Did it? Personally that would put me off

Bagsintheboot · 27/10/2025 12:17

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:06

Yes, OLD is tiring enough without having to deal with liars. I quite liked him on paper and in person, but I am wondering about what other insecurities this might be a part of.

Show quote history

Dump him then. If you can't get past this, then don't see him again.

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:17

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 12:15

LOL we can engage and disagree- that's the whole point of your post.

If you don't want anyone to disagree, don't start a thread.

Show quote history

I don't mind if anyone disagrees, but I don't think it makes a post pointless just because there are divided opinions.

OP posts:
Sparklinggreen · 27/10/2025 12:18

It’s tricky, I can see why you are put off by his rather obvious lie (and him maintaining the ruse) but likewise he’s not that far off 6ft (with some smart heeled shoes etc) so it’s not a massive lie. I think he probably thought he would get more matches saying 6ft and hope his personality would be enough. Hard to tell if that makes him a serial liar, but if his conduct about it bothers you enough to post, I would probably move on!

Toucan123 · 27/10/2025 12:18

A similar thing happened to me recently OP - I was meeting a guy who's profile said he was 5'11" and I almost didn't recognise him when he walked up to me because I'd been looking out for much taller man. He was only 5'8" (I know because he was the same height as me). It put me right off him because I immediately knew he was dishonest. And I'm not even bothered about height - my last boyfriend was only 5'9" and my ex husband was 5'6".

PrettyPickle · 27/10/2025 12:19

This happened to me before I was married. My requirements were simple, bigger thigh measurements than me and over 5ft 10 as I'm 5ft 7" so with heels on I'm at least 5ft 10" so it was a "nice to have". A personality and outlook match was more important to me than physical appearance although if a gorgeous fella rocked up...bring it on....!

Got talking to this guy and he seemed really nice. We agreed to meet up in a local park for a coffee one lunchtime. I'm standing in this car park looking for the 6ft guy he had listed himself as. I had jeans and flatties on. This guy approached me and it was him. His nose came just in line with my cleavage. And the masses of hair he had referred to were on his chest, not his head! But hey, I don't mind bald heads - comb over no! Bald and proud is fine.

He was actually a lovely guy and we dated for a while but we made better mates than partners. During the relationship I ribbed him about his height on the profile and his response was that it wasn't a direct lie as when he rolled out the tape measure he was stood on a rock! He had a chip on his shoulder about his height as he said being much shorter than average for a guy had blighted his love life.

My Dad used to tell people he was 6ft but he was 5ft 10 too - weird!

BauhausOfEliott · 27/10/2025 12:20

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:59

In my original post I say "I have nothing set for height restrictions." I don't care about height. I care about dating an honest man.

Show quote history

Don't date him then? I don't really understand why you've asked Mumsnet about this. You obviously feel uncomfortable that he fibbed about his height. It doesn't really matter whether anyone else would be bothered because they're not the ones who went on the date. You can refuse a second date for any reason at all.

Onmytod24 · 27/10/2025 12:20

He is a great bloke. You are paranoid

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 12:20

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:17

I don't mind if anyone disagrees, but I don't think it makes a post pointless just because there are divided opinions.

Show quote history

You're not making any sense.

'Pointless' is the word you're using to stop people posting who disagree with you.

If anyone is being pointless it's you for getting worked up about a slightly exaggerated height.

If you think this is a big lie and red flag, I'd suggest you get a perspective.

Bagsintheboot · 27/10/2025 12:22

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:17

I don't mind if anyone disagrees, but I don't think it makes a post pointless just because there are divided opinions.

Show quote history

What makes the post pointless is asking strangers to guess some quite significant things about this guys personality based on very little.

You are the one who has met him. You are the one who is (currently) dating him. Only you can decide if this is a deal breaker. All everyone else can do is wildly speculate, which isn't helpful.

SL2924 · 27/10/2025 12:22

He has lied to you to con you into a date. Not worth figuring out just how much of a liar he is. I’d move on from this one.

Whyherewego · 27/10/2025 12:22

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 11:51

I can't make that judgement from one date. I came on here to see if it's a common thing, and if it means it's a bigger picture problem or not. If you think it's pointless, just don't engage.

Show quote history

It is common. Men often round up their height on dating apps as people set arbitrary thresholds like 6ft because that has some magic meaning but as a PP pointed out if you were doing it in metric you'd never use that number and may well set it at 180cm instead which would then catch those men of 5ft11".

If you value honesty and find this sort of enhancing your profile to meet cutoffs unacceptable then that's absolutely fine. If you accept that many people try to maximise their appeal and it's no big deal then that's fine too.

No5ChalksRoad · 27/10/2025 12:22

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:06

Yes, OLD is tiring enough without having to deal with liars. I quite liked him on paper and in person, but I am wondering about what other insecurities this might be a part of.

Show quote history

It’s not as though he misled you about anything of import like whether or not he has a job or kids.

The man, knowing how many women have hangups about dating shorter men, was trying to make himself seem more appealing on a dating app. That’s a foible but hardly an indicator of bad character.

If asked, I’d describe myself as blonde, but in reality I have medium brown hair. It just happens to be bleached blonde at the moment. Does that make me “a liar”?

AmethystAnnotation · 27/10/2025 12:23

I couldn't care less about height - in the past, I have had relationships with a couple of men shorter than me, and I am only 5'4.

This would put me off though because

  1. He is treating women like idiots
  2. He is assuming that he's so great that once women meet him, they won't care about his height
  3. It is a minor lie - not in itself a dealbreaker but adds to my general distaste
No5ChalksRoad · 27/10/2025 12:23

SL2924 · 27/10/2025 12:22

He has lied to you to con you into a date. Not worth figuring out just how much of a liar he is. I’d move on from this one.

I’d love to hear his version of the encounter…

AtBeaverGoat · 27/10/2025 12:23

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:29

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

went on date with a woman who said she was 49, was actually 54, all her pictures were also 5 years old it turned out

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 12:23

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 12:20

You're not making any sense.

'Pointless' is the word you're using to stop people posting who disagree with you.

If anyone is being pointless it's you for getting worked up about a slightly exaggerated height.

If you think this is a big lie and red flag, I'd suggest you get a perspective.

Show quote history

You said the thread was "pointless." I made a very clear point, which is that I wanted to know if this one white lie was likely (in OPs experience) to lead to bigger lies because I have never dated anyone who has lied on their profile (knowingly.) I do have a perspective, and I am curious to gauge by speaking to other women, if it's accurate or not. I think that makes perfect sense.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 27/10/2025 12:24

It would annoy me...but I have known several men who lied to themselves about their age.

At uni, I had male students claiming that I was 6ft tall, because they were '5ft 9in.' Nope. I'm 5ft 9.

Mapletree1985 · 27/10/2025 12:25

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:29

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

Guys under six feet know they won't get dates. It's a trivial thing to fudge and I am sure many women do the same thing about equally trivial details. I don't think it makes him untrustworthy.