Lied about his height

[rubberduck68]

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

Yep it’s the lying from the start that’s the issue not the height

An inch? A single inch?

Was he wearing Oxford's as opposed to casual leather boots because that is the difference between 6ft and 5ft11

I get you Op - my husband is 5ft 10, my dad is 5ft 11 and my brother 6 foot. I can identify those heights very easily and instinctively. I probably couldn’t do 6 foot 2 vs 6 foot 4.

Personally I have no problem with a man of 5ft 10. (I married one!) I do have a problem with liars. Particularly liars where it is so damn obvious. Because they are assuming that I am stupid / too insipid to complain. If they want to date someone stupid / insipid then that is not me.

I honestly feel like he put 6' because it potentially gets him more matches. Some women do have a thing about saying 6' (have you seen the film Materialists? it is very good at showing the dating expectations, if not youtube for the trailers) so if women tick the 6' height box requirements he will match them.

I couldn't tell you if a man is precisely 6 foot or not. Dh is actually 6ft 2 and 3/4", would you round him up to 6'3" or round him down to 6'2"? I bet most people would round up. I am 5'4" 1/2 I used to always round up to 5'5" because who is out there measuring people? I fit under Dh's chin but I also fit under my sons' chins and they are 5'10" and 5'11". I couldn't look at a bloke and confidently say he is 5'10".

That being said, I understand the lie. That wouldn't matter if it was a one off thing.

There are things that most people will lie about. For men it will be height, penis size, previous jobs, ex girlfriends, existence of children, cheating - basically anything that will stop them getting laid or earning money.

For women it will be things like weight, body count, existence of ex boyfriends, gossip - we are usually more concerned about how we are perceived, reputational damage.

Would I care about someone lying about their height? Only in so much that it shows an insecurity and that can manifest in negative ways down the like line. On its own I wouldn’t overreact to it. Alongside a general flashiness and tendency to overstate things or bring other people down, that would be red flag bunting.

I assume it's to get past the 6ft filter that many women use, he isn't short so it wouldn't bother me, but if it put you off it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

“I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.”

Funny how these men never declare themselves an inch shorter than they are, only taller - if it's only an inch. And that inch is never just one.

I genuinely don't care about height. I've dated men that were 5ft 5 (I'm 5ft 7) and 6ft 5 and everything in between. I know some shorter men feel like they won't get a date unless they lie about their height, but if they're willing to lie just to get a look in then that tends to say a lot about what they're looking for.

They'd rather have one date that will go no further - because they lied about their height - than wait for someone who will like them for them. Personally I'd rather not waste my time having dates that will go nowhere but each to their own.

Went on a date once with someone who said they were 5’10. They must have been 5’6 in the flesh. I lived with a bf who was 5’6 so the height in itself didn’t bother me, but I didn’t appreciate the obvious lie. So my first impression wasn't whether he seemed nice, but why did he say he was 5’10 when he so obviously wasn’t. It took over the entire meet up in my head as I felt annoyed. I didn’t stay on OLD as I realised it just wasn’t for me.

100% agree. My ex H and my DS are both 6 ft so I know exactly where I come up to on them.

Id probably date someone who I gelled with who was 5’9 and over but not someone who lied

Yeah, this.

I'd assume he felt he wasn't being given a chance so added a couple of inches to his height.

But anyone with a profile photo that's more than 6 months old is effectively lying anyway.

And there are plenty of those.

Yep. There is an obsession with height on dating sites. Lots of women on mn openly say they would not date men under a certain height. It’s ridiculous but true.

How traumatic!

You should sue him in the courts for false advertising!

Or, give him a chance if you actually like him.

This is the first rule of online dating.

Whatever height their profile says , knock off 2 inches

So if someone was 11st 2lbs you would call them a liar if they rounded it down to 11st? Mad.

He probably just wanted to get some dates knowing some women can idealise about wanting to date men that are 6 footers and above which in itself is shallow, leaving him to perhaps no choice but to play a numbers game?

It's ironic for him that you, in not being concerned about height, are using his height against him.

Absolutely cut him a break, if you like him.

The amount of women on here excusing his lies because "poor men find online dating hard because women want 6ft+ men"...... is honestly sickening.

Why are women excusing men lying? Someone being so insecure as to lie about somthing so obvious and so easily proved to be a lie..... is a huge red flag

Do they ever admit their not 6ft? Or do most of them continue to lie or if forced to admit it then they lie about the reason they lied? "It was an accident" ect

I genuinely can't believe how many women are excusing the lying about height. It goes beyond the height, if they can lie so easily about that then they will lie about other things

I'd give him another chance and see what he's like without being focused on the "lie." Then make your decision.

People's height vary throughout the day, as they age, depending on their posture etc. Perhaps he was once measured incorrectly/when wearing clumpy shoes or whatever as 5'11 and a quarter and has "identified" as that ever since!

Or perhaps he is lying and, knowing that some women are fixated on 6 foot or higher, feels its stupid for him to potentially miss out on meeting someone who is perfect for him in every single way for the sake of an inch or so.

If he was 5'8 or whatever then that's a big lie that is completely implausible, but for a very slight difference I see it as similar to a woman rounding down her weight to the nearest stone or people choosing a very flattering/old photo that they don't really look like/any more. Yes it's not ideal but tbh online dating is so forced and image based anyway, I think most people accept that people's profiles aren't 100% "real".

Bear in mind his profile wasn't written specifically for you who doesn't care about height, but for everyone.

Everyone writes they love hiking and travelling and cooking etc and perhaps they do, but they still probably spend more evenings overall on the sofa watching tv and eating something easy.

Don’t be gaslit OP. He lied. Clearly his charming personality didn’t make you overlook that. I wouldn’t see him again.

It's really not the same. Someone could easily gain or lose 2lb in a week due to water retention ect and 2lb of weight gain isn't usually noticeable on people. Lying about height Is always noticeable

When you wake up you are generally 3/4 of an inch taller than when you go to bed🤪

to an extent on the dating apps, no one is entirely honest.

We filter the best photos to make sure we look our best, we make sure our hobbies and interests reflect the best of us rather than the reality (I never read books because I'm too busy scrolling instagram). People don't admit to botox or makeup. I had a boob job, but never put that in my profile! I found that I was matching with loads of older men and none my age because I was just the wrong side of a cutoff. So I just dropped my age by 1 year and suddenly I match with more. I told people up front of course. If it was massive lie eg he's actually 5'5" not 6 ft then I'd be annoyed but if it's an inch .. less of a big deal IMHO.

But if it's a deal break for you then fair enough.

This.

Used to get the train to work everyday and got friendly with the same group of travellers. One of the blokes on the train said he was 5ft 8, this was a complete lie because my own DH is 5ft8 and this guy was at least 2 inches shorter. I didn't pull him up on it, but it really made me look at him differently for the lie. He was married too, so not sure why he was lying to a group of train passengers.

It’s kind of weird that you called him out regarding his exact height, on a first meeting. Date or not, that’s pretty rude.

Well perhaps if women weren’t so shallow and obsessed with dating tall men they wouldn’t feel the need to lie? But as always, on here women can do no wrong. Maybe I’m a bit sensitive about this as my son is 5ft 10 and it’s depressing to think that shallow women would think he’s not worth dating as he’s not 2 inches taller

I don't think I would have been bothered in younger years, but now ai wpuld not be bothering with someone who is lying from day 1. Well, unless everything else about the date was amazing. Then I might give the benefit of the doubt that this was an insucurity issue.