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Original poster

33+3 weeks pregnant, high risk and my husband has just left me

231 replies

SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 16:47

I am 33+3 weeks pregnant. I'm currently in hospital as my waters went at 32+1 weeks. I stood up to make some tea and I was suddenly soaked, and I convinced my husband to take me into triage as something felt off. I was admitted and I am being monitored daily. Currently baby boy is showing no signs of distress, and there aren't any signs of infection so they're hopeful we can make it to 35 weeks.

My husband has been working still, and coming to visit me in the mornings and evenings. He hasn't been overly happy about it, but he's been coming. In terms of day time my mum, sisters and friends have been taking it in turns to come and see me, and last weekend my mum brought a nice lunch for us to have together.

Last night my husband came and was pretty angry, he was saying he didn't have time for this anymore and he was saying he couldn't keep doing this.

Then out of nowhere he said he'd be packing his things and leaving the house. He told me he wouldn't be there any didn't want to hear when the baby came, because he didn't care. I feel completely blindsided, things were great before I went into hospital and we were really looking forward to our baby boy's arrival.

I have no idea what to do now. I can't face getting a lawyer, and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because I will just break down and disturb the other women on the ward.

Just posting to vent really, as I feel so alone and broken

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 18/10/2025 16:52

That’s so awful
Tell your midwife as they can provide emotional and other practical support and ensure he can’t be with you during labour and delivery
you need to prepare yourself for the inevitable - there is someone else but for now tell his parents and yours, and get lots of real life support

Original poster
SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 16:57

rubyslippers · 18/10/2025 16:52

That’s so awful
Tell your midwife as they can provide emotional and other practical support and ensure he can’t be with you during labour and delivery
you need to prepare yourself for the inevitable - there is someone else but for now tell his parents and yours, and get lots of real life support

Another woman is what I'm suspecting, but I just don't want to raise my son in this environment. A broken home, if he does want to be involved it would mean going between two homes for the rest of his life, missing out on every other birthday and Christmas. It just breaks my heart to think of 😢

OP posts:
Wrenjay · 18/10/2025 17:02

So sorry you are in this situation. Tell everyone, especially his parents. Hopefully you will have your lovely son to hold and cuddle soon. I wish you all the best for the future. Do not deny his parents the happiness of holding and loving your son.

GreenFrogYellow · 18/10/2025 17:03

wtf. Was your marriage great before? Are you in touch with his family? If my husband did this I’d think he was having some sort of psychotic episode

StrawberryJangle · 18/10/2025 17:03

I split with my ex when baby was 3 weeks old.

You don't think you can do it, but you can, and you will.

Rely on your family, take every helping offered. Don't be alone too much.

Your husband has shown you how cruel and nasty he can be, whilst you and his child, are at your most vulnerable.
Never forget that cruelty!

Do NOT register him on the birth certificate. He'll be after his rights when it suits him. Do not name him.

I'm so sorry darling. There's no easy way through.
My daughter is now doing her Alevels!

You will cope, even when you are falling apart.

GreenFrogYellow · 18/10/2025 17:04

StrawberryJangle · 18/10/2025 17:03

I split with my ex when baby was 3 weeks old.

You don't think you can do it, but you can, and you will.

Rely on your family, take every helping offered. Don't be alone too much.

Your husband has shown you how cruel and nasty he can be, whilst you and his child, are at your most vulnerable.
Never forget that cruelty!

Do NOT register him on the birth certificate. He'll be after his rights when it suits him. Do not name him.

I'm so sorry darling. There's no easy way through.
My daughter is now doing her Alevels!

You will cope, even when you are falling apart.

He gets PR anyway because they’re married I think

Doggymummar · 18/10/2025 17:04

What a shitty thing to do. Best you find out now I guess. Rally your friends and family. It might just be a wobble, but I'm not sure I could forgive either way.

Original poster
SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:05

GreenFrogYellow · 18/10/2025 17:03

wtf. Was your marriage great before? Are you in touch with his family? If my husband did this I’d think he was having some sort of psychotic episode

I've messaged them because I'm so overwhelmed, I thought everything was fine. He'd been busier at work but that can be normal at this time of year for him. They've said that he's safe and they'll keep an eye on him

OP posts:
FrodoBiggins · 18/10/2025 17:05

I'm so sorry OP you poor thing. Please tell a nice midwife, or one of your friends or family members. I can't imagine how horrible it is bottling this up when you are trying to prioritise your little boy.
I can't imagine what your husband's motivation is. Some (lots of) men become cold and horrible when their partners are ill but it seems so unexpected and sudden. But please share the burden, and well done for coming here for support. We're all sending you and your son tonnes of love x

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2025 17:09

I am so sorry @SugarPlumBiscuits

As you are married his name will automatically go on birth certificate.

Start claiming maintenance as soon as you can

StrawberryJangle · 18/10/2025 17:09

GreenFrogYellow · 18/10/2025 17:04

He gets PR anyway because they’re married I think

Show quote history

That would be odd. Parental Responsibility via a marriage certicate.
It might not even be his child. (I'm not saying that).

But you're wrong.

OP needs to concentrate on herself. Not the legal shite.

StrawberryJangle · 18/10/2025 17:11

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2025 17:09

I am so sorry @SugarPlumBiscuits

As you are married his name will automatically go on birth certificate.

Start claiming maintenance as soon as you can

The law has changed then.

OP could claim the father was a ONS, they can't just put her husband on for convenience.

BruFord · 18/10/2025 17:17

SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:05

I've messaged them because I'm so overwhelmed, I thought everything was fine. He'd been busier at work but that can be normal at this time of year for him. They've said that he's safe and they'll keep an eye on him

Show quote history

You’re nicer than I am @SugarPlumBiscuits , I wouldn’t be so concerned about his wellbeing, what a selfish sod.. You’re in hospital due to a high-risk pregnancy and HE can’t cope?!

Still, I’m glad that you’ve told his family so that he doesn’t try to pretend that he hasn’t done this. I’d be mortified if my son did this.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/10/2025 17:21

SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:05

I've messaged them because I'm so overwhelmed, I thought everything was fine. He'd been busier at work but that can be normal at this time of year for him. They've said that he's safe and they'll keep an eye on him

Show quote history

He's safe & they'll keep an eye on him?????
No "we're sorry he's a useless weasel but let us know what you need"?
Charming.
Sorry OP but it sounds like you'll get no support from his family. Just keep your own family close & informed for now. Let them support & comfort you and take all their offered help when you need it.
I'm so sorry you are going through this & wish you & your baby boy all the best.

DEAROP · 18/10/2025 17:21

StrawberryJangle · 18/10/2025 17:11

The law has changed then.

OP could claim the father was a ONS, they can't just put her husband on for convenience.

Show quote history

It's always been this way. It is assumed that the baby is the child of your husband unless you present someone else as the father and your husband doesn't contest it. You can register the baby alone if you are married.

If he feels he is not the father, he has to contest it legally and of course a DNA test will confirm either way.

Original poster
SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:22

BruFord · 18/10/2025 17:17

You’re nicer than I am @SugarPlumBiscuits , I wouldn’t be so concerned about his wellbeing, what a selfish sod.. You’re in hospital due to a high-risk pregnancy and HE can’t cope?!

Still, I’m glad that you’ve told his family so that he doesn’t try to pretend that he hasn’t done this. I’d be mortified if my son did this.

Show quote history

He hadn't told his family I was in hospital.

I am completely lost for words. When I went in, I texted my mum because I knew she'd tell my dad and sisters, and he said he'd handle telling his family. Turns out, he'd not told them and my text to them this afternoon was the first they'd heard of it.

I just can't imagine why he would suddenly hate me so much

OP posts:
Esthery · 18/10/2025 17:27

I'm so sorry you're in this pickle, on top of the stress of a high risk pregnancy. I hope your baby is well. It sounds like you might be heading fir some NICU or SCBU time with your little one, which may be for the best - you'll have help from the nurses to look after the baby in the immediate period after birth while you recover.

When you can think clearly, make a list of everyone you know that you can contact and ask for help, that you'd feel comfortable about having in you home shortly after birth. People will help.

You'll get through this.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/10/2025 17:28

I am speechless at this pathetic so-called man’s behaviour op. I’m so sorry he is putting you through this.

Have you told the staff? I think you should. This stress and upset is not what you need.

I’m sending you strength to get through this - and although you don’t believe it right now, you will.

Original poster
SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:30

I told the midwife this morning because all I want is to go home and sleep a night in my own bed. They've said if things stay stable I may be allowed a night's leave tomorrow night, but I'd have to be back by 9am Monday morning. I just feel so blindsided

OP posts:
neveragainmilly · 18/10/2025 17:32

Absolutely awful. The trash has taken itself out.

Youve got this op. You will be able to do it. Please look after yourself though. It will be hard but you don't deserve this. Better sooner rather than later

ThePoshUns · 18/10/2025 17:37

Oh my god I’ve heard some awful things on this site but this is one of the worst. What a cruel thing to do to you and your baby. There is nothing to excuse his behaviour. I am so sorry for you. Your family and friends must be appalled.

Freysimo · 18/10/2025 17:39

I'm truly sorry OP, but on the plus side, when your dear baby boy is born you'll be able to concentrate just on HIM and not worry about your man child's feelings. Better he's shown his true colours now. Just focus on yourself and your baby, you're stronger than you know.

Original poster
SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 17:46

I don’t feel strong at all. They’re about to put me back on monitoring because I’ve had a couple of cramps, they’re not sure if it’s from stress or labour. All I want is for him to be here to support me 😢

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 18/10/2025 17:46

Yes that’s a good point @Freysimo

LemonJellyLegs · 18/10/2025 17:47

SugarPlumBiscuits · 18/10/2025 16:57

Another woman is what I'm suspecting, but I just don't want to raise my son in this environment. A broken home, if he does want to be involved it would mean going between two homes for the rest of his life, missing out on every other birthday and Christmas. It just breaks my heart to think of 😢

Show quote history

I was where you are now, it DOES get better, its certainly not as bad as you think it will be. It's quite refreshing not to have a man to worry about, you can properly bond with your son without worrying about him. What I do suggest is a SHL which I didn't have!!!