33+3 weeks pregnant, high risk and my husband has just left me

[SugarPlumBiscuits]

I am 33+3 weeks pregnant. I'm currently in hospital as my waters went at 32+1 weeks. I stood up to make some tea and I was suddenly soaked, and I convinced my husband to take me into triage as something felt off. I was admitted and I am being monitored daily. Currently baby boy is showing no signs of distress, and there aren't any signs of infection so they're hopeful we can make it to 35 weeks.

My husband has been working still, and coming to visit me in the mornings and evenings. He hasn't been overly happy about it, but he's been coming. In terms of day time my mum, sisters and friends have been taking it in turns to come and see me, and last weekend my mum brought a nice lunch for us to have together.

Last night my husband came and was pretty angry, he was saying he didn't have time for this anymore and he was saying he couldn't keep doing this.

Then out of nowhere he said he'd be packing his things and leaving the house. He told me he wouldn't be there any didn't want to hear when the baby came, because he didn't care. I feel completely blindsided, things were great before I went into hospital and we were really looking forward to our baby boy's arrival.

I have no idea what to do now. I can't face getting a lawyer, and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because I will just break down and disturb the other women on the ward.

Just posting to vent really, as I feel so alone and broken

@BigBoots67

one day you will look back gladly knowing you got to have precious early moments with your little boy that your husband can never turn back the time for.

That is just so true. It beggars belief that a man can just so cruelly give up the experience of seeing his own son being welcomed into the world.
What on earth could be more important to him than that? And yet something obviously is

I can’t believe what I have read. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for baby’s safe arrival x

You poor love; what a snake, but he’s shown his true colours & now even though your feeling shit you need to put your big girl pants on & you need to act to protect yourself & your baby.
Get your family on board - change the locks asap so he cannot get back into the house whilst you’re in hospital; your family can help with this.
Bank account is it joint - set yourself up a single account asap & move what’s yours over asap your not working you still need cash to pay the mortgage & to live.
He says he doesn’t want to hear when the baby’s born don’t tell him; if your not close to his family don’t tell them until your home & into a good routine & mentally ready to deal them because once they know he will too.
Once your ready get a solicitor involved; if you think he’s got another partner on the boil you need to protect yourself & your child; just because he’s not man enough to keep his dick in his trousers whilst his wife is carrying his child doesn’t mean you & his child should suffer & remember your worth a million times better than this twat has given you; he’s not a man his a spineless amoeba who doesn’t deserve your tears x
Good luck with your labor & delivery & your future it will get brighter just keep looking at your little one xx

Your mum’s on the ball with your in-laws and DH.
Backstage your dad and sisters are working hard to build a new nest for you.
Beside you are medical experts and the woman who gave you life. Trust all of them as they have your best interests at heart.
Even further back you have the strength and might of MN.
You have power and are about to experience love like no other - it’s magical.
💪

Can't imagine how upsetting it must be for your husband to do this at such a vulnerable moment, op. It sounds as though you have an amazing family, let them support you and focus on you and your baby for now if you can

Morning @SugarPlumBiscuits I hope you little boy is now here and safe in your arms.

He is the most important thing right now, focus on him and let your family look after and love you. They can tell his family the news (I think keeping them informed is a good idea so he can’t rewrite history), collect stuff you need etc.

I had a pretty rough night all things considered. Everything was stop start with the induction until about midnight when it got very intense very quickly. I had been given an epidural and it looked like it was progressing to me delivering naturally but baby boy started showing signs of distress around 2 and the consultant said enough was enough and I was taken down for an emergency c section.

He didn’t cry when he came out which was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever been through. He’s doing okay down in NICU but I haven’t been able to see him properly yet and I’ve been moved to the ward where everyone is with their babies, and partners have started arriving for the day. I’m exhausted, I barely slept and the midwives have said they’ll try to get me a side room but they don’t have any free at the moment.

it’s been a whirlwind, I’m waiting for someone to arrive for the day, I sent my mum home to get some sleep because she was as exhausted as I am. Fingers crossed for a better day today 😢

Many congratulations!

Aww OP, I hope that you and your little boy are okay. Have you got some family coming today? Hopefully you’ll get to go down and meet your son at some point too,
I can’t imagine what you are going through but you’re in my thoughts ❤️

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy OP. You have been through an awful lot in a very short space of time and when the dust has settled you really must take a moment to appreciate how strong you have been.

I hope your mum is able to come soon and provide some much needed emotional support. Do you have other family members who can swap in with her so you are not left on your own today (or tomorrow) in hospital? Make sure (if you can) that the midwives know your situation too.

Everyone’s just changed over on their shift, I’m trying to get someone’s attention so I can get some painkillers and explain the situation but they’re all busy. I’m hopeful they’ll let my mum and dad come in today but I know it’s really unlikely, but now he’s here I just feel so fragile and sad

Congratulations OP!

Well done you!

I've been in that situation, many many years ago, of being on a maternity ward totally by myself but surrounded by all the other mums with their partners visiting them and I know it hurts. But hopefully your lovely Mum and your other friends and family will soon be there to support you.

Love to you and your wee precious son.

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy. Hopefully you can get some rest as he will be well looked after on the unit.

Congratulations on your boy 💙. You can ask that your mum be your birthing partner so she can visit you and the baby at the same time as partners would be allowed. Hope you get plenty cuddles from your wee one today. The nicu staff will look after you both too xx

Congratulations on your baby boy💙love to you both and can I squeeze in a hug to your baby

Congratulations Op.

Hope you manage to see your Mum & Dad & that they are allowed to see your baby also.

Is that what you are thinking might not happen?

A baby in NICU is daunting.

Well done Op, I'm sure you'll have him in your arms soon.
Just keep pressing the call button until someone comes. They get so busy, I had to as they'd forgotten me during that time and 2hrs later the pain was agony.

Congratulations, OP - you have done so, so well💐 I know weekends and overnights are difficult to get consistency from staff so please don't feel like you're being repetitive if they don't seem to be on what you need and you have to keep asking - e.g. pain meds, a side room and for your parents to be allowed to visit.

My first was born early by emergency CS, and like you, the silence was what got to me. Please take whatever support the hospital has to help process it all. All the best to you and your baby boy.

Yes I was hoping they’d be able to come down with me to see him, because I’m overwhelmed and a bit scared. I’ve spoken with the head midwife (I don’t know what she’s actually called I’m sorry), who has been quite firm in that I’ll be on the ward before I’m sent home tomorrow morning if everything goes well.

She’s said if my partner isn’t coming in it’s standard visiting hours now for anyone who comes to see me. For the postnatal ward that’s one person who can be here from 9 until 5, and then 2 other people can come between 2 and 8pm.

But for the NICU it’s one person for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. They won’t make an allowance for this because they say it can be a security risk and could put the other women in danger.

She’s said nobody on the ward is able to take me down to see him and it has to be one of my visitors because it takes a staff member away from the ward, so my sister is coming to see me and she’ll take me down, stay for an hour and then come back when I’m ready for lunch. It just feels so harsh and unfair 😢

When you get tote NICU explain to them what is happening and I think you will find them more sympathetic and supportive.

At the worse your sister wheel you down there - stay the hour and then leave. Someone will have to help you back to the ward then! And it doesn’t have to take someone away from the ward - that is what porters are for.

While you are waiting can you start expressing some milk? It might give you something to positive to do/ focus on.

The hospital have their own policy unfortunately and it is what it is, even though it feels wrong. Hopefully, you won't be there for too long. In the meantime, try and get some sleep, as much as you can. I was induced and had an emergency C-section, as my labour didn't progress. You have support in the background, and you will need it, once you're discharged as you won't be able to do much. I know you're feeling scared and very vulnerable. Having a baby on the special care baby unit is hard in itself, without all the emotional upheaval you are going through. Leave your Mum to deal with your husband and his family. Your priority is you and your baby.

I want to give you the biggest hug. Congratulations on the birth of your little one.

Congratulations OP, although I understand this wasn't what you anticipated giving birth would be like x

Please tell them what's happened, I'd hope they'd give you extra support and allow a visitor to take the place of your partner. Don't hide your feelings, they wont help if they dont know how you really feel.

Lots of love xx

Congratulations on your beautiful new baby OP, I am sorry you're having such a hard time. If you want someone with you during 'partner' hours just lie & say they are your partner. (I.e. your sister) this is a terrible and stupid rule. I would also keep asking when someone can take you to see your baby and remind them it is important for you to bond and to physically see him so you know he is okay. You are important and you deserve to be pain free - I ended up similar to you jist kind of forgotten about & when I was moved to the ward I was given a morphine injection & was instantly able to get up & in a shower! Sending you lots of love.

You have been so strong! Congratulations!!

I can’t beleive your husband has been such an utter twat. He doesn’t deserve to be in your sons life