33+3 weeks pregnant, high risk and my husband has just left me

[SugarPlumBiscuits]

I am 33+3 weeks pregnant. I'm currently in hospital as my waters went at 32+1 weeks. I stood up to make some tea and I was suddenly soaked, and I convinced my husband to take me into triage as something felt off. I was admitted and I am being monitored daily. Currently baby boy is showing no signs of distress, and there aren't any signs of infection so they're hopeful we can make it to 35 weeks.

My husband has been working still, and coming to visit me in the mornings and evenings. He hasn't been overly happy about it, but he's been coming. In terms of day time my mum, sisters and friends have been taking it in turns to come and see me, and last weekend my mum brought a nice lunch for us to have together.

Last night my husband came and was pretty angry, he was saying he didn't have time for this anymore and he was saying he couldn't keep doing this.

Then out of nowhere he said he'd be packing his things and leaving the house. He told me he wouldn't be there any didn't want to hear when the baby came, because he didn't care. I feel completely blindsided, things were great before I went into hospital and we were really looking forward to our baby boy's arrival.

I have no idea what to do now. I can't face getting a lawyer, and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because I will just break down and disturb the other women on the ward.

Just posting to vent really, as I feel so alone and broken

This is awful. I'm sending you so much love. Hope you get the support you need from your nearest and dearest xx

@SugarPlumBiscuits I am so sorry you are going through this! Unfortunately I am going through something similar, although found out when 6 months pregnant, and a toddler already, that husband was have an emotional affair. I am due any day now and am just taking it day by day and hoping this babies arrival will give me a huge focus, and also light a fire under me. Ex Husband no longer lives at home and hasn't since summer. Its not easy, but look for the helpers - which is sounds like you have in your family!

You suspect another woman and i also wonder whether he didnt like having to out so much effort in. Do you normally do the bulk of the housework and cooking?

If you changed your name on marriage, when baby comes I would seriously consider registering baby with my maiden name and then changing mine back.

good luck tonight with the monitoring this evening.

I’m glad your mum and rest of your family are looking after you.

Your baby is a good gestation for a planned premature birth and I hope all goes well if too give birth in the next few hours or days.

So so glad you have lots of lovely, practical and emotional support around you. Whatever is going on with your husband, you’ll have to block him out of your mind for the next little while and focus on baby boy and your own recovery. Once you’re both safe and home and you’ve recovered from delivery, then you can turn your attention back to him and your marriage.
Hope delivery goes well and baby is healthy and strong!

@Mumto21234
I'm so sorry you are in a similar position to OP.

Thinking of you both and sending you both all good wishes.

These worthless men are unbelievable.

Your husband is a spineless twat. To leave you whilst pregnant is dreadful enough, but whilst you're in hospital with an impending premature birth, is even worse. Your top priority is your little baby boy and yourself. I'm glad you have good family support around you. Call me cynical but like others I suspect your husband has another woman in the wings.

OP I am firstly so sorry that you have been treated like this. What an utter scum bag. Sending lots of love to you and wishing you all the best with your little boy

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you and baby are getting all the care you need.

How has your husband been at other times of stress? I ask because saying he doesn’t care and doesn’t want to know when baby comes suggests he’s struggling a lot. He’s backed off and trying to protect himself in case the very worst happens.

this in no way is an excuse for his behaviour but might be an explanation for the sudden change.

As your husband he has PR from the get go (any child a married woman has is also the child of her spouse regardless of biology. Very useful and important in the case of same sex couples or donor conception)

He is a despicable specimen. I'm so sorry OP.

I hope everything goes smoothly from now, just wait til you hold your baby it's the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Take care.

I'm about to be moved to the labour ward, and consented for the induction. It all just feels so different to what I had planned. I don’t know if I can forgive him for this, my mum has tried to call him and he's putting both out numbers to voicemail.

OP, I hate your husband. I'm so glad you have such a lovely family supporting you. Try not to fret about the future just yet and focus on you and your little boy ❤ Everything else can wait for now. Sending you lots of love

Good luck with the birth of your baby boy. I am sorry you are going through this. Your mum should change her number to private caller which should bypass any blocking of numbers. Try and focus on you and the baby you both deserve better.

He's unforgivably shitty, but your family sound ace and you're going to be a great mum

She’s whatsapped him, because I’ve told her I want him to know. At the moment though I don’t want anyone else from his family to know about what’s going on because I need to find out what they know

Ok, focus on the birth and I really hope all goes well.

Im not sure I could forgive this behaviour.

So sorry OP, may your baby be the silver lining in this awful situation and bring you much joy when he arrives

You will be a great mum and you are not obliged to keep him updated. Look after yourself.

This is unforgivable from him.

try and just focus on baby. You can and will do this without him if you need to. Better to know now what an absolute let down he is.

you have got this.

Jesus what a shock op! I’d surmise an affair too but right now that’s actually not your priority. You must feel absolutely and understandably devastated but gather friends and family. Tell them what’s happened. Lean on them for the near future so you can manage with a prem newborn. Everything else will have to wait. Your health and that of your baby is paramount here. If you have a trusted friend/family member who can deal with him on your behalf then do that if you can. Insulate yourself as much as you can. I’m so sorry x

Wow wtf is wrong with some men?! Jesus Christ! Timing or what!!
Am so glad you have your family to help you.
Fuck him. He deserves to know nothing.
good luck. Sending you lots of love x

Aw love! I just wanted to say best of luck for the next few hours, hope everything goes OK. Your family sound great, I'm glad you have them supporting you.

Good luck with the birth. My first was born at 33+4 and was fine and is now in her 20’s. I’m glad you have your Mum sorting everything so I hope you can give birth peacefully and then once you’ve recovered you can deal with the manchild.

Sending a massive virtual hug OP. You and your baby will be fine. As much as you can focus on the positive birth of your son whilst in Labour -mIf being induced - (and except pain relief- inductions can be fricking painful!) everything else can wait! You’re doing an amazing job, can’t wait for you to meet your little boy and so glad your family are being so supportive x x

Get your family to help you get a lawyer. Make sire he pays for all he is responsible for.