33+3 weeks pregnant, high risk and my husband has just left me

[SugarPlumBiscuits]

I am 33+3 weeks pregnant. I'm currently in hospital as my waters went at 32+1 weeks. I stood up to make some tea and I was suddenly soaked, and I convinced my husband to take me into triage as something felt off. I was admitted and I am being monitored daily. Currently baby boy is showing no signs of distress, and there aren't any signs of infection so they're hopeful we can make it to 35 weeks.

My husband has been working still, and coming to visit me in the mornings and evenings. He hasn't been overly happy about it, but he's been coming. In terms of day time my mum, sisters and friends have been taking it in turns to come and see me, and last weekend my mum brought a nice lunch for us to have together.

Last night my husband came and was pretty angry, he was saying he didn't have time for this anymore and he was saying he couldn't keep doing this.

Then out of nowhere he said he'd be packing his things and leaving the house. He told me he wouldn't be there any didn't want to hear when the baby came, because he didn't care. I feel completely blindsided, things were great before I went into hospital and we were really looking forward to our baby boy's arrival.

I have no idea what to do now. I can't face getting a lawyer, and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because I will just break down and disturb the other women on the ward.

Just posting to vent really, as I feel so alone and broken

His family’s reaction implies they think he’s had a breakdown but at this point in time he’s incidental.
You, your son and your mum are important now. In the background your sisters and dad are doing a tremendous job, proving how much they love you.
The medical staff and MN are firmly holding your hand OP. Stay strong. ❤️

What an awful thing for him to do. So glad you have family to support you.

Definitely this, he mustn’t think he can wash his hands of his wife and son. What an absolute scumbag.

So sorry OP. I do hope tonight is safe and peaceful for you and your little one. I’m glad your birth family is rallying around to look after you.

Wishing you the very best of luck tonight. Can’t believe your DH is such a waste of space and oxygen. Glad to hear you have a supportive family around you. Take care, thinking of you.

I really am so sorry sorry 💗
in terms of baby, my waters broke at 20 weeks, we made it to 37, if that gives you some hope about baby and being able to make it to 35.
please do tell the midwives to they can support you xxx

You can do this @SugarPlumBiscuits Dd's partner walked out on her when heavily pregnant with their planned baby. She has done it all alone with support from me and the rest of the family. Dgs is 6 now a beautiful, happy and much loved little boy. Dd's exp has never seen him, he wanted nothing to do with him. Dd discovered that he'd got his ex wife pregnant shortly before dd and he married someone else soon after. Suspect she had a lucky escape tbh. Make sure you get maintenance sorted as soon as you can.

Hello, first of all congratulations on the imminent birth of your baby boy - you are about to know a love like no other & your life will revolve around this tiny boy. 35 weeks is a good gestation so try not to worry too much I'm sure you are in very capable hands. I just want to touch on your husbands behaviour - if he is otherwise a loving, caring husband who has been excited for the baby to arrive, then it is entirely possible he is suffering from a form of pre-natal depression. It is possible for men to suffer from this & especially if he is concerned about you & the baby. There is also a possibility that he is just a careless man & has chosen the worst possible time to reveal this. For now, choose the path that is going to make things easiest for you - there is no need to make difficult decisions right now. There is also no shame in looking for support from your husband if you need it right now, you can make the hard decisions later. I wish you and your baby boy a safe delivery & all the peace you can find.

Good luck op- you’ve got this xx

Two happy homes are always better than a mother who puts her penis owner first instead of her baby. Choose your child and yourself. If I were you, I would see if a divorce lawyer can meet u in hospital…. Hell of a case. Mother jilted with risky pregnancy!

What a shock. You are right to think other woman. When my husband suddenly turned unbelievably cruel it was another woman

I'm so sorry about your H op. You can deal with him later. Please put him, and his family out of your mind as much as you can for now. They know where you are. You need all of your strength and focus for you and your baby.

Good luck tonight, I'm rooting for you. I hope you find some peace when you meet your son. Its the best feeling in the world. Your family sound amazing, let them support you all the way. You can do this.

Once all the hormones settle find your inner anger. Can anyone support you in real life?

It's getting harder not to hate most of them.

This is so random. How can he do this to you?

For now, focus on labour and recovery. I can’t believe he was mad at you for being in hospital. It seems he is hiding something. I would want to know what’s going on and why he is so upset - but he should be grown up enough to have a conversation with you as opposed to being passive aggressive.

Good luck with labour xx

How bloody awful for you OP. I just wanted to wish you lots of luck and strength for the hours to come

That sounds so stressful OP. Stay strong, you can do this. Your mothering instinct will kick in to keep you and your son safe. If baby daddy doesn't want to know, don't tell him! He doesn't deserve to know (I know that's harsh). Lean on your family for support.

My DC#2 was born at 34+6 in a hurry (my waters went at 34+4 then I got sepsis) and needed special nursery for a couple of weeks. They told us to expect DC to be ready for discharge on the due date, anything earlier is a bonus. Just to prepare you (DC got home on 38+2 & you'd never know he was an early baby).

Take careers.

Good luck Op.
I had a similar experience with my ExH , my DS is 17 now. I am his No1, even though he has a relationship with his Dad, I am the one he, loves, respects, appreciates, listens to the most. Your son will know too. 💙

Just thinking of you OP xxx

As above. Also wanted to say my youngest was induced and its such a good feeling to know you are nearing the finishing line.
Take it all step by step. and don't worry about anything other than yourself and your lovely baby boy. You have a wonderful family to lean on. Wishing you all the very best x

Wow, OP, he sounds absolutely horrible. Sorry to be so blunt but I can tell you, as a divorcee and a mother, that this is undoubtedly a blessing in disguise. It's going to be a hard, hard time but you WILL get through it and you will be SO much better off without this awful person in your and your baby's life. Lean on all of your friends and family. Hugs

Wishing you and your baby all the best, OP. It all starts here, with you two.

Thinking of you op. You’re doing amazing and baby boy is so lucky to have a mummy like you 😘

Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry to read this. You poor thing. Please please tell the midwives there, it’s so important you have extra support ok? And do not worry about the other ladies there at all. Firstly, pregnant women cry all the time anyway so they probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid but also they’d probably want to support you too!!!
My husband left me at 3 months pregnant, just after the first scan. I’m so sorry he did this. You do NOT deserve this.
I want you to TRY and focus on just you and your baby. Imagine the hospital is its own little bubble where it’s just you and your gorgeous little boy you’re growing. You’re doing so so so well. I’m glad you’ve had lots of support coming in to see you. If you’d like another friend, add me on instagram (kentcountrygirl) if you want any advice, support or someone to talk to who has been through similar.
Just don’t bottle it in ok? Xxx

Good luck op. Focus on yourself and your baby- that's all that's important now. You can do this 💪.

Literally have no words for what your husband has done to you.

Hope all goes well with the induction, Your family sound absolutely wonderful ♥️