Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

The only time I spent 6 hours with a man i had just met was once when I picked up a guy at a party and we checked into a hotel for the night. We've been married for 20 years now.

He is not going to call you, he wanted sex, charmed you to try and get it, didn't get it and cut his losses.

This, a thousand times this

....or there is something else going on in life, not neccesarily seeing another woman. Maybe he's got a cold.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

We’ve all been there OP, but please don’t chase.

Do not send the message. Hope I’m not too late and I know I’m the 159th person to say that but please please don’t contact him
and get busy with your next project and be happy and optimistic about it.

enjoy your life

Good luck x

He is married

Hang on, you went out Friday, you messaged all day Saturday and then no messages on Sunday and the consensus is to throw him back? Eh- you have only met him once and literally known him 48 hours and he is being vilified for not being in constant contact.
what am I missing here?

Walk away. He's playing you. He's already playing mind games to see how desperate you are to see him again. If he is a decent bloke and genuinely likes you and wants to take things further, he'd have been in contact a lot more over the weekend. Block him and move on. He's not worth the headspace. Highly unlikely to be a genuine reason for him suddenly not replying/not contacting you. After all it only takes a few seconds to send a "holding" text/message if something genuine had come up such as a family crisis, car break down, called into work etc.

Funnily enough, you can still use your hand/fingers to send a text even if you've got a cold - unless it's so bad he's been admitted to ICU!!!!!

Almost certainly the case, especially after a "hot kiss" at the end of the evening - he was expecting to be invited back to yours for "coffee"! He was still hoping for it the next day, but obviously he's got a better offer or realised he wasn't going to get his leg over Saturday either!

Yes this, definitely. Not worth it.

Ah this sounds like a pattern. The 'poor communicator' is he premade excuse. A guy I was interested in said he was not not a fan of tech, another version of being primed to expect bad communication.

I gave the guy I had the experience with 28 hours and then sent him a message along the lines of "I thought there was something between us worth exploring, clearly not so I'm closing the door in this. I wish you future joy". He texted back within minutes of that one with the bad at tech excuse. He could reply fast enough when the control shifted basically, and his ego was hurt.

Met this one in the wild, had great convos before we fixed to meet outside our shared interest. My view now is he liked the chase, but not the reality. He's been a bit fucking weird since as well, but hey, not my problem. I'm left knowing I dodged a bullet in my case as I've seen his behaviour after!

So yeah, if they don't respect your time, bin them off. If you're over 40, be extra aware of your peace and wellbeing. The apps are actually quite dangerous for women 40+ compared to women in their 20s (yes, there's academic research that backs this up). Just this type of mithering shite means I just can't be arsed trying tbh.

Why on earth is saying that I move on from anyone who can't be bothered to reply needy? It is the complete opposite of needy. I don't understand your comment, especially when multiple people have since said much the same thing that I did.

It's mad isn't it. I agree with the consensus that if someone wants you, you know btw. But equally I've been on brilliant 9-hour dates, that have just led to nothing. And I think "did I imagine that chemistry?" I suppose I must have. I don't always think there's someone else by the way. I sometimes think that they're just not feeling it.

She is saying you are needy you need to be messaged within 24 hours.

Men need to go off and think about things sometimes. Let them off. That’s my thinking on it. Get on with your own life and if they come back after a time and realise how great you are and want a relationship, then great but doesn’t be chasing them or looking for crumbs off them at the beginning. Let them
off!

Agreed.

Saying he's been a bit quiet is a bit much, a bit needy and has probably meant he'll not call you again. Result.

Why not just go about your own business and if you have not heard by Saturday, consider it is time to move on? I wouldn't even bother to text back, you will look desperada!

No don't send him another message. He has already ignored you twice. If he pops up in a day or 2 with a reply and plausible excuse, up to you if you want to give him a 2nd chance. If that does happen then be cautious and go slow as you sound like someone who would get very upset if you done the deed and then ghosted for good (no judgement, I wouldn't too which is why I don't rush)
Please don't message him again without a reply. His silence is your answer, you won't get another by being forceful or looking pitiful. It will have no benefit to you or fixing this, it will just make you look a bit desperate and him thinking dodged a bullet. Sorry

You should have 4 or 5 other dates lined up with other men at this stage. I know I would.

Don’t be waiting around for anyone.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 please what's with all the texts to him..well if he did like you and wanted to see you again you've certainly put him off with your constant messaging and each getting worse..you sound desperate fgs ..you're the red flag not him

Don't send that message. It will scare him away!
You've had one date. Give him a chance to reply.

Do you have any links to the research? I’d be interested to read

How on earth do you extraplolate he is married or wants to play wit women after one date, a phone call the next morning, multiple texts and a slow fade when it gets too much. That’s even more extreme than the op