Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

I think I’m going to send another message today (fuck what he thinks!) that basically says this: “Hey, I know you’ve said communication isn’t your strong suit, but I have to be honest; going quiet like this comes across as rude and hurtful. I’d much rather you be upfront and you’re no longer interested than just disappear”
i’ll keep you all updated xx
So much drama in such a small space e of time.

I honestly think some people of both sexes enjoy the ghosting. They know the other person is wondering what is going on and is possibly confused or hurt.

Cheap thrills.

Op, just block the man. Free yourself.

I don’t think it’s drama at all. I mean it’s not at all wise to text even twice in a row but it’s not drama. You must lead a very sheltered life.

I wouldn’t message him again. Life’s too short for shit communicators. If he liked you and wanted to see you again you’d know about it.

I would leave it tbh

Just leave things and see what happens. People are allowed to change their mind, maybe he has and doesn’t like to say.

Oh thank god, a beacon of hope.

This is exactly what I was thinking! You're counting hours since you heard from him. You're asking posters when you should forget about him, how many days, since his message or yours.. what?! Just stop!

This is infantile. It's like school playground type behaviour.

You've text him. If he wants to text back, he will. If you're not happy with his level or style of communication then that's obviously your call and you have every right to cut contact because of it.

But honestly? Being like this with a man you've been on one date with seems a little batshit to me.

You don't know what's going on in his life. Just because he's been on his phone doesn't mean he has to talk to you. He may be thinking things through, something might have happened, you just don't know.

Wait. He'll either text again or he won't, and based on when that happens and what he says, you can decide if you're still interested.

In my experience when a man really likes you he will be all over you messaging and arranging the next date. I really don’t think texting multiple messages will change that. Sorry

While I think not hearing from him for a day or so after a date is not a problem and the OP is being OTT about it, I do think that bad communicator is a red flag.

Because in my experience it means "I will charm the pants off you, then you wont hear from me until I have nothing better to do or am horny I will never be your boyfriend and will always be on the lookout for the next one". So for that reason he isnt worth worrying about.

I don’t think it’s drama at all. I mean it’s not at all wise to text even twice in a row but it’s not drama. You must lead a very sheltered life.
😆 Absolutely not sheltered,but this post sounds this like a convo i hear every day at work, with the 14/15 year old girls talking to each other about boys they fancy from school.

It's been one date and the questions are just ridiculous. Eg how much more time?
A couple of days form my last message or his last message? X
Seriously?
This sums things up
Surely it isn't healthy to count in hours how long it is since somebody messaged? To be watching their online activity and ascribing meaning to it? This sounds like so much hard work
After one date?

🚩🚩🚩 (You, not him.)

You wouldn't see or hear from me again, because you're too intense and suffocating.
Crikey ☹️.

As much as I’m sure that’s true, I’m really not sure it applies here. They had a date Friday night. Spoke Saturday morning, and I’ve a feeling she initiated that call, not him. she said they spoke of a second date on the first, I’m going to guess again he didn’t commit to that for a reason.

She then Texted him till nearly seven on sat after the call, he alteady stopped responding after her last text. Indicating it was becoming too much. She spoke to him sat morning and wanted another date on sat, she said to go for a walk. She then texted Sunday to ask him if he was ok and he was quiet. Then texted him again today about the rude and hurtful thing.

I think he’s ghosted as it was too much, too full on, too fast, and I think many people would do that. It’s a lot after one date. I don’t think this is he is some weirdo who enjoys ghosting, looks like he was polite to me, but the extent of it, became too much,

'I notice you've been quiet' when it's been less than 24 hrs?
Girl I'd be ghosting too. I can't deal with the neediness.

I would be pissed off with this because I met my husband online and from day 1 since we met, he would call me daily every evening, I joined him 1 month later in his flat and we have been together now 15 years....

but I am proud also and in your case, I would just leave any contact with this man, because:

you are not compatible - you want him and a relationship too badly, but he seems to want to play with ladies or perhaps is married, not capable of commitment etc, fancied you like a person but not enough physically

Ops gone quiet and she said she'd update us ! Op come back !

Don't text anymore, just leave it, texting and asking if things are OK is a bit full on. If he wants you he'll ring, otherwise leave it now.

If I’d spent six hours on a first date with someone (yikes) then talked morning and afternoon on Saturday, I would definitely want Sunday to do my own thing. Getting a ‘hey, you’re quiet’ text after talking for two days straight would have me rethinking the whole thing. If you THEN followed up with that ‘rude and hurtful’ text I’d be locking up my bunnies.

A few posibilities:

a) He's partnered (married/GF etc..)
b) You serve yourself in a silver platter, there's no challenge for him here.
c) He's looking for a casual shag and you seem a little bit intense giving relationship vibes.

Next time don't spend 6 hours with a stranger, it gives 'desperate' vibes, like you don't have much going on. You gave way too much time and energy to an absolute stranger on a first date. A man needs to earn your love with time and good actions, you need to let him work the way to your heart.

“hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?”

Sorry but this is so intense it would give me the ick. Can’t the man enjoy his Sunday without being told off for not messaging you every second? I’d WANT a partner to be busy having a life doing hobbies and being busy. You sound really intense and your update is mental - you need a man with zero interests to keep up with your demands to contact you all the time!

Oh cringe OP! Telling him he’s rude is just going to confirm to him that he’s dodging a bullet. Just leave it.. you won’t hear back either way and if you message again he’ll just be laughing at you. It’s shit but this is the way people behave online dating these days.

For more of a kicking? This thread is just a pile on of people repeating themselves.

I think more and more people get hooked on the high of a first date.

Sorry, posted too soon! I think there are serial first daters. OLD creates the idea of variety and therefore (to people who aren't serious about finding a relationship) and sense of missing out.

So many different views on this. FWIW, my view is that:
It's one date.
Trust is earned and honestly I wouldn't not text someone I knew back within a day or so - friend, colleague, anyone.
He's not that interested but, even if he was, his behaviour doesn't make you feel good or safe.
All things considered, don't give him a second thought or a glance back and forget it.