Partner does not know I know he didn't stay home last night

[Goldleafsand]

My partner went out with friends for food and drinks last night
He msg me at 11pm saying he would be getting a taxi home soon , just having one last beer which is all fine by me of course.
We both msg goodnight and I love you to each other as I had an early start this morning
All was really good between us
I said I'd hoped he had a lovely evening with friends and he said he was looking forward to seeing me on Wednesday.

This morning my work colleague rang me and said her car wouldn't start and would I mind picking her up on the way to work , I agreed , it's absolutely no problem for me & didnt put me out of my way at all

She lives on the same cul de sac as my partner and you have to drive past his to get to hers.
As I glanced at his house I noticed every curtain was open including the bedroom ones. He also hadn't put his bin out , it's bin day
I know his house if that makes sense and it was clear he had not been home.
This was 7. 30 am , he is on annual leave , he was planning a lay in this morning , he was out with mates drinking I know him well he would no way be up that early
Anyway this surprised me a bit as he hadn't said he was staying out , however i understand things can cahnge on a night out drinking and all that and maybe he stayed at a friend's house ? Stayed for a few more drinks , who knows 🤷‍♀️

He is free to do how he pleases
However I have not heard from his at all today.
No goodmorning txts which is unlike him, even if he had been out drinking the night before he would always msg in the morning.

I am not going to say I know he didn't stay at home , I am going to sit back and watch and see if he is honest about this as there would be no reason to lie to me
I am very laid back and we both have a good group of friends and social lives so I am in no way controlling or jealous type
But there's this awful gut feeling niggling away at me and it's like my instincts are telling me something just isn't right here
I am also worrying that he is actually ok
But I don't want to bombard him with msgs either
So I'm giving it some time to see how this pans out throughout the day.
Why do I have this awful gut feeling? Is it anxiety or intuition?

What? Just because you have some weird rule about not considering yourself in a relationship until it's been a year, doesn't mean that that's the same for the OP.

A year is a commited exclusive relationship to many people and the OP has the right to be worried. In what world is she a stalker for sending a text to her boyfriend?

Do you know any of his family / friends numbers or can message them somehow?

I would try phoning now to check if he’s ok. If he doesn’t answer then I’m assuming you’ll also have to drive your colleague home so you’ll go past his house later so you can see if it looks like he’s home.

Do you know any of his friends that he went out with last night? Hopefully everything is fine, but it does seem out of character for him to not contact you. You don't even need to mention to him or his friends about the curtains, just that you haven't heard from him and that's unusual.

Update : yes we do call each other partner
We have a fantastic relationship
One of the main reasons I am so happy with him is that he respects my independence and freedom, I am so not controlling to those that have said this
We have met each other families, friends the lot.
We go out locally regularly together on a weekly basis atleast so everyone knows he's with me.
It's what I would call a healthy relationship, he is a good man & a very good communicator, has been from the start.
so this is so totally out of character

Ok, try not to worry, you know him best, for instance if he is hungover would he still be asleep and stay in bed for this long? My partner would but I am always up early with hangover.
could you check social media see if you can see when he was last online? The least you would know he was safe
try not to worry too much

If it was me I would phone one of his family/friends, purely to say 'Just checking that x is alright, as he usually responds quickly to my messages/calls, and I've not heard anything?' This would send my anxiety through the roof, worrying that he's been in an accident so I don't think you are unhinged by any means. Hopefully by the time he has slept off his hangover he will respond! Hugs x

Hope he's alright OP. Might you be able to contact one of his mates, if he doesn't get in touch by the end of the day? Not sure how long I'd leave it.

imagine something worse has happened and your initial concern was suspected he was up to something.

I would reach out to the people he was with or someone else you both know to just check if they heard anything. no harm there.

I was in hospital ones from alcohol poisoning and my girlfriend at the time send me rude messages for not saying good morning, worrying her and i was not worth it etc and she begged me to not be angry after she realised i was in hospital but her true colours had come out by then

I can understand why you are worried if you haven't heard from him this late into the day. Ignore people suggesting you are unhinged /being stalkersish, you have a right to feel concerned. This is not a new relationship, one year is showing a level if commitment, although it's often the point where things can start to go wrong and cracks can show. I wouldn't rule out unfaithfulness , but I hope its not the case for you.

I know his character. Even with a monster of hangovers he would always txt even to just say I'm hungover, let's speak later and an I love you.
I've heard nothing.
I've tried calling, phone just rings out.
He isn't massively into social media so is hardly online same as myself.
I'm not sure whether to contact a friend as after reading these posts I feel it may be seen as I'm a stalker or unhinged!!?

Do you know or have the contact details of who he was with last night? Perhaps you can chat to them. It is getting worrying, so sorry.

What would you do/how would you contact him if you hadn’t driven past his house this morning?

Do that.

No your are not a stalker you are a concerned partner! If you do know any of his mates he was out with then yes I would do that next, keep it light like someone suggested up thread.

would someone think to contact you if he had been hurt? His friends or family?

You're not unhinged or stalkerish. The difference is that he's acting different, no contact is out of character. You've every right to be worried.

Where have I said I suspect cheating? Others have in thier replies to my post, I havent

Leave it until after work, then ring him and if he doesn't answer, go round on the basis you are worried something has happened to him.

There could be a simple answer i.e. Its possible that he left his phone somewhere and can't remember your phone number - I don't know my husbands without my phone.

Chin up!

I've done that. I acted as normal

Yes definitely

I would contact one of the mates he was out with just to check everything is ok

Either contact the people he was out with last night or go round to his house on the way home from work.

Do you know his siblings or his parents? You could contact them if you've not heard from him in 24 hrs.

Did he go out drinking in the same town / city as you live or somewhere else? Would he have got a hotel room if he couldn’t het a taxi / train back? Does his mates live in the same town / city?

I wouldn't worry about this. You don't live together so he doesn't need to let you know where he is.

Hope you hear from him soon, and he's just sleeping off a bad hangover.