Partner does not know I know he didn't stay home last night

[Goldleafsand]

My partner went out with friends for food and drinks last night
He msg me at 11pm saying he would be getting a taxi home soon , just having one last beer which is all fine by me of course.
We both msg goodnight and I love you to each other as I had an early start this morning
All was really good between us
I said I'd hoped he had a lovely evening with friends and he said he was looking forward to seeing me on Wednesday.

This morning my work colleague rang me and said her car wouldn't start and would I mind picking her up on the way to work , I agreed , it's absolutely no problem for me & didnt put me out of my way at all

She lives on the same cul de sac as my partner and you have to drive past his to get to hers.
As I glanced at his house I noticed every curtain was open including the bedroom ones. He also hadn't put his bin out , it's bin day
I know his house if that makes sense and it was clear he had not been home.
This was 7. 30 am , he is on annual leave , he was planning a lay in this morning , he was out with mates drinking I know him well he would no way be up that early
Anyway this surprised me a bit as he hadn't said he was staying out , however i understand things can cahnge on a night out drinking and all that and maybe he stayed at a friend's house ? Stayed for a few more drinks , who knows 🤷‍♀️

He is free to do how he pleases
However I have not heard from his at all today.
No goodmorning txts which is unlike him, even if he had been out drinking the night before he would always msg in the morning.

I am not going to say I know he didn't stay at home , I am going to sit back and watch and see if he is honest about this as there would be no reason to lie to me
I am very laid back and we both have a good group of friends and social lives so I am in no way controlling or jealous type
But there's this awful gut feeling niggling away at me and it's like my instincts are telling me something just isn't right here
I am also worrying that he is actually ok
But I don't want to bombard him with msgs either
So I'm giving it some time to see how this pans out throughout the day.
Why do I have this awful gut feeling? Is it anxiety or intuition?

Send a txt “ tried calling, no answer, u ok? “
” I’ll come over with some food if you need after a good night?”

I occasionally forget to turn my ringer on & have even been known to leave phone in my/DH car (to the point of adult offspring having to search for the ruddy thing, as I’d also forgotten I’d had to move DH car so I could get mine on drive & left said device in his car 🙄😊)
I hope there’s some sort of daft explanation like ⬆️.

Its probably on silent and he is sleeping off a hangover on a friend's sofa.Dont go crazy already.
He is a grown man .

I wouldn’t do anything yet OP. Hopefully he’s fine, went back to a friend’s house, carried on drinking, and is still sleeping off the effects. Go home after work as normal, then call one of his friends or family, at about 8 pm if he hasn’t been in touch by then. I’d stop calling him too. Just try and give it a more time. Fingers crossed all is ok.

I am not going crazy 😂

May he’s lost his phone ? I’d give it until after work then if still no answer I’d definitely drive over to his to check.
And no you’re not stalkerish either for doing that.

Maybe he went back to a friend’s house but left his phone in a taxi. If he was really drunk, perhaps he’s so hungover that it hasn’t occurred to him to contact you. Maybe he’s looking for his phone!
hope it all turns out ok.

Just to clarify to all those saying unhinged, stalker or crazy
I have msg my partner once today, this morning, as usual normal txt.
I haven't contacted him anymore than that until 20 minutes ago when I tried calling to just check he is ok.... it rang out. I've left it.
No other txts sent by me. No other calls made by me .
Sooner or later , any communication to your partner will be seen as unhinged 😂

I admit I am worried about his welfare as this is out of character.
I think all of my posts need to be read before such harsh judgements are made

Not read the thread, just your responses, OP. Could he have dropped his phone in the taxi to his mates or at the bar? I’ve done this a couple of times and it’s a ballache because you then can’t really let people know you’re ok until you get it back. If he’s then slept off the hangover, he could be trying to track it down right now.

It’s not really a stretch, given it’s happened to me more than once! Completely understand why you’re worried now though!

So, only when cohabiting is a person allowed to be concerned? How strange!

I would phone someone to pop by to see if he is OK. He might be at home and unable to move or get to his phone.

Well said @Goldleafsand, and good suggestions about losing his phone - keep us updated some of us do get your concern

Ignore any judgements. This is your partner, it's part of your job to care! Do what feels right to you and really, ignore the others. You're doing great and it's absolutely lovely that your fella has a caring g/f. Let us know how you get on please and hope all is well.

He's not accountable to her re: his whereabouts at every moment because they don't live together.

I don't actually think you read the OP's post before responding.

I’m thinking back to my own ‘worst hangover’ when I went out for bottomless brunch and ended up out until 2am, I slept until 4pm the next day.

Give it until you finish work say 5pm and try calling again, if you get no answer I’d definitely contact one of the group he was out with to see if they can shed any light.

OP can you leave work and go and check if he is at home asleep?

That's okay, you can keep leaving nasty comments to strangers on the Internet to distract from your dull life

Ignore those saying you’re unreasonable. I’d be concerned in your shoes.
Hope he gets in touch soon.

Nasty? Blimey, you're delicate. You can judge someone else but get all upset if someone doesn't agree with your judgement? Read the OP's posts.

Hope he’s ok have you been to the house to check on him?

I'd be worried too OP. I hope he's ok.

Op this is mumsnet. No matter what the situation someone will always make out you're in the wrong.

Ignore judgey people.

In your shoes I would try a friend or go past your bfs house again.

I honestly think that you should try contacting the friends he was out with if you have their contact details.

I also think you should ignore the unpleasant pp on here who are accusing you of all sorts just because you are legitimately concerned about a man you care about.

I'm amazed any one dares to start a thread on MN sometimes because so many posters see them as fair target for venting their spleen.

Stupid question but do you have any way of contacting any of his friends? social media etc?