Partner does not know I know he didn't stay home last night

[Goldleafsand]

My partner went out with friends for food and drinks last night
He msg me at 11pm saying he would be getting a taxi home soon , just having one last beer which is all fine by me of course.
We both msg goodnight and I love you to each other as I had an early start this morning
All was really good between us
I said I'd hoped he had a lovely evening with friends and he said he was looking forward to seeing me on Wednesday.

This morning my work colleague rang me and said her car wouldn't start and would I mind picking her up on the way to work , I agreed , it's absolutely no problem for me & didnt put me out of my way at all

She lives on the same cul de sac as my partner and you have to drive past his to get to hers.
As I glanced at his house I noticed every curtain was open including the bedroom ones. He also hadn't put his bin out , it's bin day
I know his house if that makes sense and it was clear he had not been home.
This was 7. 30 am , he is on annual leave , he was planning a lay in this morning , he was out with mates drinking I know him well he would no way be up that early
Anyway this surprised me a bit as he hadn't said he was staying out , however i understand things can cahnge on a night out drinking and all that and maybe he stayed at a friend's house ? Stayed for a few more drinks , who knows 🤷‍♀️

He is free to do how he pleases
However I have not heard from his at all today.
No goodmorning txts which is unlike him, even if he had been out drinking the night before he would always msg in the morning.

I am not going to say I know he didn't stay at home , I am going to sit back and watch and see if he is honest about this as there would be no reason to lie to me
I am very laid back and we both have a good group of friends and social lives so I am in no way controlling or jealous type
But there's this awful gut feeling niggling away at me and it's like my instincts are telling me something just isn't right here
I am also worrying that he is actually ok
But I don't want to bombard him with msgs either
So I'm giving it some time to see how this pans out throughout the day.
Why do I have this awful gut feeling? Is it anxiety or intuition?

why did his phone not ring with the French dial tone when he didn’t pick it up. I have been watching too many Vera shows though

Oh goodness he's going to have a terrible hangover.
Thanks for update OP .
You'll laugh about it in years to come ...I think you'll still be together !

You don't need any kind of detective knowledge to wonder about that, it's one of the obvious she needs to ask him.

And thanks to the collective ferry knowledge above how two men without a car even got onto the ferry in the first place

I’m glad he’s ok but it would be a red flag for me. I suppose it depends how old you are but neither the drinking, not the irresponsible behaviour and randomly ending up in France are qualities I want in a partner. I find it impossible to believe that it took until 8pm to charge his phone and contact you. It just took him that long to be arsed to call. Utterly thoughtless.

As @ThrowAwayHooray and I have explained night ferries do not take foot passengers. It is impossible to find an uber driver who would agree to go to Calais (I have actually tried before). How do you imagine it? You have to arrive an hour or so before ferry departure for check in, then go through lengthy border control, then 1.5 hours from Dover to Calais and then the uber driver would have to do this whole journey back (plus have his passport). It is impossible and would cost thousands even if it was (which it is not!).

The only way he could have ended up in Calais in the middle of the night is if he was with someone who was driving.

If his battery went how did his phone ring and messages get delivered?

The OPs explanation makes zero sense to me. However sometimes some people simply need an explanation to hold onto. It doesn't matter if the explanation makes sense.

I've been there and done that, years ago. And it all came out in the wash eventually

It doesn’t sound much like fun to me. Bit each to their own

That's quite the update! 🤣

Oh if only there was some way you could leave a message for someone when they wake up, like some kind of system where you could send it while they sleep to be sitting there hours later.

I guess if you're likely to go on a 24 hour bender and wake up in another country with a mate then it's all cool. It's not something I would do and I would not be impressed with a bloke who did it.

I’m glad he is ok, but I wouldn’t be very happy if I were the OP

I agree with this. Sorry op. But if your ok with it then each to their own

In hospital for alcohol poisoning? I think you should have apologised to your gf, not the other way round!

Drinking for like 2 days and nights straight and ending up in France without telling you. Sorry OP but he sounds like an unstable loser, I had a boyfriend who would leave me hanging for days and come up with stories like this. It was a nightmare. I’d cut my losses if I were you.

Well this has been a crazy thread.
Some of the unpleasant posts were really annoying.
But now the amount of pp that actually seem to believe the guy's supposed story are just amazing me.

lo I did exactly this with a colleague years ago, randomly decided to get a ferry to France after a small pub quiz win and one too many ciders. Taxi to pick up passport, taxi to ferry and away 🙂

I’m not sure I’d be completely believing his far fetched story. But glad he is ok. Most hotels have charging points. How did they get to the ferry? Plus passports. So many questions! I actually am wondering if Amsterdam is more fun than Calais as a drunk male? Id be investigating properly op!

This doesn’t stack up. You can only travel to Calais by ferry as a foot passenger at 09:45, 13:40 and 16:40. He would not have been able to travel there at night.

Also messages delivered and phone ringing out meant his phone was on and hadn’t died.

I don’t believe that story at all. You couldn’t have got a train that late to Dover and just hopped onto a boat (on foot!) being drunk. How could he have gone from having one more drink to then being so pissed to then go on a trip? Absolutely ridiculous. If this thread is even real, I wouldn’t be believing him at all.

Also op, when you text a good morning text you said his phone was on so if he had managed to get a charger why didn't he text you back ? Its all very confusing

Not sure if someone’s said this already or not, I’ve only read your posts OP.

I’m pretty sure the ferries to Calais (from Dover) don’t allow foot passengers at 2am in the morning. Hm.

Ignoring the dubious they were so drunk they went home, got passports, got a train to Dover (I assume?), then ferry to Calais, then somehow booked accommodation at 3:30am? All successfully booked and sorted in the early hours whilst inebriated. Hm.

I think you deserve better OP.

Where do you live @Goldleafsand , the only way I'd begin to think about believing him is if you live in or near Dover. Calias to me is just too random to negotiate getting to in a very drunken state from anywhere else

Or do the small boats take passengers on their return journeys for a bit of extra cash?

To be fair they could have got a morning crossing. I've re-read the update and it all could have taken quite some time.

"They ended up getting more and more drunk and decided in a very drunken state to get a train then the ferry to calais 😮"

Could easily have taken several hours, especially given they had to pop home for passports first 🤨

For crazy drunken escapades he scores 10/10 🤣.
Glad he's OK.