Interesting conversation I just had with a man about cheating... Want to hear others perspective.

[ForeverHopeful3]

I am in the "talking" phase with a man who's been pretty good to me so far! We're a few hours away from each other but we've gone on 2.5 dates and both were good, he's consistent, he's showing he's intentional with me, etc etc.

Today, we had an interesting conversation that somehow morphed into cheaters.

He was explaining to me why it's okay for men to have sex with multiple women, even in relationships, and why it's not the same for women.

Basically: first, its biological. Men have always had multiple women. He used the example of kings having multiple queens to have their children. He also said that when a man sleeps with a woman, he doesn't have to have an emotional connection to her. So when a man "cheats" on his girlfriend, she shouldn't leave him because he still loves her, and not the other girl. He just had the physical part with the other girl. But for a woman, its different, because most women need an emotional connection with the man before she sleeps with him. So her cheating on a man means she doesn't love her man anymore or she isn't emotionally connected to him. Also, he used examples of how Muslim men have multiple wives.

He did say he's not saying its right or wrong, he's saying that its okay for men to cheat because they still love whoever it is that they are married to or in a relationship with.

I said that cheating is a huge betrayal and it shows there's no meaning behind your word. Now, I did throw in that if the man is up front with his woman and tells her "HEY I AM GOING TO BE WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN" and she knows this and is okay with it, then that's on her and its not cheating at that point.

BUT, if he does that behind her back, that's not right.

What are your thoughts?

It’s his well practised speech when he gets caught cheating and is trying to persuade them not to leave him.

He’s just trying it a bit early on you, to lay the groundwork before it happens.

Serial cheater vibes.

Sorry, I’m also desperate to know what 2.5 dates means?!

That’s Henry the Eighth btw, not the 15th

I’d block/ghost him, he doesn’t even deserve an explanation after that!

Sounds like he’s balls-deep in the manosphere.

LOL this guy is really setting it out isn’t he. I would mainly object to the idea that it’s fine for men and not women. He has a very low opinion of women as humans doesn’t he.

Kingdoms and multiple wives are fundamentally regressive.

Massive double standards and misogynist to boot. I’d throw him back for that, never mind the fact that he’s inevitably going to cheat on you.

I wouldn’t waste any more seconds on him

This is a classic from the manosphere!! ‘Trust me bro’ women can’t cheat and man can cause of all this made up stuff I just said!! Really interesting conversation 🤔

Ugh . He thinks men are superior and have innate , special drives that mean they can do whatever they like because it’s biology and they can’t help it .

He is telling you he can’t commit and doesn’t intend to. I think men are more likely to cheat as they are less committed than women and think they can get away with it generally. Women I think tend to cheat for a reason they are unhappy for example. He sounds honest in one way, did you ask him if it applies to him, if he cheats etc? As I think that’s where the conversation was heading.

I would state that it’s okay for women to block and ghost men because they think we’re dumb enough to believe this shit.

There have been a few places where polyandry, the practise of a woman taking multiple husbands is practised. A lot of his examples the women didn’t have much choice in those situations. The whole argument that men don’t fall for the person they are cheating with is absolute nonsense - men often leave their wives for a younger model and that often starts out as an affair.

I would throw back anyone who makes these arguments as he will cheat and he has a low opinion of women. If he is quoting Andrew Tate and justifying his opinions of women with the actions of one woman who cheated on him he is not a keeper. A lot of people get cheated on, we don’t use it to shape our world view or judge a whole gender 10 years later. He is making statements that lump all men and all women into different categories like women only have sex for love while men just need the physical etc. I dated a guy like that once and it is all a little narcissistic- ‘it’s not as bad for you as it is for me because you are a woman’. It was all about how things effected him, what I should be doing to make him happy but he didn’t have to make an effort whatsoever - I threw him back quickly!

coms on are you really that desperate?

If he agrees with Andrew Tate who is facing charges of rape, actual bodily harm and people trafficking, he is a brainwashed misogynist who thinks that men have the right to sex with women, even when the woman doesn't want to.

The first thing that stood out to me was the 2.5 dates. What’s that about OP?

Secondly and more importantly - why are you even entertaining this man after he has said this?

This is a classic case of when someone shows you who they are - believe them. In this case whether he cheats or not he’s a simple minded red-pilled misogynist who regurgitates online nonsense.

Any sensible woman with standards would run not walk away from this situation immediately.

Maybe in the old days of uncertain paternity PLUS sexism and misogyny not letting women own their own shit- I could see his point. Maybe women have to have an emotional connection because their survival depends on it with men having more power.

Nowadays where paternity can be proven, contraceptiion is available and women aren’t owned by their closest male relative I would say that women could also have multiple partners in the same way a man would.

Queen Méabh says he can get tae feck.

I am loving this, presumably autocorrect; 'setting out his stool'. He is indeed talking shit after all.

As a previous poster said, it's not even original. It's right up there with 'my wife doesn't understand me'.

There are some strange numbers in these posts, 2.5 dates?

He's explained to you why it's ok for men to cheat... You're not ok with cheating.
So stop talking to him, as he's made it clear he will cheat one day as it's not an issue for him.

If he already has these black and white views on men and women now, imagine being in a relationship with him?

This one is not a keeper.

You can do better.

He sounds revolting