Interesting conversation I just had with a man about cheating... Want to hear others perspective.

[ForeverHopeful3]

I am in the "talking" phase with a man who's been pretty good to me so far! We're a few hours away from each other but we've gone on 2.5 dates and both were good, he's consistent, he's showing he's intentional with me, etc etc.

Today, we had an interesting conversation that somehow morphed into cheaters.

He was explaining to me why it's okay for men to have sex with multiple women, even in relationships, and why it's not the same for women.

Basically: first, its biological. Men have always had multiple women. He used the example of kings having multiple queens to have their children. He also said that when a man sleeps with a woman, he doesn't have to have an emotional connection to her. So when a man "cheats" on his girlfriend, she shouldn't leave him because he still loves her, and not the other girl. He just had the physical part with the other girl. But for a woman, its different, because most women need an emotional connection with the man before she sleeps with him. So her cheating on a man means she doesn't love her man anymore or she isn't emotionally connected to him. Also, he used examples of how Muslim men have multiple wives.

He did say he's not saying its right or wrong, he's saying that its okay for men to cheat because they still love whoever it is that they are married to or in a relationship with.

I said that cheating is a huge betrayal and it shows there's no meaning behind your word. Now, I did throw in that if the man is up front with his woman and tells her "HEY I AM GOING TO BE WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN" and she knows this and is okay with it, then that's on her and its not cheating at that point.

BUT, if he does that behind her back, that's not right.

What are your thoughts?

Block and move on. He isn’t a sexist idiot.

Sounds like he is telling you the excuse for when he does eventually cheat and when he does he can say he did warn you that was what he was going to do.

I’d be kicking to the kerb for the attitudes alone OP. Stinks of Andrew Tate sort of stuff to me and I’d be a little concerned this is just the start that he’s willing show you in the honeymoon period. God knows what he’ll be saying a few years in.

Gross misogynist.

Sounds like you're going to continue seeing him though.

My thoughts are that he is a misogynistic shit who doesn't merit any more of your time being wasted on him.

Come on, OP, you know you can do better than this.

I used to have arguments with this when I was young and had the energy to have these kind of banal discussions with bores

my counter argument was that: there are equal amount of men and women, where would all these surplus women come from, and how would he be sure he would be of the kind of men with multiple women, and not one of the servant males or soldiers with zero women? Zero! Not all men were kings. Less than 0.00001% were……

this argument would maybe count if you actually were a king or a billionaire (I’d still have no interest in you then)

Nope. Big fat nope.

I am so confused. What about lesbians then, how do they cheat?

Your next conversation?

There should be no next conversation. He’s told you he’s going to cheat on you. Get rid of him - or - pay the price later. Lunacy to continue to date someone who’s said this.

"He was explaining to me why it's okay for men to have sex with multiple women"

^ at this point, I would have told him it isn't going to work out, and blocked him.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you The Patriarchy.
come on OP, do better. My Fanny would involuntarily seal over at the first mention of this claptrap.

Good grief, no need for a next conversation! You can just text him to tell him you don't see a future in the relationship and wish him the best for the future. Why bother trying to tell him?

My ex husband was a muslim from a country that allows 4 wives. I had many trips over there and many conversations with said wives when the men were out. After some time I was able to ask how does a man satisfy 4 women? She explained they don't! Thats why fgm is the usual so that women don't enjoy sex, its purely for childbearing.

He’s definitely shagging others as well as you.

If a friend gol you this about a new man, what would your advice be?

He's going to cheat on you and rub your nose in it

What he is telling you is that he is a misogynist

And you sat there and listened to all of that with a straight face? This guy is absolute clown.

Eyeroll all you want he is literally telling you who he is and ye old my ex wife did it to me is bollocks maybe she did maybe she didn't maybe he cheated and he blamed her

Either way his views are concerning if your into monogamy because he is laying out his groundwork early on the whole I cant help it im a man! I'm traumatised! my ex did it to me so I thought you would too! i decided to get in first!

Just use condoms and dont be surprised when he cheats because you sound like you actually believe this virtual stranger when he assures you he won't do it 🙄

Massive eye roll and move on, not even worth entertaining perspectives like that.

Hell of a convo to have so early on - he must know how it looks. He’s either setting you up for how he will behave, or he’s stupid.. I’d move on from this one …

Oh come on. The man’s an idiot. Is he a king? Or Muslim? Or a Mormon? He is Joe Blogs from Coventry (or wherever) who fancies himself as an alpha male entitled to sleep around. Bet he likes quite a bit of what Andrew Tate churns out.

In our next conversation, I'm going to lay it down and tell him that I have no intention with being with someone who is going to go into multiple relationships with me.

Why bother with this when he has played his cards and they are so so sode of the mark for a healthy relationship. You are a couple of dates in

And that's funny to you? Not the biggest, deepest red flag there ever was?

Or, maybe, that you have no intention of being in a relationship with the sort of twat who thinks there is a justification for men to cheat, but no counterpart justification for women.