I’ve got the Ick and I don’t want to fix it

[theickisrealurgh]

It’s finally happened, my partner has given me the biggest ick that I just don’t want to be with him anymore. The sheer thought of being with him for much longer fills me with dread.

He’s paying for his daughter to have breast implants, she’s 19. I think it’s weird, and it’s made me feel sick. It’s want she wants and I get that, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me. It might be normal to some and if it was anything else I wouldn’t be bothered but I can’t shift this feeling of discomfort. She’s a B cup.

I get on with his daughter very well, never had an issue so it’s not that. Luckily we don’t live together but we have been together for 10 years.

I don’t know how to get out of this

It's actually one of the most concerning things I've ever read on here.

That's understandable. I think the first thing is to have a very specific conversation, starting with the inappropriate message. Be very clear about your concerns and how his language and behaviour make you feel.

So you have a child together…

and she has parents that supposedly are together

and she is 50/50 with you both?

well that’s a bit fucked up

Why bother

Did you read the message he sent the OP?

He is… gross.

No point having a round table with him about feelings

It is not "tosh". You're unhappy with your body, you said so.
Plus, my other points about this situation weren't "tosh" either.
If you think that's acceptable, crack on.

I agree with you! I'm just thinking about how she starts the conversation, because she's trying to avoid a confrontation.
I'd just tell him to F off, but no doubt certain people on here would think that's "tosh"!

I have a friend who's a FF & body is a size 10. She's spent her whole adult life with back ache, struggling to find bras that fit her, hiding her breasts as they attract unwanted attention from men, having to wear separates because she can't find dresses that fit & has to buy 'outsized tops' that only fit around the bust, but no-where else. When I had my 'boob fund' she didn't understand it & used to say that she wished she had small pert breasts like me.

At 63 I love my 32AA breasts even though they may be hard to find & I look much the same from the front as from the back. 😂

Maybe if some men weren't so disgusting, their partners wouldn't need to post on here for advice and support.

Quite. Disgusting is a mild term for this man.

Good question MissFenellaPrism.

A supportive & sensible question to ask.

So OP?......

I had and paid for my own boob job when o was 19, now 30. I have never regretted the decision, my dad did not pay and tbh I didn’t really discuss it with him becaat that age I would have found it embarrassing. If he had the money to give his daughter fair enough, I don’t think it’s particularly strange

The only thing I could think of that would make it slightly less icky is maybe he's covering his embarrassment using this language?
Probably not but just possible?

I don't think it's the surgery in itself, or that he's paying for it. It's his language around the issue.

Of course, I didn’t read that until after I had posted. I do agree that was icky!!

I imagine there are other things too , and it’s not just this.

Personally, if his daughter is very unhappy and has asked for this as it will make her happy then I would say it’s actually very kind of him to do it. Depends on the situation and how it’s came about.

The way you write , makes me think that you believe this isn’t the case and actually makes me think that you might think he’s doing it because she wants to look appealing to men and he agrees with it - to think your partner feels like this when it is his own daughter is deeply concerning.

Would you feel the same about someone paying for their adult daughter’s breast implants if it was the mother doing it?

What a lovely post. I think so many of us have body issues, this is an example of what love really is, and what truly decent men are like. 💕

My late mother paid for my facelift. She was one of the least beauty obsessed women I’ve known but she didn’t want me to take out a loan for it. Not that I was on the breadline - I wasn’t but I just didn’t have the money readily available to blow several thousand pounds on something non-essential. Mind you, she did say if I died under anaesthetic she’d never forgive herself. 😂. Sadly, she herself died very suddenly before I had it done so she never got to see the results of her generosity.

@Itwilldiedownno. We are together and have a dc. We both have our own homes. I have the baby full time.

He’s not with his other dds mum, they split 15 years ago. His dd19 is with her parents 50/50.

What he said in the text is really gross.

But you didn't mention till way into the thread that he and her mum are paying for the procedure . You also said that she's had the procedure too , so do you think he's been pushed into paying towards it?

Crass. I’d wonder if my DH had a brain tumour if he said a thing like that.

@SupersensitiveI think his daughter just strives to be beautiful, but she already is. She’s such a stunning young woman and she has the personality to match.

He’s incredibly immature, and does stupid things that turn my stomach. I’ve spoken to him time and time again but it’s in one ear and out the other. I’ve been flogging a dead horse for years and should have ended this before it really got going

Good luck, OP

I'm sorry, but I can't get over the 'playing with her titties' message. That would make my vagina slam shut for ever. 😱

I would just quote that & say that we're over.

MN have got your back OP. Good luck my lovely (as we say down yer in the SW)😘

Well, hopefully now you will.
Good luck.