I’ve got the Ick and I don’t want to fix it

[theickisrealurgh]

It’s finally happened, my partner has given me the biggest ick that I just don’t want to be with him anymore. The sheer thought of being with him for much longer fills me with dread.

He’s paying for his daughter to have breast implants, she’s 19. I think it’s weird, and it’s made me feel sick. It’s want she wants and I get that, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me. It might be normal to some and if it was anything else I wouldn’t be bothered but I can’t shift this feeling of discomfort. She’s a B cup.

I get on with his daughter very well, never had an issue so it’s not that. Luckily we don’t live together but we have been together for 10 years.

I don’t know how to get out of this

😬

You are going to need to stay on your guard around your DD, his language is foul and it suggests a deeper misogyny than you may have realised.

Whilst she's young it may be fine but as she hits puberty you'll really need to watch out for red flags.

Gross! At least you don’t live together. Do you think you’ll split with him soon?

Breasts are sexualised body parts: could that be why?
Also, please tell me if I am wrong: can it affect the ability to breastfeed?
Also depends what is being implanted: if the product is toxic and leaks. I may well be way behind the times and breast implants may be totally safe these days.

The issue isn't the breast augumentation as that is between her and her parents and I certainly know of two nose jobs that were done for confidence issues.

Its the language in the text that is completely awful. THAT is the issue.
Not that her dad is supporting her, or that she felt comfortable discussing it.

Trump makes my skin crawl.
His comments about his daughters are beyond foul too.
He has exposed where his mind is regarding his daughter, which is in the gutter.

"he is sat (presumably in the room watching) as the doctor examines her"

Unless he lied and gave the doc to believe he was her sugar daddy rather than her actual father, I seriously doubt that happened. Like an HCP would be okay intimately examining an adult female in the presence of her father. Nope. Like pp says that screams "incest" red flags all over.

Message him back with exactly that:

I feel repulsed beyond repair

She needs to understand that shes going to need a lot of her own money to maintain them, and also a possible mastopexy to repair the damage when she realises they arent what she thought.

19getting a boobjob being paid for by her father. All i can say is wow!

Was debating to myself whether Dads should/shouldn’t pay for this (other arguments aside) then I saw the text update - no debate necessary now.
Disgusting misogynistic view of dr examination and language around it re any woman - but around his daughter, I have no words.
Many icks I’d never get past here, and wouldn’t care for myself if I did.
Hope you work out a smooth split and keep his foul viewpoints out of earshot of your daughter going forwards.
Best wishes to you OP.

Only read your replies OP but I fully agree with you. If my dad ever referred to my breasts in any context (not that he would!) and called them titties, I'd feel very uncomfortable around him. But even to pay for them just so she can become and influencer (for men's pleasure basically!) doesn't sit well with me at all 🤢

If you are pleased fair enough.

But I'm afraid consulting your father about the size of your breasts and him investing money in an operation to change their size still gives me a sense of real inappropriateness. It's not the sort of interest a father should have in his daughters breasts.

'Titties' = 🤢
'Titties' + daughter = 🤢🤮

It's beyond belief that a father would describe his daughter's medical consultation as 'the doctor's playing around with her titties'. That's seriously fucked up

That is fuckin rank. My skin would be crawling to OP. Just no

No, it wouldn't be ok.

But you don’t live together?

There's no coming back from speaking about his daughter like that.
Run.

If this is real id be checking this man's hard drive

Even responsible practitioners of cosmetic surgery are supposed to examine the reasons why some one wants the procedure done.
Wanting cosmetic surgery is very much bound up with self esteem and issues connected with mental health.
As parents the mental health of our children should very much be of concern to us.
So of course if the woman is actually a young adult the parents can't " tell" her to seek counselling for her mental health but they can certainly advise her to do so. They are failing as parents if they didn't try and get her to address the reasons why she feels she needs for the surgery

He actually wrote that? 🤢

His intellectual limitations will make it easier for you to out maneuver him, so that's something in your favour.

He's not. There's someone here who needs to work through issues, but not the family.

Would you feel this way of Mum was paying?
Have you had a discussion with him about why his daughter wants breast enlargement - perhaps , just perihaps he wants to to be happy and this is how she will be

I was on the fence until that text. Vile.

Brilliant to have a close relationship with one's father...but there are boundaries!

My sister was at one point considering a breast reduction and mentioned it to our Dad. He was v. supportive (she's a J cup) but the emphasis on his side was about the relief for her back/shoulders and if she needed any help researching a surgeon with a great record/reputation etc.

'Titties'/ sizes etc. were NEVER a part of the conversation. You can support without being an absolute creep.

My dsis and bil paid for my niece’s boob job. She’s 4ft 10 and had a AA cup, and at 25 she wanted to feel more womanly.
At no time did her father refer to her titties.
Gross, immature and inappropriate. Major ick.

This.
With bells on.

It's not uncommon in some other Latin American countries either - I was wondering if there could be a cultural background element here? Not saying your ick isn't valid though! (And I would be the same, particularly about the message...)