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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My husband just attacked me

426 replies

OneSnug · 29/08/2025 19:09

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and my husband just attacked me in an argument and kicked me in the stomach. Our entire relantionship has just ended. I will never look at him or be near him again. Ten years. 4 rounds of IVF. He’s always had an ugly side but never raised his hand on me until now. Apparently I was shouting and I’m not allowed to in his mind and that gave him the right to physically attack me.

OP posts:
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EverybodyLTB · 29/08/2025 19:11

Are you safe where you are now? Does he have access or knowledge of where you are? If it’s safe to do so ring 999 as soon as possible.

Pebbles16 · 29/08/2025 19:12

Call 999 and stay safe

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 19:12

Have you phoned the police?

Are you safe?

DollyMixers · 29/08/2025 19:13

I’m so sorry OP, but I’m glad you recognise how despicable his behaviour is and I hope you’re somewhere safe.
when you are safe please phone the police.

Lougle · 29/08/2025 19:13

I'm so sorry

CosyMintFish · 29/08/2025 19:13

You need to get yourself safe OP, and then call the police. A lot of domestic violence can start in pregnancy. Please safeguard yourself and your baby.

ThejoyofNC · 29/08/2025 19:14

I'm so sorry OP. I hope you and your baby are both okay.

Do you have anywhere else to go?

ninjahamster · 29/08/2025 19:14

That’s horrendous. Where are you? Please report him for assault.

Mischance · 29/08/2025 19:14

At this moment all that matters is that you are safe. Is he still with you? Can you get away to stay with relatives?

BreadstickBurglar · 29/08/2025 19:15

Where are you OP? The main priority at this moment is keeping you and your baby safe.

StrikeItMucky · 29/08/2025 19:21

What an abusive cunt. Please get yourself somewhere safe and call the police. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Stay safe

Letsgoroundagainnow · 29/08/2025 19:22

I’m assuming you’ve called the police?

Have you or him left the home?

You need to be safe.

Athreedoorwardrobe · 29/08/2025 19:22

It's awful but domestic violence very commonly increases during pregnancy. It's a common cause of escalation.
I hope you are somewhere safe now. If you feel you can I would log this with the police. Or if you find it easier tell your midwives or GP. They can help you access support but also there will then be an official record of this event happening. This may be important to protect yourself and your child legally going forward.

MeganM3 · 29/08/2025 19:22

Call 999 it needs to be logged by the police. The incident needs to be on record, for yours and the baby’s future safety. I know it’s really hard to report it and no one ever wants to, but you just have to.

landlordhell · 29/08/2025 19:22

999 and do NOT go back ever!

Owly11 · 29/08/2025 19:23

You need to get your pregnancy checked out too.

HurdyGurdy19 · 29/08/2025 19:23

Please get out of the house. Go to a neighbour - even if you don't know them, no decent person will turn away a pregnant woman who has been attacked. And on the off chance that they do, go to the next nearest neighbour.

Then call 999 and let the police deal with him.

landlordhell · 29/08/2025 19:24

HurdyGurdy19 · 29/08/2025 19:23

Please get out of the house. Go to a neighbour - even if you don't know them, no decent person will turn away a pregnant woman who has been attacked. And on the off chance that they do, go to the next nearest neighbour.

Then call 999 and let the police deal with him.

This

curious79 · 29/08/2025 19:26

You MUST call police, even if you feel safe now, as down the line you will want this record of his behaviour when he starts trying to get access to the baby

sanityisamyth · 29/08/2025 19:28

You can also text the police if you’re worried he will hear you. You need him to be removed from the house.

My husband just attacked me
Throwaway65131 · 29/08/2025 19:28

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve gone through this.

As a priority you need to get yourself somewhere safe - and get yourself checked out at hospital.

I know it’s extremely hard when it’s the man you’ve loved all these years and were building a life with but you also need to ring the police (999 if you can’t get to a safe place or 101 if you are safe) - and do that now whilst the incident is fresh in your mind.

Being shouted at is never a reason to assault someone in the way that he has (the only real defence for assaulting someone shouting at you is if it’s pre-emptive in self-defence - eg person is so much in your face you fear you will be assaulted and push them back or they’re raising fists showing an intention to hit you so you hit them first).

Kicking your pregnant wife in the stomach from how you describe it is just inexcusable.

He may not like being shouted at, he may be stressed, he may have other things on his mind, he could be struggling with something - but none of those are an excuse to be violent towards your pregnant wife!

As you say you don’t want to ever be near him again, contacting the police and accepting support from their support agencies can also help with advice in terms of orders forbidding him from coming near you - or having contact with you (usually there’d be an exception via solicitor or similar, when child care is involved people sometimes have a nominated third party or app for child care arrangements etc) - there’s one that you can get through family court called a non molestation order, family court can also help with an occupation order (it grants occupancy / instructs a part to leave the family home - usually for a limited period of time) and police can also help with applying for restraining orders and domestic abuse protection orders (not sure if they’re are still being piloted or across all forces yet).

In the very immediate term though, make sure you are ok physically (hospital) and mentally (speak to friends/family you can trust)

xxx

Booksbussesredyellow · 29/08/2025 19:31

Please firstly make sure you are safe and just take each moment as it comes (and document everything). Contact the police/da charity if you need (it's wish i had).
I could have written this 22 years ago (10 years together, 3 rounds of fertility treatment and no abuse till I became pregnant). I left at 16 weeks.
I now have an adult child who I've brought up independently (no cms or contact), it wasn't how I planned but we survived it and thrived.
Plan for the worst and hope for the best it won't always be as hard as this.
If I could tell my younger self anything it would be pay less attention to the parental guilt and get on with living. I spent many years worrying about lack of contact and angry that ex stopped working so I couldn't claim cms.
Most of all seek support from friends/family or midwife. Tak care you've got something very special to protect now.

MissMoneyFairy · 29/08/2025 19:31

Hope yours safe, thinking of you and your baby, what a terrible thing he did.

Throwaway65131 · 29/08/2025 19:31

Also what others have said - having made the police report will help down the line if there are any child contact issues.

(And in a similar vein, going to hospital and getting checked over - the police can ask for permission to request your medical records from that hospital visit - the hospital would record the reason you’d told them for your visit (and you need to be fully honest to ensure they can do the right checks), which would constitute part of their evidence chain.