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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My husband just attacked me

426 replies

OneSnug · 29/08/2025 19:09

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and my husband just attacked me in an argument and kicked me in the stomach. Our entire relantionship has just ended. I will never look at him or be near him again. Ten years. 4 rounds of IVF. He’s always had an ugly side but never raised his hand on me until now. Apparently I was shouting and I’m not allowed to in his mind and that gave him the right to physically attack me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ThejoyofNC · 29/08/2025 20:18

Beerpink · 29/08/2025 20:00

At times like this, mumsnet should be legally liable if this poor woman ends up dead. The IP and any potential email/phone’s should be given to the appropriate police force so that they can do a welfare check/ do a DASH interview and arrest the suspect.

Make your own thread if you want to talk such rubbish. OP doesn't need it on hers.

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 20:22

MadKittenWoman · 29/08/2025 19:36

Love, get a taxi to A&E immediately and tell them what has happened; ask them to involve the police. I am the mother of an IVF child, now 25, and you really don ‘t need this shit after all that (not saying that any woman who conceives naturally deserves it either). Take care of yourself and your baby now. Flowers.

Agree. A&E staff are highly attuned to domestic abuse, even when the patient doesn't declare it.
Get checked OP and tell them what happened.

Letsgoroundagainnow · 29/08/2025 20:23

Beerpink · 29/08/2025 20:00

At times like this, mumsnet should be legally liable if this poor woman ends up dead. The IP and any potential email/phone’s should be given to the appropriate police force so that they can do a welfare check/ do a DASH interview and arrest the suspect.

Now what could go wrong with that….

963dup · 29/08/2025 20:25

Find another place to stay, call the police. Next time it could be fatal. You have too much at stake right now. DON'T WAIT!!

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 29/08/2025 20:27

curious79 · 29/08/2025 19:26

You MUST call police, even if you feel safe now, as down the line you will want this record of his behaviour when he starts trying to get access to the baby

This is good advice.

Original poster
OneSnug · 29/08/2025 20:27

Thanks for all your messages I am reading them one by one and at a time when I really have no one it means the world to me that you are all taking the time to reply to me. Unfortunately my situation is more complex. I am abroad in my husbands country, no family, friends or support system. My only safe way out is to plan to leave and do it when he is at work or when he least expects it. He is actually due to travel for work next week so that will be my best opportunity to take a flight to my mums house and never return. I feel bruised and sore and so distraught. I’ve locked myself in the bedroom; last thing he was shouting at me was that he will prove for me his sperm is good and get another women pregnant naturally (doctors told us his sperm is the reason we had so much difficulty even within IVF context but he won’t accept that, even though he was happy to accept when it was me who had the issues. He actually clearly knew he had a sperm issue for a long time because he never showed me his sperm results and just told me everything was “fine”). What a horrible man I married. I honestly can’t believe after all the struggle we endured to concieve, including me spending almost this entire summer abroad in a different country to where we live for treatment which included a surgery I did, 1 failed cycle, a second successful cycle (now pregnant). He hasn’t even tried to speak to me to apologise not that it would make a difference now but that truly shows he believes he was right in what he did.

OP posts:
Catcatcat111 · 29/08/2025 20:30

I’m so sorry OP. I would definitely fly home as soon as you’re safe, you really don’t want the baby to be born in his country. Check he can’t read any of these messages on his devices. I’d go and find your passport and hide it so he can’t stop you leaving. Keep posting here if it helps, wishing you lots of strength for the coming days.

Yesterdaytodaytomorrowagain · 29/08/2025 20:30

OP do you physically feel ok after being kicked? Do you need to get checked out? Stay safe till next week and get your escape planned x

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:31

The idea of you having to stay there until next week really concerns me, OP.

Would it not be better to phone the police? You don’t want to risk things escalating.

Wall13 · 29/08/2025 20:32

Please keep yourself safe, and don't let your husband anywhere near you. Make sure you have everything you need to make a quick exit when the opportunity arises.
You may not have any physical friends around you, but we are all here for you and will help in any way we can.
please stay safe

MissMoneyFairy · 29/08/2025 20:32

What a horrible man. Have you been checked over by a doctor. Is there a British embassy where you ate who can offer you safety.

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:33

Get yourself to a hospital to be checked out physically, and also get the, to help you. You really don’t want to be around this monster for any more time.

ArmySurplusHamster · 29/08/2025 20:33

Beerpink · 29/08/2025 20:00

At times like this, mumsnet should be legally liable if this poor woman ends up dead. The IP and any potential email/phone’s should be given to the appropriate police force so that they can do a welfare check/ do a DASH interview and arrest the suspect.

Absolute bollocks. The OP is presumably familiar with the concept of dialling 999, quite apart from following up any of the agencies posters have advised. (And Mumsnet really doesn’t need to be encouraged to make free with users’ data.)

Mygrandkidsaregreat · 29/08/2025 20:34

Sadly many women are physically abused in pregnancy.I worked in that area and saw it a lot.In my experience it tends to escalate as the pregnancy progresses.
As others have said make sure health professionals know,and leave this man.Get advice from a solicitor or domestic abuse helpline.
Good luck going forward.

Necsa · 29/08/2025 20:34

Is he narcissistic? You can subscribe to Empathy Bliss on YouTube they have good videos, you can get insight from there

Ohmygodnotnow · 29/08/2025 20:37

OP what country are you in? I ask because the laws there may not be supportive to women, especially when children are involved. Are you in a position to get to your embassy? Please make sure he doesn't find this thread-clear your browser and consider switching to private. We are all here to support you whenever you need it xxx

Ithinididit · 29/08/2025 20:38

@OneSnug Really sorry youre going through this. Can you not leave the house?

Zoono · 29/08/2025 20:39

I hope you and your baby are safe and far away from that evil cretin. Have you got somewhere safe to go?

Christwosheds · 29/08/2025 20:39

OP can your Mum or anyone else come to ‘visit’ you and bring you home ? Are you in Europe now and where is your Mum ?

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 20:43

Domestic abuse means you're entitled to Legal Aid in a divorce OP. That's another reason to have it recorded.

ShuriPouri · 29/08/2025 20:43

OneSnug · 29/08/2025 20:27

Thanks for all your messages I am reading them one by one and at a time when I really have no one it means the world to me that you are all taking the time to reply to me. Unfortunately my situation is more complex. I am abroad in my husbands country, no family, friends or support system. My only safe way out is to plan to leave and do it when he is at work or when he least expects it. He is actually due to travel for work next week so that will be my best opportunity to take a flight to my mums house and never return. I feel bruised and sore and so distraught. I’ve locked myself in the bedroom; last thing he was shouting at me was that he will prove for me his sperm is good and get another women pregnant naturally (doctors told us his sperm is the reason we had so much difficulty even within IVF context but he won’t accept that, even though he was happy to accept when it was me who had the issues. He actually clearly knew he had a sperm issue for a long time because he never showed me his sperm results and just told me everything was “fine”). What a horrible man I married. I honestly can’t believe after all the struggle we endured to concieve, including me spending almost this entire summer abroad in a different country to where we live for treatment which included a surgery I did, 1 failed cycle, a second successful cycle (now pregnant). He hasn’t even tried to speak to me to apologise not that it would make a difference now but that truly shows he believes he was right in what he did.

I did this with my ex. He was abusive, and we were living abroad at the time. I waited till he was on a business trip and left with my son - 16months old at the time. I knew I had to wait for him to be out the house or he would stop me.

My folks who could barely afford it helped me pay for a flight back home. I never looked back.

I hope that you are safe and can get out of there.

Sending hugs

Catcatcat111 · 29/08/2025 20:44

I don’t know much, and other posters may know a lot more, but I wonder if pp suggestion of British consulate is a good idea (apologies if you’re not british).

JamPotJenny · 29/08/2025 20:44

Where is your passport OP?

Columbidae · 29/08/2025 20:50

Can you look up whether there are any women's organisations in the UK that do work in the country you are in? You may be able to get advice or assistance. Or call the nearest British consulate as a pp said.

Take care of yourself OP.

BrendaSmall · 29/08/2025 20:52

Hopefully you’ve got your passport somewhere safe only you can access it??