My husband just attacked me

[OneSnug]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and my husband just attacked me in an argument and kicked me in the stomach. Our entire relantionship has just ended. I will never look at him or be near him again. Ten years. 4 rounds of IVF. He’s always had an ugly side but never raised his hand on me until now. Apparently I was shouting and I’m not allowed to in his mind and that gave him the right to physically attack me.

Unfortunately where we live is not pro women and I’m petrified the police would make me return to him or downplay the situation so best I don’t risk it.

Good luck, I will be thinking of you. Make sure he can't access your phone.

Please take extra care, and leave as soon as it seems safe to do so. I think the baby will be okay, but please get checked tomorrow.

Documenting the evidence is a smart thing to do. Infertile sperm is no excuse for his treatment, and it may be worse next time.
Prayers and hugs

Please, OP, when he is at work tomorrow, consider just packing up your important stuff and going to the airport. Get the Dr report and check up when you are home. It’s even more worrying if you’re in a country where the police might take his side.

Umm - yes of course you were aware. Blimey, I was just showing some empathy. I wasn't judging you, which is why I sent the kiss.

Why are you still
with it

Don’t let him downplay it or apologise he isn’t sorry I hope you can leave and your baby will be alright

I'm so sorry he did this OP.

You are way more important than stuff, I understand your logic but do remember it's ok to leave it as well.

Many people have said the most dangerous time is when you try to leave. I agree. But also, you are in danger at all times.

The typical abusive pattern at this stage is for the abuser to become very remorseful, apologetic and very 'loving.' It can be hard for the victim because they know that part of the abuser may mean it. The problem is he will NEVER change.

You need to be out of there asap, but safely and he must not be aware. There are too many reports out there of women who've been warned but end up a statistic. Don't let that be you. Any show of remorse or affection, don't let it get to you, have some barrier to it even if you don't show that.

I wish you well.

The only things you need are the clothes you are wearing and your passport. Nothing - and I mean nothing - else is important, least of all things that mean you'll be very obviously lugging multiple suitcases around instead of quietly slipping out of the house as though you were going to buy some milk or bread and then keeping going until you get to your Mum's front door.

You need to hide your passport. I dread to think of the consequences if he gets a sniff that you are planning to go. How far away from the airport are you? Is there any risk that he could have his work trip cancelled?

As you in a country where women have no rights just get out and see a doctor when you get back to your home country.

Gosh stay safe OP. Good luck with your escape plan. Please update when you have left this toxic man.

@OneSnug. I am so so sorry that you are going through this 💕. We are all here with you if you need any support.
so .. you have your plan which is to leave , as everyone has said this has to be done safely.

you need to put on the best act now so he does not suspect anything. If he knows where ur passport is don’t move it untill you are ready to leave, delete these conversations off your phone too.
don’t stress too much about your things they are just things and you and that baby at the most important .
you can and will do this and be with your family soon. We are all here supporting you so don’t give up 💕

If you have anyone you can trust to look after your passport leave it with them. If he gets suspicious he may try taking it with him. Be careful. Don't book a flight with a bank account he can access and create a new email if booking tickets online. Just incase he has access to your emails.

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve just gone through. There are words that I can’t really use on here to describe the despicable behaviour of what your disgusting husband has done to you. My ex partner, and my ( now adult) daughter’s dad started getting violent and emotionally abusive towards me when I was pregnant. You have made the right decision to get out. First please call the police, if you haven’t already ( whether or not you press charges ( obviously some women don’t want to, thats your choice as well) but this incident needs to be reported and a record kept, obviously in case of anything else he may do. I know it’s early days in your pregnancy but please go and see your gp. You really need as much support as possible right now, and get lots of advice from Domestic Violence organisations Do you have close family or friends that you can talk to or stay with? I brought up my daughter from 18th months old without any financial help from her useless and violent alcoholic dad, and only wish I hadn’t left sooner. It’s wasn’t easy, but you will get through this. Sending you love and best wishes x

Multiple suitcases will be way too conspicuous- please just leave with a medium size handbag or gym bag (if you normally carry one) .

The way he is, you don’t even know if he’s got cameras set up to watch what you’re doing while he’s away.

I know you’re in shock but please just get any flight home asap once he’s working tomorrow. Don’t go to the hospital unless you feel you physically deteriorate to the point of a medical emergency. Don’t go to the police station. They are not on your side. Just get home.

You only should take your passport and other ID docs (ie birth certificate, visa papers), any really valuable items (such as jewelry or irreplaceable sentimental items) and any financial docs (but only if those items are easily accessible). The only absolute essential though is you, your passport and your phone/ bank cards. Anything else is not worth delaying leaving for. You don’t know when will be your last opportunity to go and you don’t know who is watching you.

Also further to my quoted message- get any flight to a tourist destination in Europe if there are no available flights to the Uk tomorrow. You can fly from that airport back home. Most important thing is that you are out of the country and in a country that might protect you in the event your husband escalates things.

What country are you in @OneSnug? If you are in mine you can come to me. You need to get out firstly. Call the. Police do you have a friend nearby you can go to?

Think logically. Get your passport, I'd , any cards, cash together. You need to get out NOW

Thinking of you and so hoping you are safe.

Please just book the quickest flight out of there and head straight to the airport. I wouldn’t tell anyone. Even if you think you can trust them, they may feel compromised and tell their partner/ husband or worst still your husband. Take your passport and take a small bag and what you really need ( Do not give them to anyone to look after and keep them with you at all times) Please remember items are replaceable. Your life and baby’s are not. As you’ve just said he may suspect you’re leaving and anyone else could tell your husband. Just get out of the country and get medical advice when you’re safely back to where you’re going. Good luck and please let us know that you’re ok x

I'm so sorry OP.

So sorry op, stupid stupid man child.

The fuckin disgusting beast. If he’s done that when you’re pregnant then I dread to think what he’ll do when you’re not. Not only that but what hAppens when the baby is here and he/she cries and cries. Is he going to lose his temper then.

OP isn’t in a country where the police will help… in some countries DV victims are sectioned or returned to husband

Quite the understatement